


One week to teach me

by anxiaohong



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Adopted Jace, Adoption, Bullying, Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Homecoming, Jace is a Lightwood, Jealous Jace Wayland, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2020-07-27 11:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 44,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20044885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiaohong/pseuds/anxiaohong
Summary: Simon is the kind of person Jace would only find himself tied to in specific situations such as when he needs him to set him up with his best friend Clary.That was about to change..





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, dear readers.  
The story occurs in one week, which means that there will be seven chapters for each day of the week. Let's say that Monday is a sort of presentation and Sunday a conclusion to the story. So, there might be some chapters that you'll find shorter than the others. In this case, forgive me, but it's for the sake of the story concept.
> 
> Be advised, this story contains mature themes and strong language, just be careful.  
Did I mention that my chapters are excessively long?
> 
> I'm sorry for my bad English, also. I'm learning and improving, so if you have any advise, I'm all ears.  
This story means a lot to me since I've taken a lot of my free time to write it. So thank you for trying it out, it really warms my heart.
> 
> I swear I'm gonna leave you alone, now, but one more thing;  
I do not own Shadowhunters and its characters only belong to Cassandra Clare.

Even his name sounded like a cliche.   
_Jace Lightwood_. Pronoucing that name had a bitter taste. Your typical golden football captain in one of those movies people had stopped watching by now. A jock living in a mansion house in the center of the town, alongside a wealthy family including Maryse and Robert Lightwood, that were, by the way, and it had its importance, famous actors in the USA, not to forget his beloved siblings Isabelle, Alexander and his baby brother Maxwell Lightwood.  
Where you could see Jace, you could see his gorgeous siblings never leaving his side, Izzy and Alec, forming on their own three genuine eye candies.

The said golden boy, on top of it, and unlike the others, was a full-time heartbreaker. The kind that spent his free time on uncountable one-night-stands when he was bored, leaving poor smitten girls behind in the following hours. The kind that enjoyed gallivanting in the streets and could easily get over fifteen numbers in one get-together night only.   
The guy was known for being obnoxiously conceited, sassy, having somehow suitable grades (even if most of the time it was all thanks to his big brother Alec) and being as much alluring as charming which offset his abysmal demeanor.  
And, if his entrancing heterochromic eyes laid on you, it was certainly because you had become his prey. And when Jace wants something, he always gets it.

This is something that Simon Lewis had come to learn over time and reluctantly accepted, no one could do anything about it anyway, and he couldn't help but think that the next prey might be his best friend Clary. The flaring color of her hair, this angelic smile she was constantly sporting, would have anyone besotted, Simon knew that better than anyone. He had been pining over her since kindergarten. He'd had time to know that her beauty paid off.  
He thought that the single shiver that ran down his spine when she touched him was a feeling of love. After all, perhaps it was.

But now, it had become unsubtential. The way she looked at him would never be somehow different, but forever enough. And, despite himself, he had noticed the rather off-putting lust in Jace's unevenly colored eyes when they landed on the redhead, who seemed to be pretty oblivious about it all.   
Simon wouldn't say anything, what encompassed Clary's lovelife was now Clary's and **only** Clary's business.   
And, from now on, he was only thankful that the never ending pang he had first felt in his chest was long gone and replaced by indifference. He didn't need anymore pressure adding to the one he had due to his sexuality that wasn't a secret to everyone. Not that people really cared, anyway.

This one day, everyone looked overexcited and flustered in the bustling hallways.

With one tiny moment of reflexion, Simon surmised that the Homecoming prom was reason of it all. It would take place in a week and everybody was attempting zealously to bring a date to the party. Except him.  
He had never really given his precious attention to any of these prom stuffs. He had seen it in plenty of movies but only considered it as a bad movie plot. He wouldn't go to the party, either way. He'd rather shove his nose into some comics books he begrudgingly knew by heart and drown himself to pity in front of Star Wars movies. No matter what people would think about it, if they even noticed his absence, which would be astounding.   
He hadn't ever felt the need to stop spending his life nerding out. He knew the pride his mother addressed him, due to the most valuable grades he had and, it was all that mattered to him, with keeping Clary in his life.

"Okay, so... how about Maia?"   
He sensed the high pitched voice bring him back to reality, lowered his gaze on his small redhead best friend now out of her previous unbreakable state of trance.

"How about Maia..?" He reiterated cluelessly, which earned him a hard poke on his shoulder, Simon sure needed to strengthen up. As for her, her unimpressive height had nothing to do with her strength.  
"Ouch!"

"C'mon, you _know _what I'm talking about."

Simon shrugged it off, innocently, as much as he knew aptly what she was alluding to.

Needless to say, Maia was nothing if not the incarnation itself of _hotness_. And so no need to mention as well that she sat at the 'popular ones table' at lunch break, this was from far enough for Simon to stripe her from his few options. 

"She obviously likes you, Si'."  
Clary groaned and rolled her fair green eyes in despair, in which reflected the lights from the ceiling.   
"You should make a move."

"What exactly do you want me to say? 'Oh hey, I'm Simon! You know, the pansexual nerd that sits next to you in chemistry class! I actually think that we have chemistry, if you know what I mean!' Because that would be a bad move. Really bad."

Clary couldn't help but guffaw at the stupidity of his reply, which had him scowling at her.   
"No. Please, spare me from the embarassment."   
She squwaked back as she tittered. "Okay, I mean, you do you. But then, how about Raphael? I mean, he's hot, not 'out of your league' as you so tend to say and you two seem to get along pretty well-"

"Excuse me, 'get along' ?! We do everything but get along. Our interactions only involves arguments and ridiculous banters. Well, mostly him aggressively making fun of me."

"That's because he likes you, silly! You can be so naive sometimes."

"Says the girl who doesn't even notice that Jace Lightwood is hitting on her."

"What? Have you lost your mind..? Jace doesn't hit on me... does he?"

Simon had to be the one who rolled his eyes this time, before the bell rang through the school and urged every student to hastily head in class, them included.

* * *

Everyone sat in a loud hubbub in class before the art teacher came in and solemnly ordered everyone to be quiet. Jace sat next to Alec this time. Actually, he never knew who he was going to sit with. That's something that goes with having a lot of friends. If you can call them _friends_. The only ones that actually knew him well were his siblings. And they were also the only ones he felt at ease with, which no one had to be aware of.

Jace was fine with his life. Being loved at school was a privilege he didn't have at home. His parents were scarcely there, every once in a while they'd consider being home, but otherwise, they were _constantly _away in a work trip or whatsoever. Which reminded him that they would leave soon for some business stuff in Atlanta, for an umpteenth time, and he wouldn't see them all week.  
To be honest, Jace didn't mind.   
When they were both present, it no longer felt like home. They would fight about business matters as a hobby. And, expecting him to be the perfect upstanding and rightful child they had raised this way, they would be as infuriating as they'd always been. . 

Jace was falling sick of the grating sound of his parents unfairly loudly shouting at each other down in the kitchen, sick of the way his sister was for some still unknown reason belittled by their mother, and his brother abused by their father.   
He was sick of being the one forsaken, the one left out, standing out and being reminded of his adoption at any opportunity, most of the time unecessarily.   
And sick was a word, not quite enough to depict what he felt in reality.  
He felt tired. Really tired.

There was no denying; he wasn't the upstanding child nor rightful, he was far from being an example.   
Not with the failure he was at class, not with his behaviour around people he deemed as inferior.

Jace scoffed at his own train of thoughts.   
He surely didn't give a shit about the people strewn around this class, the persons he sat along with. Nobody truly cared about him, either way. People did just want to get into his pants. Which he understood, he couldn't say he wasn't handsome.

After plunking down on his chair and digging out his books from his backpack, his eyes glazed up at the two last students entering the room.  
_Clary Fairchild_. Daughter of Jocelyn Fairchild, the art teacher.   
He had noticed her many times. Not that he was stalking her or anything, _not at all_.

But as she waved her mother greetings stealthily and walked by her seat, he couldn't help but stare as the wavy ginger hair fell down her lower back, the fiery green eyes that skimmed the several faces into the room, and her slim silhouette plodding towards the back of the class in determination.  
And, as she finally set down, Jace's eyes automatically following her gestures, he turned around.   
He visibly didn't care being caught staring, he knew better than to _care_ at this sole moment.

Because then, her eyes met _his_.   
And he could see them widening from afar and her cheeks reddening flushed in embarrassment when she eventually averted his delving gaze.   
He smirked satisfyingly. _No one resisted Jace Lightwood_.

He was about to turn back on his seat in complacent victory, before he took in sight the dark haired boy sitting close to her. For a second there, he almost thought he was facing a rival. How unthoughtful of him...

Jace frowned. He had never really paid attention to the boy. Not that nerds were his type.  
Or boys at all, for that matter.  
But he was cute, and when he removed his glasses to clean them with a tissue, skittering thin fingers through his silky hair, Jace suddenly got an idea.   
He did eventually turn back on his seat, one mischievous smile still tugging on his lips.

Jace had been planning on asking Clary out on a date for a while, as surprising as it was even for himself. It wouldn't be such a tough task... But his friends from the football team had still mocked him too many times about the fact that he apparently had never taken that much time to ask a girl out. Which was true. He barely needed to _ask _anyone, in normal circumstances...

Homecoming ball was coming way too soon, and he had to make it quick.   
He wouldn't lose anything, anyway. If she didn't accept, which was practically unthinkable, he had a literal whole swarm of other girls that craved to go out with him. He'd just take one as a way to fuel a still unknown jealousy in Clary and then blow her off when the time would come.  
Of course, he had tried to arise her attention. However, for some reason, she had kept acting like she was everything but interested.   
She was a _challenge_. And Jace was willing to take that challenge.

Even though, he had to admit, his options were... how to put it.. practically inexistent? He hardly knew anything about her apart from the simple fact that, from as long as he had known her, she'd always be accompanied by that nerd friend of hers whom he didn't even know the name.

He was her best friend, after all. He probably knew thousands of things that he could easily use to his profit. And, there was no doubt, the poor nerd was still single, pertaining on his lack of fashion and the ridiculous glasses he kept wearing.  
So here's the idea. He'd offer him a profitable deal. Simple.   
If he helps him getting Clary before saturday, then he'd help him getting someone of his choice in the same extension of time.   
**Today**. At lunch.

* * *

**12.00**   
**Drrrrriiiiing**

"Mum wants me to run an errand after school, come with me. Please..?"   
Clary pleaded as she pouted innocently, making those puppy eyes nobody could pass over. And Simon even less.

"Fine. It better be quick, you know my mother hates it when I'm late." He gave in, after barely balking. Turning down his best friend was something he wasn't able to do yet.

"Then, you can tell her-"

"Aaaand she hates it when I call her while she's at work."

Clary rolled her eyes in frustration while Simon started tinkering the laces of his hoodie, waiting rather impatiently for her to pack her stuffs, as he felt his stomach growl in hunger.

"I'm starving.. Hurry up, Fray!" He whimpered, making Clary gather her books even slower, until Simon nudged her in the shoulder.

"Okay, okay, here!" She sneered, smugly smiling to herself, and swang her bag on her shoulder.

The corridors were undisturbed as Clary and Simon strolled out of the room, a smooth silence caressing their ears.   
The cafeteria, though, was laden with throng of students when they stepped in, looking for their usual seats which were now taken.

Their eyes browsered the room filled with an intoxicating scent of food, and the deafening voices of the students.   
They eventually ended up spotting Raphael in a corner, taken aback at the sight of him plotting with Camille Belcourt. Who happened to be Magnus's ex girlfriend.

Simon had never showed interest in this girl. Simon scarcely showed interest in anyone unless they were worth it. And this one was the farthest from being part of them.

She was part of the cheerleader team, though, hence one of the most popular students, albeit not part of Jace's group since his siblings are related to Magnus who fairly didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. Which was more than understandable, Simon thought.  
Simon rewinded the day she dumped him and outed in the light of the whole high school, called him boring and clingy, and spurned him away for the dickhead that claimed himself football player, Jonathan Morgenstern, that Simon didn't stand either, if it was the term for it. A basic bully, someone who was born with no heart. Devilish would be a mild word to describe him.

He shared a glance with Clary before they both shook their head together.

"No way we sit there-"  
"Definitely not, no way."   
They concerted, just as usual. 

Suddenly, as they both looked rather uncomfortable as to where to sit, they caught a hand waving in the air, someone with outstanding golden locks beckoning to them.

"Is that Jace over there?" Clary yell whispered, leaning over Simon's ear.

"Told you he had a crush on you."

Simon innerly chided himself for following Clary as she confidently sashayed her way to the table in the middle of the room.   
Without any doubt, Jace had waved at Clary, so he could force his way into her life, nothing unusual.

So, what exactly was the fumbling loon nerd doing standing awkwardly in front of the table?   
Simon himself didn't know. He watched precautiously Jace who was sitting next to his older brother and Clary now by his side. Next to Alec was Maia-_ incarnation of hotness_-, and in front of them, Izzy was sat beside the magnificent Magnus who was chatting with Heidi.   
Anyway, they always sticked together, although not all being in complete complicity, but they supported and stood each other, which was visibly enough.   
For example, Heidi didn't like Izzy for some reason that, Simon surmised, was called jealousy. Sebastian, who wasn't there this time, had a fond for Izzy which didn't really please Alec. Sebastian was a good guy, handsome, wholesome, staunch and quite clever but Alec was Alec. And he had always been pretty overprotective.

Regardless, as soon as Simon's feet stepped close enough to them all, he felt a tight clasp on his wrist pulling him down on a chair, slamming the plate he was carrying on the table.

"Hi there!"   
Wide eyed, Simon turned his head to the one who dragged him down. Up close, her eyes were a pool of honey, scalding under the sunbathing light that kissed the curves of her face, almost paler than his own skin, bright like melting snow.  
Her lips twisted up in a smile that reflected mirth, eventually, her voice was softly brought to Simon's ears.  
And then it hit him.   
_Isabelle Sophia Lightwood was talking to him. _  
"Like what you see?" Her teasing voice resounded through his ears as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Uh... yes? I-no.. I mean, yes you're really good looking but-"

Her brief chortle, in attempt to cut him off, made him quiver in embarrassment.

"You must be Simon Lewis! I'm Isabelle Lightwood but you can call me Izzy. Though, I'm quite sure you already know me."

If it was too much for Simon to handle, Izzy certainly wasn't having a hard time keeping up on what was happening. She plainly took a bite of her food in breezing elegance, Simon gazing at her in awe.

"So, which club are you in?"   
Her voice, as she sputtered mouthful, sounded slightly curious, which had Simon confused and dizzy, until he shook it off. He cleared his throat in order to pull himself together. It was no big deal. It was just Isabelle freakin' Lightwood, after all.

"In the club for nerd freaks I guess..?That's what I keep telling people, anyway..."   
Her granting snickering revealed a row of white perfect brightening teeth.   
She was the embodiment of perfection, as a matter of fact. And perfection had nothing to do with Simon Lewis.

"I'm a cheerleader. And here's the moment I'm supposed to tell you how blissful I am about it. Truth to be told, whatever your club is, must be much more interesting than mine." 

"Don't you like it?"

"I don't know.. Girls would kill to be part of the cheerleader team. The thing is that, it was more of my mother's dream to be a cheerleader, not mine. So, I did it to please her, like most of the important decisions I take."

"Then, which club would you have joined if you had a choice?"

The question seemed to have fueled her attention, she looked back up at Simon, with a wicked smirk on her face.

"I'm seeking out... adventure. Something different. Less typical. If I had a choice, and if there was some martial art club, I would have definitely signed up."

Getting drowned in this discussion had Simon almost forgetting where he was.   
He had caught himself lightening up and rather interested in the girl who scanned every corners and curves of his face. He had believed Izzy would be like every other girls, dismissive and rude, heartless. And he was glad he had been wrong.

"Or a cook club. Because I suck at all about cooking. Every time I bake something for my brothers, they spit it back or toss it thinking that I don't see them."  
She quipped with a scowl, having Simon chuckling before someone spoke up and broke whatever moment they were having.

"We perfectly know you see us Izzy. You just still keep trying."

Simon diverted his gaze away from Izzy, his smile fizzling out. His eyes laid on a tall hazel eyed man that, despite himself, had a lot of success in the school.  
He looked stern, the typical Lightwood appearance, and closed off. But for what he reminded as the first time in his life, Simon could see a coy smile forming on his face.   
Alec Lightwood. Part of the archery club.

Gorgeous, he had to say. Sharp cheekbones, slightly full lips, perfectly arched eyebrows and messy hair. Obviously black clothes, one of his habits, that sinfully fitted his muscular arms and chest. If Simon didn't know better, he'd have let his heart flip at the sight. 

"Tell me about it." The blond kindred replied, deadly smirk unfurling as well on his lips.   
Which marked the moment Simon let his eyes onto him. His hair not gelled for once, free to fall on his face, silky gold, hanging above those capsizing eyes that were a gift once glazed over someone. His gaze fell along his well traced strong jaw, down the curve of his broad shoulders, until Izzy abruptly brought him back to the dull reality.

"Well, I guess it's time to introduce. Simon, meet Alexander and Jace, my brothers, Magnus, Alec's weakness-"

"Izzy." Alec cut her off sternly as she added the last information in muttered words, visibly loud enough for everyone to hear.

"C'mon! This is not something to conceal! Dating Magnus Bane is an honour!"   
She squeaked, no one retorting on that matter.   
For sure, it was. Magnus was probably the only one who could easily vie with Jace's beauty. His asian features that granted him his piercing slender eyes had the power to make anyone fall for him.   
He was the male version of hotness. He had the breathtaking dancer status, the fittest body, the eccentric hairstyle. He had it all.   
  
But what distinguished Magnus' reputation from Jace's was his wiseness. He was impressively smart and selfless.   
If Simon admired someone in this life, that had to be Magnus for sure. Alongside his never ending sarcasm.

Alec and him were the perfect match. 

"Oh, Izzy, I wouldn't go that far. Yet, I have to admit I'm not so bad."   
Magnus commented, an amused twinkle in his eyes.

Simon watched in spectator Isabelle sniggering, Alec rolling his eyes, and the faint shade of red on his cheeks betraying him.

"Here's Heidi from the dance club and Maia. I advise you don't mess with her, she breaks noses. But she's nice." Izzy drawled unobstrusively.

"And guys, this is Simon!"   
Simon smiled, slightly queasy, as every eyes were right on him, a fact that, being very uncommon, made him uneasy.

"Hi..?"

"It's nice to meet you! Magnus has told us about you." Heidi's voice alerted him in familiarity.

"Oh is that so?" Simon boggled dumbfoundedly.

"I've known Clary for a while now, all friends of Clary are mine, too." 

Magnus' comeback had questions lining up in Simon's mind. But also a crestfallen smile he couldn't repress at the thought of Clary mentionning him.

They were best friends after all. The opposite would have had him astonished. Regardless he'd have to keep his heart from thumping this hard within his chest.   
Especially when Jace's unpleased glare met his vulnerable look. 

"So, best friends, huh?"

"Yeah, uh, we met in kindergarten. Long story. We grew inseperable since then." Clary briefly summed up in response to Izzy's question. A dreamy smile on her face accompanied her words, that was somehow directed to Simon who was smiling as well.

"That sounds romantic." Heidi commented, her gaze faltering between the two old friends. An unseemly silence had everyone noticing the way both Isabelle and Jace let out a scoff through their noses before giving each other a look. 

"Oh-uh-no... I... I think you misunderstood-"

"We're just friends." Simon intervened, before she'd make a fool of herself in front of Jace who blatantly seemed annoyed by the turning of the conversation. She addressed him a thankful nod.

"Anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you. You really are... intriguing."   
Izzy beamed at Simon, bringing her bottle of water to her lips that left a red stain on the material, her eyes not once leaving his, during this slight gesture that made Simon's throat go dry.

This year was going to be much more interesting than expected...

Jace couldn't help but think that this whole best friends thing was bullshit. He assessed the two of them, all chummy and smiling at each other. Ridiculous...  
This wasn't jealousy. A tiny sliver of possessiveness, maybe.  
The nerd sure couldn't rivalise with him, anyway.

The remain of the lunch had been excessively infuriating, if not worse. Everyone was now ranting about Simon's band and his _gift_ for music. A so said gift that they didn't even know about. They were even talking about attending to one of his gigs at the Hunters Moon. Can you believe it?

That was not even thinkable. There was no way the golden boy would waste his precious time for some insignificant nerd music.

Alec hadn't seemed very enthusiastic either, which he was thankful for. One of the reasons why Alec and him were on the same page, he kept on groaning so slightly that no one noticed except Jace who couldn't help but snort each time. On the contrary, his sister looked more than thrilled about it, she sure as well would force Alec and him into her projects of hogging up Simon.   
Because, by all means, Jace had beheld the way she was subtly- or not so much- flirting with him, or noticed the suspicious gleam in her eyes of an outlet to boredom. And he had also heard her scoff when Heidi called Clary's and Simon's friendship _romantic_.

If she makes a move with Simon, the idea now solely at the back of Jace's head would never come true. 

He had to inform Izzy about his little plan. But most of all, he had to talk to Simon. **Right now**.

"So, you're new to this school, right?" Jace tempted, carelessly cutting the discussion he had with Maia.

"Um, yeah. I was in the south of Brooklyn before. And so was Clary, we-"

"That's awesome. I take it you must be a bit lost in this huge huddle of agitation."

"Well, it's October so I start to-"

"I'd like to show you something. Since you don't know this school that much, I guess you haven't seen it yet. Come with me?"   
Jace almost ordered, not even waiting for a potential answer, and got up in an almost too fast motion, to head out of the cafeteria, feeling Simon awkwardly following behind. He didn't bother looking back.

He turned at his right, taking tall and long strides, almost losing Simon behind, until he reached the room he was looking for.

"Jace, what are you do-"   
The nerd asked before involuntarily bumping into Jace who had abruptly stopped in front of a room door lost in the millions of corridors.

Jace deftly swang it open and stepped in, letting the other close the door behind, which he halfheartedly did. It's only then that Jace turned around and faced him.  
The room was filled with loads of pianos and drums. There was some speakers and mikes strewn everywhere, some perfectly varnished guitars hung on the white chastened walls that Simon knew too well.

"Well, if that's the thing you wanted to show me, I kinda already know it since I'm part of the music club and as I was saying before you so nicely interrupted me, it's October, so-"

"I'm gonna tell the others that I showed you this room you **hadn't** had the opportunity to visit yet, and that you played some random music to show me your so said talent. Is that understood?"

Simon was going to retort about interrupting once again, before his eyes widened in mistrust and he took a careful step behind. 

"Is that the moment you're supposed to kill me or something?.."

As a matter of fact, Simon had inwardly listed the possible reasons behind this unlikely situation, and, apart from something Simon hated himself for imagining, this discussion resulting in murder was the most convincing scenario...

But Jace just crossed his arms over his impressive chest. This was relieving... or was it? 

"You know that prom's in a few days, right?"

Simon bobbed his head quickly in agreement, his eyes still unecessarily wide while Jace started to pensively pace around the room.

"And you also know I like Clary."

"Kinda hard to miss.." He paused. "Is that why you want to kill me?" He then added in confusion, yet looking serious about it.

Jace ignored him.

"I'm practically sure you're struggling to find a date for the party, aren't you?"

Simon opened his mouth, looking pretty offended.  
"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yes or no?" His voice, being inordinately stern and firm had Simon back out again, sealing instantly his parted lips.

"... yes."

"Well, I have a deal." The taller boy announced and took a few steps forth, making the other retreat until he was stuck against the wall.

"I'm all ears." He said nervously, his jaw clenched in fear.

"That's simple. You help me going out with Clary, I help you going out with someone you picked."

The tension left Simon's body and whittled away once he registered what was happening, a frown yet forming wrinkles on his forehead as he looked right into Jace's eyes.

"What?" He asked in bemusement.   
"Haven't you thought that I'm from far the worst matchmaker in this high school? Why asking me??"

"Perhaps because you're closer to Clary than anyone else, silly."

"Why do everyone call me silly..?" He murmured to himself. "Anyway, as you just said, prom is in less than a week, we'll never be able to do this in so bare time!"

"Do I have to remind you that I'm Jace Lightwood?"

"Well, you just did.. but it doesn't change anything! Because Clary Fairchild is Clary Fairchild and trust me, she's really different from every other girls you 'dated'."

"See? You know everything about her."   
Jace stated, a sly smirk on his face that shouted his victory an forced Simon to roll his eyes.   
"You're not gonna show up at the homecoming ball alone, are you?"

Simon opened his mouth and closed it so many times that it felt like hours had just spilled by.

"I could... like.. just **not** show up."

"And you think Clary would allow you to stay miserable on your couch in front of Star Wars outdated movies?"

"How do you-"

"You need a date, I want Clary. That works."

Simon sighed defeatedly. He knew how many times people had made fun of him or how many times his mother had seemed bothered by the fact that he was still single after his break up with Maureen. She mentioned it pretty much everyday. So that wasn't even countable.  
That was maybe the occasion to show them otherwise. Maybe it was fate. After all, that's Jace Lightwood we're talking about. Besides, Clary didn't seem disgruntled at the idea of Jace pining over her. Maybe that wasn't a bad idea, after all.

"But, what if no one just wants me and I end up alone and you settled?.." He asked weakly, not daring to look up at his nemesis.

"I'll make sure that won't happen."

Jace's seductive voice and his confident behaviour stood in front of Simon and the latter could only give in.

"Okay. Deal."   
He held out a hand to Jace but this one just ignored it.

"Meet me at my place at 6. Maybe you could help me out with my homeworks while we're at it."   
As quick as they'd come, he stormed out of the room, away from Simon's sight who dropped his hand away.

"But-... Hey, that's not part of the deal!" 

* * *

"What was that all about??"

Izzy and Jace trudged by the hallways, leaving Magnus and Alec on their own, for everyone's sake.

"What are you talking about?"  
Jace asked, turning on his left to reach the locker area, his little sister a few feet behind him.

"Don't play dumb with me, Jace. I know you're up to something in my back. We both know that you didn't drag Simon out just so you could listen to him singing. You were practically rolling your eyes when we talked about attending to his gigs. Which is a shame. You have no clue what you're missing out on."

"Well, I **did** lead him to the music room, though."  
He pledged after rolling his eyes.

"And..?"  
Jace sighed, pulling his locker open in a faster motion and rummaging voluntarily loudly through it.

"I had to talk to him about something pretty important."   
Izzy leant on the locker beside his, crossing her arms over her chest with a frown showing more unwarranted concern than interest.

"Is something wrong?"   
He peered at her.

"No. Contrariwise, everything is exactly working as I wanted it to." In return, Izzy gave him a curious look. "I need to ask Clary out."

"Aww, so this is serious with Clary."  
She said in a teasing tone, letting her arms drop along her curved waist.

"What do you mean?"

"This is not just some hook up plan now, is it?"   
Her obvious tone had almost Jace ruffled but he couldn't disprove his reputation of player. And, he wasn't sure about his feelings for Clary but one thing he knew for sure is that love wasn't involved and their relationship-to-be wasn't going to make him the tiniest more serious about his love life.

"I don't know, yet."

"Yeah, sure. Let's wait until you guys get married and have plenty of babies-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm not having any baby, that's not in the cards."   
Izzy bit her lip in a way that Jace quickly understood she was becoming serious.

"Is that because of the parents?"   
Her voice sounded soft, soft enough to make Jace stay calm at this sudden earnest.

"Not everything revolves around them."   
But they both aptly knew everything _did _as it came to the Lightwoods. Jace loathed his parents since the day they lectured Alec and grounded him because of his sexuality that they considered as an _aberation_, exactly four years ago. But, truth is, he had never really loved them. He used to, when he was young enough to think they could bring him joy. He would have done anything to please them, to make them proud. But, they had always made clear that it was never enough. Most of their life was spent away from him. Apparently, their job was worthier than their own children's welfare.   
So, he had sworn to himself, he would never think about fathering. He heeded that his family had always been a disaster, that hence he would never be a good father either. He didn't know what it felt like to receive parents' love, how could he give his future children something which was uncommon to him?

Izzy noticed the way his eyes darkened, the way he stilled when he was done gathering his books and closed his locker. They had talked many times about their parents. But never would it be something else than a subject to avoid, a sensitive point.

"And what does Simon have to do in this?"   
She crossed her arms once again, willing to lighten up the mood by changing the subject, checking on her nail polish.

That seemed to work. Jace glided his hands in his pockets, retrieving this vivid gleam in his blue eyes, that Izzy considered as a proof that he was fine.

" If Clary and him know each other that much, like they **love** to say, then he should be able to get Clary to date me in less than a week, right?"

The Lightwood girl pouted as she pondered about the plan Jace had in mind, nodding in approvement. That was unnatural but Jace had always worked this way, after all.

"That sounds like a plan. But what does he gain back?"

Replaying the answer in his mind, Jace smirked devilishly.

"Dignity."

"Harsh."

* * *

Simon was waiting for his late best friend at the end of the class so he could drive her home like he had always done, leaning on his van in the school parking lot. They had always come to school together. In a way or another. After all, they had shared their whole lives for as long as he could remember.   
Every now and then, they considered better to stay at each other's place which wasn't a problem since half of their houses belonged to each other. Their mothers had even thought about adding a room in both their houses.

Simon was now nibbling on his nails nervously, thinking about the deadly 'contract' he had sealed with the blond football player. He couldn't let Clary know, that was one of the few rules of the deal. And God knows what would happen to him if he didn't help Jace out.   
And now he felt himself compelled to find a company to escort him to prom and maybe find something more.

Simon wasn't the confident nor the flirty type. He had dated a few people, granted, some girls and a guy he believed was the one.   
But every time, it turned wrong. And last time he dated someone, he ended up hurting her, because this relationship didn't mean as much to him as it did to her. The worst part was that he kept on seeing her on a regular basis since she was part of his band.  
He had figured she probably hated him since the day he had told her it was a simple 'fling'. He felt guilty at the highest point but also and mostly uncomfortable around her. She wouldn't even look at him in the eyes any longer, which, he knew, was understandable.  
Simon knew his problem was his limitless honesty and his clumsiness. He was awkward with his words, and dangerously blunt with everyone. The tiniest thought he'd have would end up spoken out loud with him. That wasn't exactly his fault.. Please show some compassion. Plus, he even less could control his own gestures which got him into a bunch of awkward situations Clary had to get him out of, and that he could barely even remember.

This deal wouldn't work out, Simon mused. But at least he'd give it a try. He wouldn't loose anything and, most of all, he wished to show everyone that he was actually worth enough to find someone in time.

"Wow, deep in thought, huh?"

Simon jerked up so abruptly that his glasses dropped down. _Clumsiness_.

"Oh uh, it's nothing! You're late! What were you up to?" He sputtered out at his redhead friend who didn't pay attention to his more than suspicious behaviour, while crouching to pick his fortunately intact glasses up.

"Trying to negotiate with my mother to escape from running some errands. I'm hell exhausted and I have a slew of work to do. But she doesn't seem to give up on her first bid."   
She said as she pulled the door open to toss her bag inside the yellow van before slamming it shut.

Simon opened his mouth in realisation. He had totally forgotten that he had to accompany Clary to the grocery shop. But also that he had to head to Jace's house and, even though he's a really fast guy, he definitely couldn't do both at the same time.

And then it hit him.  
Simon smashed his palm on his face. Well, innerly, or else Clary would have noticed.

Jace had kind of _ordered_ him to come around his place without even giving him the address while it was kind of obvious that Simon didn't have his number either. Why the hell would he have it?  
_Shit_.

"Earth to Simon!"   
Clary tipped her head to catch Simon's look that was lost far away from her own.   
"What is wrong, Si'?"

Simon was stuck. The first and last time he had lied to her was when he had planned her 14th birthday party without her knowing. And he foolishly let the information slip out while he was talking about his favourite Avengers. _Don't ask_.  
And now he was going to lie once more for something as stupid as the deal Jace and him had agreed on.   
He didn't know what to say, nor what to do.   
So he sort of let his bluntness do it in his stead.

"Do you have Jace's number?"

Clary's mouth instantly formed a 'O' shape, a reaction Simon didn't especially like.

"Jace's number..." She repeated in disbelief.

Simon only nodded frantically, not wanting to explain himself. Like, really not.   
A few seconds later, her mouth eventually quirked up at the corners.  
"Are you into him?"

Simon's eyes widened. He didn't expect this conversation to turn that way. Actually he didn't expect to be in such a situation at all. There had to be some dumb pretense to find, right now.

"I've been... paired up with him for some history project and I really need to call him now so we can work. Just so you don't imagine weird things." Simon lied.

Clary looked bummed when her teasing smile faded from her pink lips. Of course she would believe him. First because Simon had never genuinely lied to her but also because he would do anything as long as it involved his studies.

"You're no fun."   
She handed him her phone in which Jace's number was registered in the contacts.   
Simon tapped his number in his phone before giving her phone back.   
Then he smiled innocently, the most sincerely possible, as if it would somehow distract her from what he was going to say.

"The project's for tomorrow."

Clary sagged her shoulders, scowling at him as she had never done before.

"You didn't have history class, today. Why do you tell me that now?!"

"Because I had totally forgotten about it and now I'm so fucked up because this thing is for tomorrow and I don't even know if Jace is gonna be willing to work, I mean, you know Jace, the only thing he has to do is writing his name down on the paper and let his brother do the work in his stead, he's never gonna accept to work and even less to work with me-"

"Slow your roll, Simon. It's fine anyway."

Simon let out a short breath in relief even though Clary had no idea it was even near relief. She had bought it. He had to admit, he kind of surprised himself with his skills in lying, that he thought, were non even existent.

"Just call him now and propose him to work together or something."

Simon nodded and turned around to take a few- or too much- steps away while she got into the van. _Here goes nothing.._

**Beep beep be-**

"Who's it?"

"You seriously walked away without giving me your address?"   
Simon blurted out, as soon as Jace's condescending voice was heard, before the silence fell onto them for a few seconds, as if it took some time for Jace to acknowledge Simon's voice. And for a second there, Simon thought he had hung up.

"You seriously don't know where I live?"

"Excuse me, why on earth would I know that? It's not like I was one of your petty one-night-stands and I obviously don't go to your lousy parties."   
Simon grumped with a low voice, earning him, suprisingly, a soft chuckle from the phone. Even nice, actually. So much that he unknowingly ogled at the phone in his hand.

"Excuse me but the simple idea of me having sexual intercourse with you is quite hilarious."   
He dramatically said between smothered laughs.

"I rather call it gross."

* * *

The wind was hitting his skin, getting even stronger and intense with the van driving along in such a hastily speed. The sun was slowly ducking down the New York streets, shimmering onto his glasses as he drove down to the Upper East Side, witnessing the town center buildings shifting into even higher ones towering his little van.

Simon was stressed out. Well, that came out as an understatement. 

He had just left Clary to the shop, trying not to be too obvious about his anxiety, made a detour to his place to change his clothes, and now heading somewhere he had never been to. Every time the traffic light turned red he would nervously tap his finger on the steering wheel, biting his lip, a deep frown on his face.   
Then, as soon as it turned green, he'd rush back to his destination without thinking twice. Actually, if he allowed himself to think twice, he would probably turn back and head home because this deal with Jace was the worst idea he had ever agreed to.   
But it wasn't the time to back off.   
Jace was expecting him.   
In the house Simon eventually pulled up in front of, wanting nothing but to shrink and disappear along with his ridiculously gross van.

He got out, rubbing the dirt from his clothes in a hurry, before slamming the door shut.   
He took a deep breath and grabbed his bag, trying to brush his hair with his hand clumsily, looking his reflect on the glass of his vehicle. He was well aware he was clearly spazzing out but he couldn't help it.

_What did I get myself into? _  
The Lightwoods would, without a doubt, despise him and the goldie would probably feel ashamed for even thinking about inviting him over.  
Though, Simon tried to make an effort. He had chosen one of the shirt he had always hated, even though his mother couldn't stop praising it, slightly open in the front, a tiny detail that he couldn't help but notice and resent, but Clary told him it looked 'casually hot'. He had even styled his hair, or at least tried to, and wore new pants from a shop everyone worshipped for some reason.

He looked... _fine_. But fine wasn't enough for the Lightwoods. And this feeling of shame, the hollow delving in his stomach increased as he turned around to take a look at the residence the famous Lightwoods were living in. The view upclose was definitely something else.   
The pavement on which his van was parked was so clean that it was almost as white as the clouds brushing the top of the huge and spotless house in front of his eyes. The graven and perfectly green hedges decorated with rose petals were framing the garden sprinkled with splendid types of flowers and trees on which were blossoming white and cream purple flowers, encircling a high fountain with clear and probably drinkable blue water- well basically, the place was certainly winning in the list of perfect things Simon had seen so far in his life.

Everything was clean, fancy, posh. Basically everything uncommon to Simon. And slowly as he breathed in and out a few times, this strange feeling of dread grew in his mind, progressively, he felt vertiginous, couldn't breathe properly. He was nothing. He was a nobody.   
He _was _definitely spazzing out.   
He fidgeted with his hands, trying to adjust his glasses on his nose as much as he could.   
He was screwed. He should have never gotten involved with the Lightwoods in the first place. They are too much trouble, too much superiority, stranded in a game of power.

As Simon looked himself once again on the glass, he heard someone clear his throat behind him and froze instantly.

"Trying to look good?"

Simon tried to pull himself together, taking one more deep breath and turning around to face the reason of his problems. Jace was wearing a simple grey hoodie and visibly nothing under it and black plain sweatpants that weirdly made Simon feel better about his own attire.

"Not trying. I always look good." Simon pouted, acting with made up confidence.

"If you were planning on impressing my parents, they're not home. Actually they never are. Habits die hard."  
Simon inhaled deeply, feeling doubly relieved. Though, the weak tone in Jace's voice as he muttered the last words had Simon pretty curious. He wouldn't ask. That was Jace's private life territory, after all.

"I didn't plan on impressing your parents."   
Simon stammered weakly down his throat, and that wasn't a lie. It was desperately impossible for him to impress the Lightwoods, anyway. He just attempted to look at least presentable. Which he hardly did. 

"Well, you look... decent, I guess. But definitely not good enough if you want to pick a date before saturday."   
He said as his judgemental look roamed over Simon head to toe.

Simon just rolled his eyes and tipped back against his van.

"No wonder we've never talked to each other before."

"As for now, you should probably come in. Unless you want to stay out in the cold." The blondie taunted, passing over the last comment while entering back into the house, Simon following behind.

When he stepped in, he gulped painfully, glancing around at the diamond ceiling above them, the chandelier glowing and hanging from it. The immense designed table stood in the middle of the dining room, along with the shimmering white piano near the bay window opening on the pool in the backyard.   
Everything looked like fragile sparkling gold. It almost became a bit nerving.

No need to mention that once Jace started marching up the stairs, Simon had to inevitably trip a couple of times, albeit it seemed more than normal for both of them. 

But he managed to follow Jace to the first glass-walled floor, regardless.

They quickly crossed the uncolored room welcoming them both, to reach the other stairs leading to the second floor where Simon discovered a long corridor in which he could percept an excessively huge balcony. Not that he could see any more of it given that Jace suddenly stopped in front of a white door and pushed it open.

"Here's my room." And above the height of his bed and those expensive materials adorning the room, this place seemed out of context and rather plain.

Simon hadn't noticed how his eyes had gotten wide or how he had somewhat held his breath. But neither did Jace. And Simon was glad of it when he released a short huff. As much as the surprise and the fascination had hit him at first, Simon felt like, inside, the family's values was only the wealth they accessed to. He felt somehow sorry for that.  
He cleared his throat.

"Wow, uh... Where are your siblings?"

Jace groaned before straightening up.   
"Probably upstairs chilling or working out."

Simon eyes went wide again.

"Upstairs? Because there's another floor?!"

Jace rolled his eyes. He had never really appreciated the phoney admiration people expressed when he invited them home. He knew his family was well-off. Well, wealthy, or whatever. But as surprising as it sounds, he didn't like to show it off. He had of course thrown many parties in here because when you're rich, you might as well enjoy it. But he certainly didn't feel the need to witness all the exaggerated marveled reactions people would have everytime they made a step in.   
He hated, just as well, all the meetings he had to attend to given that he was one of the Lightwoods children, alongside the famous people he had to remember about because his parents expected him to or the way he had to talk about himself, while he was nothing but a simple high school student having rather low grades. He hated this life. It had its perks, indeed, but privacy was a rather unfamiliar principle to him.

"Whatever. What did you tell Clary?"

"That we've been partnered up and hence had a history project to work on."

"Good. If my parents show up, which would be very astonishing by the way, let's pretend to do homeworks together, now shall we?"  
He grabbed his bag and dug out some of his books to scatter onto his bed.

"Yeah, sure."   
Simon awkwardly sat on the bed at a reasonable distance from Jace who seemed to be focused on whatever he was doing on his phone.

"So. What should I know about Clary?"

Right, Clary. He was there for that, after all. Playing matchmaker for Jace. An idea that sounded ridiculous but actually, this whole situation was nothing but ridiculous.

"Well, first I know you tend to go straight to the point but if Clary finds out your intentions she'll instantly back off. So if you plan on asking her out, just make some small talk before and at least act like you're interested in her."

"I **am** interested in her."   
Jace mumbled as he kept on scrolling on his phone.

"You just want to get into her pants. I bet she's just one of your challenges."

"Hey! Mind your business. You're not here to give your opinion."

"Well, as a matter of fact, I am. Or maybe you don't need my help that much, all of a sudden..?"   
Simon was quite proud to make Jace roll his eyes. He felt like he had won the round for once. How agreeable it sounded.  
"Anyway. Clary likes outgoing and easy going people. I think she'd be interested once you try to get friends with her."

"Are you insane? I don't want to get friendzoned."

"Last time I checked, **I **am her best friend. Besides, you're _Jace Lightwood,_ right?"

His grated scowl was one pleasant thing in Simon's eyes, as well. 

"Fine. Whatever. Clary likes people beating around the bush. Noted."

For a moment, both of them dwelled silent. Simon was intensively mulling which made Jace look up at him curiously.   
Seeing that Simon was lost in his thoughts, he allowed himself to take a real look at the nerd.   
The guy seemed way too much innocent and clueless for his own sake, maybe because of those glasses always slipping down his nose or the dark strands of hair falling awkwardly onto his face. There was this purity he constantly gave off that Jace wasn't used to.

When he had first met Clary, Jace would have never figured that it would grant him some hectic situation. Every girl fell at his feet even when he had never even laid eyes on them in the first place. Except her.  
  
He suddenly felt like Simon would be of help.

"I got an idea!"   
The nerd suddenly claimed, making Jace regain his senses.   
"Clary comes every Tuesday and Wednesday at the Brooklyn academy of art. You could find a reason to go there and make you two bump into each other, _accidently_, preferably. You know, like the typical scene where soulmates haphazardly knock into each other and drop their-... Anyway, Clary loves art and especially drawing. If you act like you're interested in art too, she'll be all eyes on you. Especially if she sees you have some tastes in painting. Which I'm pretty sure you don't but I mean, that's fine I guess-"

"I can bring my baby brother, he loves drawing. What time?"

Simon's rambling though, would be one thing to keep up with...

"2pm, Tuesday and 8am, Wednesday."

Simon rehearsed like a learnt by heart lesson.

"What? No way I come every Wednesday at 8 freakin' in the morning."

"Have it your way, bro." Simon replied while shrugging.

"Don't ever call me that again."   
Simon gulped.

"Okay..?"

"Fine. 8am on Wednesdays. That's insane."  
Simon let out a furtive snort as he ducked down his head onto his lap, which startled Jace first. But he quickly rolled his eyes and went back to scrolling on whatsoever more interesting than this conversation.  
He patiently waited for Simon to go on, which the latter seemed to behold.

"Once you two grow closer, then you can ask her out on a date. Ask her about her family, she loves talking about her mother. But don't ask too much about her father. She never had the chance to know him. Though she has a step father that she loves.  
Also, as it comes to the place, you should take her to Jade Wolf. It's a chinese restaurant near the Docks. She loves it out there. And she often orders Spring rolls or Chow Mein."

"That's too many informations at the same time."

"Well, deal with it. I do my be-"

Simon's words got interrupted by the door abruptly opening.   
At the door frame was stood a tall and stately elegant woman whom the hair looked the same as Isabelle's, long and as dark as their eyes, attached in a sleek ponytail. She wore a long royal blue dress reaching her calves, emphasizing her curved waist.   
Maryse Lightwood.  
  


He dared looking into her eyes, instantly regretted it. Her look was so rugged and imposingly impressive that he had to blink several pointless times to avoid guttering, feeling stupidly defeated.   
She looked like the typical independent and modern woman which had Simon feeling embarrassed but mostly _flabbergasted_. And having one of the most famous actor in front of him was quite destabilizing.

"I didn't know we were having a guest. You might want to introduce yourself, dear?"  
Her voice sounded probably harsher than any of her stern features sculpting her flawless face, and her look rather expectant onto Simon.

"Oh, um, sorry. I'm Simon Lewis. It's nice to meet you."   
Simon cursed himself inwardly. _Where are your manners? _  
He quickly leapt up on his feet to greet the woman, holding out a hand for her to shake.

But her glare faltered between his eyes and his held hand and he quickly registered that it was better to move it away.

"I've heard about you. Maryse Lightwood, Jace's mother. But I surmise you already know who I am. You wouldn't mind joining us for dinner now, would you?"

_What? That wasn't in the deal either. Am I being scammed?_  
"Oh.. No, of course not. That... is nice of you to offer."

If Simon's heart could thump any harder in his chest he'd have already passed away, so much that he hoped his legs wouldn't give up, as her dagger look shifted on her son.   
"Jace, don't omit to pick up your brother at his friend's house tomorrow, I won't repeat it. It's nice having friends to invite over but you have to take your responsibilities as well."

"I hadn't forgotten about it, mo-"

"You better. You know how your father get. Max needs some rest before we head to Atlanta."   
With those last words, as harsh and stern as the previous, she was gone in a quick motion, making her ponytail swing as she slammed the door shut.   
Simon turned around, his eyes a bit too wide.

"Wow. Are all the Lightwoods except your sister that rude? Seems like you guys don't know anything about hand shaking, also."

Simon, as much as he resented Jace, would have taken back his words if he could have, when he saw the look of defeat on the other's face. He once again put the blame on his honesty that he couldn't quite control.   
And he'd really have to bite his tongue next time, he thought.

However, it seemed unsettling to see the golden boy whom the confidence was no longer shielding and his eyes etched with sorrow. It seemed like he had lowered his guards, his look down on the red sheets he was sat cross-legged on. He wouldn't say a word about it.

"We should at least act like we're friends in front of Clary or she might find out what we're up to."   
Jace, all of a sudden, decided to look up, regaining his composure and his confident self. Which involved completely ignoring the last events.  
"But don't get me wrong. We are **not** friends. And we'll never be."

Simon, who had started to feel an ounce of empathy for the other, quickly found himself stupidly brought back to his 'I hate you' vibes around Jace.  
He didn't care that much. At least, it kept him from getting too close to one of the Lightwoods, which proved to be rather dangerous. Especially when this one was Jace. He crossed his arms.

"That was pretty obvious, no need to mention. I don't like you anyway."

"Great. The feeling's mutual."

Staring at each other for a long moment was from far the most pointless thing they could haven done, right now. But none of them considered worthy to speak again, challenging each other with their narrowed seamlessly piercing eyes.   
Jace was the first one to speak up, eventually. Another thing Simon dubbed as a chalked up victory. 

"Whatever. Since my mother had the great idea to invite you for dinner, and we're not going to stare at each other in the mean time, what do you suggest?"

Simon let his arms fall at his sides, this stance was getting uncomfortable anyway. He should have never come here in the first place. Now, he was stuck with the guy he hated the most in the school and he had no choice but spending time with him until they'd eat dinner _together_.   
_What a nightmare_, Simon mused.

"I remember you telling me you had some issues with your homeworks. Mind if I help?"   
If nothing, Simon was actually trying to be nice. They didn't necessarily have to be rude and openly hate each other all the time. So, he might as well try to make things work out since he knew aptly that wasn't the last time they would meet.   
And from the priceless look of surprise on Jace's no longer frowning face, he visibly wasn't expecting that much kindness.

"Oh-uh... yeah sure, why not..."   
He blinked a few but sufficient times and Simon couldn't help but smile at his endlessly rolling in victories. Killing with kindness was one of the few things he knew he was good at. He hardly lost his temper and knew how to use it.   
Simon then sat back on the bed, grabbing his bag.

"So.. In which class do you fail?"   
_If not all of them_, he thought inwardly.

"Chemistry. Mr Starkweather gives me lessons every wednesday but I still suck at this subject. Last time we had a test, I got an F."

Simon widened his eyes.  
"An F??" He asked in disbelief.

"Pardon me, not everyone is a nerd around here. Some of us do have a life."   
Jace snapped.

"Yeah, indeed, must be absolutely _marvelous_, huh? Plunking your money down into golf and ephemeral stuffs all day long."  
As much as he knew his reply was a low blow, Simon was progressively getting sick of all the remarks Jace kept telling him. Basically all the remarks people kept telling him in global.  
He was initially weary of all the judgments people had on him. And he was not going to let people walk over him any longer. If it meant that he would probably make enemies then, he was willing to take the risk.

Jace scoffed bitterly, squinting his eyes.   
"Oh, sorry, what did the pansy just say?"

The choice of words faned in Simon an impending anger that he knew would burst out any moment now. His jaw, clenched as well as his hands, the physical tension was gushing.  
But little did he care that Jace was as pissed as he found himself in the moment.  
No matter if he did not live for himself but for the idea of who his parents wanted him to be. No matter if this pressure was like a heavy stone on his shoulders.   
And no matter if he had always kept calm, regardless.  
That was not something Simon would have known. Nor something he cared about, right now.

He took one dreading breath in, his eyes right into Jace's.

"I'm out."

He spat out as standing up before storming out, his bag dangling carelessly on his shoulder as he made his way out the fancy house.

Jace didn't wish for his parents to lecture him about his usual choice of friends. And he was well aware that he had... _hurt _Simon. But Simon did offend him too, after all. He wouldn't waste his time chasing after him.   
_No way._

Eventually, however grounching, he stoop up as well, dashing out in hopes of catching up Simon. It didn't last long before his family mustered in the living room peered at them both, him particularly. 

Fortunately, it didn't linger. After rushing downstairs, he was already outside, the mere light of the sun stinging his eyes, when he found Simon walking towards his van, in a more than determined way.

"Hey!"   
Jace called out, successfully making Simon stop. He probably wasn't expecting Jace to come after him, not that Jace really cared. He couldn't take the risk to rise suspicion in such a fragile family as his own.  
"Wait." He said, mildly out of puff, when taking a few steps ahead to face the nerd.

Simon was frowning, Jace was well aware, his hands into tight fists, and his eyes down, probably in a deep trance of anger. Or, relying on his dim trembling breathing, at the brink of bursting into tears. He gave Jace a quick glance before looking back down at his feet. Certainly in order to conceal the forming tears soon entangling in his eyelashes. He looked perhaps a bit bewildered, but still very much upset. If it was the word.

At least, he had stopped to hear Jace out. Even though, it took a long and hard time for Jace to utter a word after interpelllating him.   
Jace never apologised, unless it was about someone he truly cared for. For the simple reason that he didn't consider people half worth of his apologizes. So, by all means it was kind of tough to say sorry to someone he quite resented.

So he opened his mouth twice to no avail, before shaking his head in frustration, trying again, and blinking several times. It was a nice show, Simon had to admit.   
He would regret it for sure. 

"I'm sorry."   
Three single muttered words that yet hurt his ego deeply came out.

Simon rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, sighing in frustration, surprising Jace after a moment.

"No, I-uh... **I** am sorry."

The way Simon pursed his lips in anticipation, or the way he seemed overly embarrassed as he stared down his feet thumping on the ground repeatedly, had Jace smiling to himself.

And so here they were, Simon noticing soon the smile adorning Jace's unfairly _perfect _face, and the situation was ridiculous. There was no denying that it was quite funny. No one would dare to laugh, though.

"What?" He eventually asked, raising eyebrows.

"You apologized." Jace affirmed, same smile not once faltering.

"You did first."

That's how Jace's smile eventually, after an unecessarily long time, subsided, so that things could get back to their normal hatred towards each other. 

"Stay, please."

Simon raised a blank look.   
"Why?"

"My parents are gonna get mad if you leave now." He replied by the truth, licking his lips after a long moment discussing wether doing so or not.

"Okay.. That's why you came apologizing."

Simon had a point. Not that Jace would ever concede it.   
"I could have come to ask for you to come back in without apologizing."

"And you think it would have worked?"

More than apologizing, Jace hated being patient. Especially with people he didn't like. He knew for sure that he wasn't the bad guy here and that Simon had been pretty disrespectful to him too.   
And here he was, almost grovelling for Simon to come back.

"C'mon, please."

The nerd bit his lower lip as if he was actually thinking this over _(like, was it this hard to just accept?)_, his eyes skittered around the garden around him, the light of the mellow sky filling his gleaming eyes.

"Fine." Simon complied. This would be the last time he'd comply, today. 

"Still.." Jace spoke up, stopping Simon where he had started to turn around. "I don't like you."

With that, he brushed past Simon, entering back into the house leaving an irritated Simon behind.

Jace would be the death of him.

* * *

Surprisingly, the rest of the evening didn't go that bad. Simon and Jace quietly got back into the house, claiming that Simon had forgotten something into his van.   
The dusk was spreading its darkness into the fair blue sky, the sun had started to let his last beams shine before completely disappear.   
The room was left silent and quite dark. Only the bedside lamp was lightning the bed on which they were both sitting, a few chemistry books laid onto the sheets between them while Jace was scribbling some words on his notebook before striping them several times. Simon had been showing him some basics formulas and explaining him a thing or two about the changes of state, letting Jace solve some calculus. While the blondie was heavily working and reflecting, Simon was resting his chin on his palm, looking into the void, enjoying the soothing silence that had settled between them and that, as eerie as it could sound, was much better than them fighting, and the frown on Jace's face as he mulled.   
Soon enough, Jace sported a sufficiently satisfied smile as he doodled the last numbers on the sheet of paper before looking up with a wide grin at Simon.   
That was probably the first time Jace had genuinely smiled at him. It strangely felt peaceful.

"Look."   
He said before turning the workpaper upside down in front of Simon.   
Simon grabbed the paper and checked it slowly, nodding in approvment everytime he read a line. Jace peered intently at Simon's reactions with a bit of unsettling hope. They had been working for almost an hour and it was first quite a disaster. But Jace had noticed how Simon, unlike him, was someone excessively patient and how he'd slowed down everytime Jace didn't get something, which was an awfully lot of time. He hadn't done anything other than helping him out and waiting until he finished his work. (Jace might be secretly thankful and admirative of that. )

"Wow, everything's correct, you learn fast! How comes you're not some genius, yet? I thought Mr. Starkweather gave you private lessons?"   
Simon exclaimed, his eyes still planted on Jace's careful handwriting.

"Only when I feel up to it."

The blond boy let a surprising coy smile form on his face at Simon's approval. Probably out of pride.  
But despite this feeling of achievement, he couldn't help but feel nervousity embrace his heart. He could hear the cooking noises downstairs, the cutleries clicking against the pans, the water boiling, everything that would have only reminded him of how starving he was, if Simon hadn't been there. And his mind would drift to the oncoming moment they'd all have. He passionately loathed this feeling. This feeling of fear. Of vulnerability. However, he knew his mother, his father and how they would inevitably behave with Simon's presence. All the judgment in each of their words. The humiliation he could already sense and taste. He would feel ashamed until the end of his life.

Jace winced at his own train of thoughts, not long before biting his chapped bottom lip, suddenly forgetting about his surroundings or about the chemistry lessons, and rather fumbling, fiddling with the collar of his hoodie.

Simon watched the embarassment take the best of the boy sitting uptight in front of him, it didn't take much for him to notice the way he had suddenly flinched and went constricted. Although he had never been keen of him, he couldn't help but feel _worry_. Simon wasn't the type of person who would watch people suffer in silence.

He started to think that maybe someday he'd end up getting used to see Jace's different sides and not only the cheeky one.

"What is it, Jace?"

His bleary blue eyes snapped up at Simon and it felt like a jolt of electricity. The emotions written in his eyes seemed sorely meaningful and blank at the same time.

"Nothing. I'm fine." He looked down again, a sign that he was undoubtedly lying.

"Jace." Simon didn't need any other word to make Jace give way. The blond boy just kept his look down. But he spoke. What would be the point in staying quiet?

"It's just... You don't know my parents. They are... complicated."

"Complicated?"

Before Simon could say anything else, they both heard a soft knock on the door, making their head turn in the direction of the interrupting noise. Simon saw the same eyes he had seen closer at the cafeteria earlier and those wavy long black hair when the door creaked opened.   
And this breathtaking smile came back as soon as her eyes landed on Simon's.

"Isabelle."   
Simon could have sworn he saw Jace give his sister a look as he pronounced her name, nothing uncommon therein, maybe.

"What a surprise! I didn't know you guys got along." Izzy exclaimed, giving Jace a snide look back. She released her grip on the door handle and dumped herself on the bed between them, pushing the books away in the process.

"We don't." Jace and Simon both retorted in unison before openly glaring at each other. The tension between them became quickly unbearable. She propped herself up on her elbows, her gaze shifting on Jace to Simon repeatedly. But the two wouldn't stop glaring at each other. I had sure escalated pretty quickly.

"C'mon, you could make an effort, seriously."   
Izzy quickly gave up as they both scowled at her.   
"Okay fine, that is helpless anyway"   
She said as she finally straightened up.

Simon had eventually his eyes back on Jace. This guy was impossible. A few seconds ago everything was back to normal. At least the normal where they hated each other but weren't slitting each other's throat which was slightly miraculous. But if they weren't restlessly trying to kill one another, they still had to make clear that they hated each other. At least Simon knew that Jace hated him. And it was honestly enough for him to hate him back.  
Somehow, Izzy had not bothered asking what they were doing in the same room. But at the moment, that was a slight detail.

It was almost intoxicating albeit the embarassment exempted her from speaking up, anyway. But, as the good sister she was, she evidently had some tricks up her sleeves.   
"You should really stop eye fucking each other and get it over with, if you know what I mean. Just saying."

And as she had expected, both of the boys widened their eyes and gazed at her in a rather overreacted shock. And just like that, she had won. She chuckled while the boys dwelled bewildered.

"Ew."   
Jace sported a disgusted face, making Simon roll his eyes dramatically.

"Rather not."

"I just came here to say dinner's ready, anyway. So come down." Izzy drawled, blatantly face palming before hopping up off the bed and making her way back downstairs. In a second, the door was slammed close. The two boys left alone went back on glaring before Jace spoke up. At this point, if it weren't for Jace, awkward silences would be their sole interaction. 

"Way to go, nerd! For giving her wrong ideas."

"Yeah, because I'm the one to blame!"   
Simon shouted back.

"I can still hear you, morons. Get your ass down here or I'll make you!"   
They heard Izzy yell from downstairs which startled them both.

"Language, Isabelle. We've been discussing it enough time, don't you think?"

"Sure, _Maryse_."   
Maybe Simon was starting to get what Jace meant by _complicated_... And he didn't know the half of it.

After mere seconds, without saying anything, they both decided better to stand up and walk out of the bedroom. They took careful steps as they stepped down the stairs as if too much noises could disrupt the fragile silence and the calm that had finally settled among the newly peaceful family.

Jace's heart sped up progressively and he even wondered if the others could hear it bumping hard on his chest, almost harrowing. He gulped, many times. Too much times. And couldn't stop looking down. The single glance up at his parents could earn him a reproach, after all. Anything could become a flaw.

But _emotions cloud judgment_, right? And right now he could swear he was feeling what people called fear flooding him.   
That's what his parents had always taught him since he had integrated this family.   
That showing his weaknesses was being weak. That showing his emotions was being stupid.   
Thereby, he had learnt, during his growth, how to bury these feelings deep inside, just enough so he'd never show them in front of people. That is the first rule of the Lightwoods. They all respected it, wether willingly or not. They were all raised this way. Even though it wasn't the right way, Jace didn't know it. Jace didn't want to know it.   
Truth is, he was scared of being weak.

He slowly marched up to the table covered with a thin white tablecloth, and sat down with all the family, while Simon sat next to him. Jace was about to give him a look, beckoning for him to sit somewhere else, nonetheless his eyes met a comforting smile, mouthing 'it's okay'. And somehow as much as it first startled him, it _was _reassuring.

They were now all sat around the table, abiding silent. Jace reluctantly sitting in front of both his parents and his sister, awfully quietly. Simon and Alec at each side of him. The maid had put the plates in front of them, slightly bowing at his parents. But before she could waltz away, Simon sported his usual perfect smile at her and murmured a reverent thanking. Everyone instantly peered at him and had him wondering if he had done something wrong. 

As a matter of fact, as they were way too young to even remember, Jace and his siblings used to be particularly close to their maids. They tied quickly and didn't miss an opportunity to thank them for their excellent work and accuracy. But the choice of maids was renewed every year, to stop whatever bound the children were developing with them. The Lightwoods parents quickly made them understand that it wasn't the right way to treat their maids, to treat anyone hierarchically inferior for that matter. They were here to make their job and nothing else. _They shouldn't matter_, as his mother tended to say. Listening to her, nothing really mattered, actually.

Jace saw Izzy lightly addressing a warm smile at Simon.  
And not long after then, they began to eat the meals presented in front of their greedy eyes.   
Simon noticed the way the Lightwoods brought their food to their lips without making a noise, curling their fingers perfectly on the cutleries without grinding them on the plates. The way they took shallow sips of their expensive wine in their diamond glasses, and the way they seemed satisfied and hummed so slightly at the taste of it when they gulped it down noiselessly.

Simon desperately tried to do the same. To look as _perfect _as them to avoid attracting their attention, to blend into the conflicted family. But as it was said before, Simon had nothing to do with perfection.   
And he hence felt relieved as soon as Maryse cleared her throat.

"So..."   
Her intense eyes stilled on Simon for some seconds before he realized she was trying to remember his name.

"Simon."

"Right, Simon. How do you find it?"   
She inquired, gesturing to the meal he was slowly eating (although he had always tended to eat very fast).

"It's delightful, Mrs. Lightwood."   
He replied formally, nervousity at the back of his throat, his palms increasingly turning clammy, for some reason.   
He tensed even more when she made a fake chuckle sound, drying her lips with the white napkin.

"I allow you to call me Maryse, you know. I'm not that old."   
Her smile even looked like a sheer sham. But Simon did smile back.

"Right, Maryse."

"I heard you had excellent grades." Maryse continued after some time, making Simon somehow even more embarrassed than he already was. His usual pale face would probably stay red forever now. But what really bothered him was the look of apprehension on Jace's face when she openly glared at him whereas praising Simon.

"I wouldn't say I'm an excellent student. I just do my best.."   
He tried to smooth things up but Maryse just made it worse.

"And modest."   
Nodding in approvement at her husband who wasn't really paying attention.   
A slight exhalation escaped Jace's mouth as if he had been holding his breath all those last torturing seconds and Maryse's lastly soft look became harder as it fell onto him.

"Care to share your thoughts, Jace?"   
Her voice, into Simon's ears, had shifted into something dark, low, like the cawing of a crow. He parted his lips in attempt to say something, anything... but what?   
He glanced at Jace who was looking down his plate, swallowing tightly. Not bothering eating. Legit..  
"You might want to add something."

"Yeah, he's good..."

"Good?" She repeated, sniggering mockingly at his obviously awkward reply.   
"He could obviously teach you a lot. You ought to show more respect."

Simon's eyes then laid on Izzy. She wasn't eating either, her fingers were holding tightly her cutleries, so tightly that her knuckles were progressively turning white. Simon realized that the three siblings were in the same shameful state. No one willing enough to do anything about it.

"Remind me what grade you got at your last test?"

Simon thought for a moment that Maryse was getting mad,like a normal person would have been feeling in such a moment. But when he dared looking at her, he saw this slight twinkle in the hollow of her pupils and an amusement that betrayed her voice. That's when he realized that she was taking pleasure in humiliating her child. That was from far making Simon nauseate about it all. 

"I-I.."

"Besides, Simon practices music in a band. Which is absolutely admirable. You should do some activities too instead of wooing girls that are evidently not worth it."

"He's a football captain, mother-"

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."   
She cut Alec off and he quickly looked back down at his full plate while Simon widened his eyes, feeling his heartbeat dangerously fastening.   
"No wonder your parents didn't want you."  
She muttered so willingly weak that only Alec and Jace heard it.

Simon might have not heard it, but he could guess easily that it was part of a thing a mother is not supposed to her children when Alec choked as he had taken a sip of his glass of water, feeling his throat getting dry and Jace softly gasped, the icy blue of his eyes turning into deep dark blue, watery, like the depths of the ocean as he stared down, his eyes wide.

This was hardly still bearable for Simon to hold the disgust and discomfort that procured the scene he was witnessing.  
As every eyes were turned away from him, Simon decided to put his cutleries down and cleared his throat, making every eyes back on him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you. I know it is not my place here to interfere in this conversation and I also know it is no one of my business. But I do know Jace. At least, visibly more than you do. I know he's trying his best. He might not be perfect, I'll give you that. No one is. And me even less. I guess you could also be a good example of that. But it matters as much to him as it does to you. I really respect your opinion, Mrs Lightwood. And yours too, sir, even though you don't have one." Simon added, pointing to Robert. "But I think you should stop pressuring your children with your so cherished reputation. School is already a lot of pressure for all I know. I know he can do way better. Because I know he's very smarter than you think he is. But he needs time. I actually think that the one who should think this over, is you."

As he finished his sentence, he had made sure all the attnetion was back on him, maybe even too much as it wasn't exactly the gist ot it. But above the feeling of his heart throbbing in his ears, he felt surprisingly confident, especially when his eyes landed on Izzy who was widely smiling at him, following with Alec who had this look he had never gotten to see before and that surely wasn't a smile, but it certainly wasn't the blank look he was used to.   
Although, not confident enough to look at Jace. He probably hated him now. And there, he thought it was his cue to leave.

"Now, if you'll excuse me." He said as he stood up and pushed the chair in the most polite way he could have, grabbed his bag and headed out.

He followed the pace of his heartbeat, or not exactly since it was pretty erratic. Nevertheless, he basically lunged out, and as soon as he crossed the exit door, exhaled sharply, instantly bathed in the moonlight. He looked up, saw the stars always twinkle above him, felt the fresh waft ruffle his hair, making them back to the way they were before he had come. Getting out of there was a sensation of feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders.   
He took in some breaths, as if it was the first time he had breathed in a while. And then he looked ahead, felt suddenly content to see his old van again.   
He thought it was over. That he was off the hook. That he wouldn't see the Lightwoods ever again. For a moment there, he had forgotten about the _deal_, he thought his life would be back to normal.

And, just as he took a step forth, feeling so light, he heard the door open behind him. Making his previous thoughts chip into ashes.

He stopped walking. Though he didn't turn back. He thought maybe if he didn't move, nothing would happen. But after the only noise he heard was the not so light wind blowing and sneaking through the blossoming branches for a few more seconds, he felt a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around.

And he saw eyes, in which the moon was reflecting its light. Blue eyes, so slightly watery, just enough for them to look _perfect_. Again. And a sadness written in them.   
Jace wasn't expressive. But if Simon looked right into his eyes, he could see a flicker of his emotions in them.

"I'm so sorry... You shouldn't have witnessed that."   
That was sincere. Maybe too sincere from Jace. But, maybe he didn't hate him any longer, after all.  
"I..."

Simon knew how Jace struggled to emote. But he didn't feel like talking. So he stayed still, waiting patiently for Jace to outweigh his emotions and find his way out of this overwhelming predicament. This must be hard, Simon mused, to outlive that every single night.

"I didn't expect you to, you know, stand up for me back there. Nobody... has ever done that. Except my siblings of course but it's... it's different. So..."

Simon still didn't find his voice. He simply nodded.

"Thank you."   
Jace finally managed to say after a slew of seconds in which Simon heard his steady breathing. He caught himself liking the sound of it, by the way. Just as much as the sound of his voice.

Which made him suddenly find his own back.  
"You've been apologizing twice today, don't you think it's too much?"   
In a way, it seemed to have dwindled the unbearable sorrow spearing Jace.   
"You shouldn't thank me for that. It's supposed to be normal. I just couldn't stand by."

Jace was the one who kept silent this time, so Simon continued.

"Their opinion about you doesn't matter. You know that you're not who they want you to be. And you'll never be."   
At those words, Jace could only bow his head lower, feeling a gust of shame surge in his him.   
"And it's better this way."

But he was surprised by those following ones. He raised his look, even, revealing the tear that had started streaming down his cheek, gleaming like a star. And Simon felt bad. Really bad. He couldn't help but wipe it away with his thumb, a plain soft touch on his cheekbone, that however flustered Jace even more, before moving his hand away quickly, watching the confusion on the blond's face.

"Just stay the way you are."

And with that, he was gone, in the dark. Driving the way home. Getting farther, the lights of his van slowly subsiding in the night. And Jace stood there and wondered about what had just happened. And his thoughts flied in the wind, away with Simon. So when he felt the cold eventually reach his bones, he left those thoughts behind. And got back into home.


	2. Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, basically, Clary and Jace meet. They agree on a date, and Jace's supposed to help Simon with his... fashion style?

**1.00pm**

The next day was Tuesday. Which means that he had four days before the ball prom would wreck his uneventful lifestyle streak. Simon didn't know if the deal was still on, though. He didn't know how to explain how everything seemed so confusing in his head. He hadn't talked to Jace eversince, not that he was _supposed _to, but his heart was still pounding as fast as it did the last day.   
And his head was aching from the inevitable lack of sleep it had caused him.

The sun had now settled in the middle of the sky, spreading its intense scorching beams on the streets. Showing the middle of the day, and inter alia Simon's favourite part of it. 

He was sitting comfortably on a bench with his best friend, raving about unsubtential stuffs, which was perfect since Simon was pretty good at raving and an expert with unsubtential stuffs. The sun was hitting his skin in a supposedly agreeable way, and they were both enjoying the perfect weather, despite the occasional yelling from people unecessarily discussing loud in the streets.

"Unfortunately, she didn't mention you. Like... at all."   
Clary said mouthful as they had decided to have lunch outside of the school, a way to shun any interaction with those who were judgemental, (and the world would honestly be a better world without those, Simon thought). Just in their favourite park near their houses, sprawled out on their usual wooden bench and eating pizza.

Once Simon took a last bite of his slice, he slouched back on the seat and brought his hands to the back of his neck, in an impressive easiness he could only let emerge once beside Clary. 

"You should really stop trying to set me up with some non consenting people. Didn't the Jordan date put you off enough? I'm meant to be alone, Clary. And I've completely come to terms with it! You should consider doing as well, someday."

Simon attempted to go over the day Clary had come across some guy whose name was Jordan. They had just hit it off and quickly got into some serious friendship.  
Simon had gotten slightly bothered at first, just until he'd seen his face. He _was _cute.  
But Simon should have known better than to let it slip in a conversation with his best friend.   
Because this stupid idea had popped up in her mind and she decided to drag Simon into a no-choice-than-to-do-it date with the guy. Turned out he had expectedly made a fool of himself and spilled his drink onto Jordan's shirt. The guy got weirded out and told Clary that it was the worst date he'd ever had. No one would blame him for thinking so. Especially Simon. After then, Clary had never seen him again.

"It wasn't your fault. Jordan didn't want it to go further because you didn't really seem into the idea, that's it. And for the record, the guy found you cute."  
Clary retorted, chugging up her soda leftovers between two sentences, squeezing the braces of her oversized overalls.

"And probably stupid."

As soon as he finished his sentence, Simon's phone chimed, alerting them both, if not Clary even more, because before he could do anything about it, she instantly grabbed it in his stead.

"Hey!"

"What? Are you hiding something from me, Lewis?"   
She teased him, one goofy smile forming smooth dimples on her pale cheeks that, if Jace wasn't behind that text message, wouldn't have bothered Simon the least. But he was. So, when she held tightly his phone into her hands, moving it the most away possible from his grip so he couldn't snatch it back, Simon groaned. Especially when they both inevitably saw the name of the one who sent the message, written on the screen of his phone.

Clary's smile grew even bigger as she raised an eyebrow at Simon who had given up on trying to get his phone back. He was outed, anyway. 

"Who's 'Annoying Lightwood', now?"

"No one."   
He was pretty sure Clary had at least one tiny idea of who was 'Annoying Lightwood' given that **she **gave him his number in the first place. Jace was outed as well, at the end.  
"Fine. It's Jace."

If her eyes could go wider, they would have, probably. But they'd reached their maximum of overdone shock.   
She gave him his phone back and he didn't even bother opening the message in front of her. Maybe thus, at least, their conversation wouldn't end up outed alongside. He just took a sip of his drink, quietly hoping that she wouldn't talk about it. Of course she would.

"Jace Lightwood, huh?"   
Simon rolled his eyes infuriatingly. This couldn't get any worse now, could it?   
"I knew from the time you two snuck out of the cafeteria that something was up!"

Simon innerly started to freak out. _Why the hell-_

"No, no! That is not what it looks like, okay? First, he's straight and secondly, we're just friends."

Simon techically didn't _need_ to mention Jace's sexuality. It's not like they'd become a thing if Jace wasn't as straight as his ruler. 

"Oh.. you mean... like friends with benefits?" 

Simon widened his eyes. He should have paid attention, maybe he'd have anticipated it and swerved dropping his so precious slice of pizza on the cruel floor.   
"Clary!"

Clary giggled stupidly for a few seconds, and probably more, Simon rolling his eyes at her, tears almost welling up at the sight of his pizza...  
"Sorry, Simon, but I know you better than anyone and.. let's say that Jace is not the type of guy you'd be friends with."   
She added in a more serious way.

"Oh, so he's the type of guy I'd have sex with?!"   
She pouted.   
"Just kill me now."

"C'mon, it'd be pretty hot.. Plus, he's a good catch!"

"Okay, so, if he's that much of a good catch then why don't **you** pick him?"

Clary opened her mouth wide, although, pleasingly, no word came out of it. Instead, she looked away from him a couple of times trying to figure out what she could possibly answer to Simon's genius question. The last time Simon had felt this proud, if he tried to replay it in his mind, was just as old as his van. 

"It's not like I _really_ knew him."

"Then, maybe you should try to get to."

"Okay, fine, you win. Even though I don't even know what game you're playing, in fact."   
Simon was satisfied by the end of this conversation as he drank slowly his beverage, he could finally focus back on making out what shapes were the clouds forming above them. But again, that remained what he **thought** was the end of the conversation.  
"Besides, there is the cutie from the English class."

_Damn_. Simon tried hard not to show the disappointment on his face, not to forget his surprise. If Clary was developing a crush, no matter who was involved, she'd have told him.

"Who's it?" He asked casually, taking a sip to conceal this stark appprehension obvious on his face.

"You know, Sebastian Verlac." She said with a wicked smile on her face. And _jeez_, Simon did know Sebastian, and of all people it had to be him. The perfect, intelligent and compassionate Sebastian... Exactly Clary's type, if you think about it.   
Simon had to think of something to come up with if he didn't want the deal to be a complete failure. Which it had already started to be. He bit his lip.

"Well, too bad he's taken."   
He blurted out, bad move but best option right in the moment. He almost praised himself for it. Though, he hated with all his guts lying to her and hated even more the look of bummer flash on her face. It took every ounce of his will to withstand the urge to tell her the truth. She'd always had that effect on him. 

"Oh. I.. didn't know. Who's the lucky one?"

He would definitely regret it. As a matter of fact, he already did.  
"Izzy."

"Izzy as in... Isabelle Lightwood?"  
Simon nodded frantically in response.  
"Well, I guess he's really out of my league then.."  
It felt as new as wrong to expose his supposedly friends this way. Even though Isabelle and him were hardly what he considered friends. But still. He'd figure it out. He always did. 

"C'mon, you know you can find much better."  
He paused for a moment.  
"I actually think Jace's middle name is 'much better'.."

"What's with Jace, again?"  
Simon laughed drastically, not wishing at all to answer that. He wouldn't have time to even if he wanted, he noted when he checked the hour on his phone. All this 'drama' had sped up the time and drained his energy, and even deprived him from his last bite of pizza. 

"You should probably head to the academy unless you wanna be late." He stated, stretching out and yawning wearily. He had become Clary's talkative human version alarm clock over time. 

"Trynna get rid of me, Simon? I won't forget about this little crush of yours."

"I don't have a freaking crush on Jace Lightwood!"

"Who said I was talking about Jace?"   
Getting up on her feet, she picked up some of her waste and tossed it in the trash can in her usual easiness at doing things Simon couldn't without being clumsy. She rubbed her attire with her palms, getting rid of the mere dust on it. She was wearing that old overalls that she put on when she was heading to the art academy so she wouldn't stain her usual outfits. Her mother had bought it when they were in 9th grade, Simon remembered. He knew its importance in Clary's eyes. And it was inevitably endearing. Her fair green eyes fell onto Simon before she winked at him.  
"You said it."

With those three words she grabbed her backpack and slung it on her shoulder, blowing a kiss to Simon before making her way to the center of Brooklyn, leaving Simon on his own.   
As he stared at her distant slihouette against the sunrise, he picked his phone and finally took a look at the message 'Annoying Lightwood' had sent him.

**From : Annoying Lightwood **  
**[**I'm at the academy. Need ur help.**]**

He raised an eyebrow at the message, finding somehow very appealing that Jace _needed _him to get through his first encounter with his future date.  
He smirked lightly and typed back.

Jace seemed pretty serious about it all.   
He was leant against the wall of the hall, a huge room, where the voices echoed when random people scuffed by. He quietly waited for his little brother to present his works to the jury, not knowing what to do with himself in a place he'd surprisingly never been to.  
His breath was steady, though, his mind clear and lit up, he didn't feel the tiniest nervous about meeting Clary. Just like he'd never felt nervous meeting any of his unnumbered previous dates. His eyes fell onto the wooden and glassed walls around him, the artwork drawn on the canvasses, probably as numerous as his unnumbered previous dates... 

He raked over the waves of a fierce blue sea spattering its water, getting white at the edge of each waves, doodled on a canvas, the black and white scribblings forming long and straight buildings in front of a burning sunset. Every time he laid his eyes on an artwork, he could almost hear the sounds emanate from it.   
_Would coming here at 8am on a wednesday be that bad?.._

But the beauty of those works of art were nothing compared to the blazing ginger hair flaming in the bright sunbeams, crossing the entrance doors and those dull pale eyes that he was sure he'd know perfectly before the end of the day.   
Jace stopped gawking as soon as he realized he was openly staring and that he must be looking a bit like some creep. He cleared his throat and pretended to be heading out of the building, his look straight focused on the screen of his phone pressed tightly between his fingers, where his attention snapped briefly to the reply he had received.  
**From : Nerd **  
**[**Looks like ur harrowing beauty is unsufficiently proving itself;)**]**

With a blink of an eye, Jace found himself swept away, expectedly knocked against someone in front of him. Restraining the smile threatening to form on his face, he blinked once before rising his look to see a tall black haired woman clad in an extravagant red dress, adjusting the red glasses on her nose, a few odd drawing books spread out on the floor right beside her high heels shoes, basically everything but what he wanted to see.  
_Damn_.  
Realizing he had bumped into the wrong person, he quickly crouched down to scoop the few devices he had made fall.

Well, that was humiliating.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"   
He sputtered, progressively losing his temper like he never did, while the woman stood still, not moving a finger. _That _was nerving.  
Jace handed her the books, pursing his lips in embarrassment when the woman didn't take them. Her deep grey eyes bore through Jace's. As much as his look seemed unimpressed, and don't get me wrong, he _was _unimpressed, hers looked etched with constraint.

"You really think I'm buying your pathetic apologies?"

_And here it comes..._

Jace squinted. Albeit he was not exactly what you could call surprised.

Before Jace could do or say anything, he felt someone interrupt the tension between them, and a tight grip onto his wrist as if to hold him back. It's not like he was going to hit the woman. He had creeds. But he was _pissed_.

"Look, he didn't mean to bump into you. Just accept his apologies and move on, shall you?" A mellow voice sang next to the golden boy, luring his eyes to the source of its melody.

The bothersome woman laid her eyes onto the small redhead girl while Jace did as well. She then, after some time assessing her, snatched off her books from Jace's solid grip and buzzed off (and honestly it was about time), clicking her sharp heels onto the floor without saying a word.

Clary sighed in relief. Jace did too. 

"Well, that was close. We wouldn't want to make a fuss at the academy now."   
She stated, sweetly sniggering as they both looked at the woman fortunately disappearing in the corridors. Jace relished the sound of her voice into his ears like the taste of sugar.

Even though the plan didn't exactly go as expected, after all, Jace was still standing in front of Clary, his hands shoved with some aspect of discomfort into the pockets of his letterman jacket. He let his eyes flicker to the girl in front of him. Let it skid down her sharp jaw line to her thin lips, along her long and curved eyelashes flapping as she blinked. She blinked. _Oh, jeez, he'd forgotten to speak._

"She was quite something. But thank you for helping me out."   
Jace sported his best flirtatious smile, his voice once eventually revealed, sounding like silk.

"Yeah, um, it's okay.." She awkwardly replied, awkwardly again for some reason, gliding her hands into her back pockets.   
"We've never been properly acquainted."

"But I know who you are, Clary Fairchild."   
Jace could get used to this shy smirk of hers.   
"I assume you practice here. I've heard you had a gift for drawing."

Jace smiled as soon as the girl beamed, and, not that the sight wasn't cute or anything, but Jace was definitely more focused on his almost foretold victory.

"Well, I think I do just fine."

Jace could almost feel her urge to show him what she's able to do. And maybe especially because he had the details of Simon's advices replay in his head.

"Stop teasing me and show me already."   
At the very moment his raspy voice spoke up, Clary's smile deepened.   
She wasn't the type of person who would feel at ease with exposing her projects, which she was yet passionate of. 

But she nodded before spinning on her heels and led the way to a secluded wooden room, a strong perfume of paint filling the air.

"Follow me." Had she said with a satisfied expression on her face.

**From : Nerd**  
**[**Compare her work with the ones in the main hall. You'll easily find the difference. Have you ever taken a speech?**]**

Their steps sounded hefty on the flooring, and only their breaths were audible through the quiet and dark room. The curtains covering the windows kept them from the sunlight. Clary pulled them off, and a steam of dust seemed to disengage from them.   
Jace could see those dust getting bright like gold by the sunbeams, soaring and flickering like flakes on a winter morning, all around him. And then, as the girl with flaming hair pulled the tissue off one of the multiple canvas in the room, those dust scattered in the air. But his eyes fell onto the revealed canvas. He took a step closer, his gleaming eyes squinted by so much light. He didn't pay attention to the way the girl kept her eyes onto him. What kept his attention was the darkness encrusted in the fabric of the canvas. The paint spreading its blackness through the white page. Jace could swear he saw those trails of black paint reach the edges of the page, almost spreading out to the reality, breaking the limits that were the edges of the canvas.  
And the more he kept his eyes on this sort of creature, the more he could feel the life seeping out of it, or death, he couldn't make out, the more he could finally percept some colors. Like the crimson red of two eyes in this darkness. He could finally percept the inhuman shapes of it. The claws piercing and crackling the floor under it, the viscous and viscid substance of its thick skin. Jace couldn't take his eyes off the drawing. He felt like willingly paralyzed. It was granted fascinating.   
The demon on the white background had looked like a futile black stain on the pure tissue of the canvas, a few steps away. However, it had shapes, shapes of a demon. A skull, members, claws, even fangs. A simple thorough look at the painting and you could see it.

"I had a few dreams of those. It keeps haunting my mind. I don't know what it means. I know it doesn't make sense. Everyone keeps telling me that it has nothing to do with regular art, that it looks creepy and-"

"Yes it does." Jace cut her off, finally stalling his eyes off the creature.

Clary looked bemused as she followed Jace with her eyes when he started pulling off the tissues covering the other canvasses, revealing bright colours lightning the room.

"You know what I saw back at the hall?" His low voice echoed in the girl's ears.

"Well, some other paintings, I surmise."

"I saw a slew of coloured and insignificant paintings, more specifically. Beautiful, don't get me wrong. Just like these ones. But they were all about the sea, the sunset, the town. Things that we all get to see everyday. Things that we all have the chance to know, that hence aren't as hard painting."

He trailed his fingers onto the fabric of the pages in the room, along the curves of a self portrait, along the waves of a vast ocean.

"Things that we dream of, wether asleep or not. The kind of beauty that we seek after we know its existence."  
He then stopped in front of the demon's painting.   
"But this, is not part of it."   
His eyes flickered onto Clary, shaking his head.  
"This lacks of color and is full of... eerie melancholy. This is not even close to the sea, the sunset or the town. This is not what we get to see everyday and probably not what we dream of, because **you **dreamed of it. This is yours."

He started pacing around the room back again.  
"The principal aim of art is to share, right?"  
Clary nodded.  
"If that is something that only belongs to you, whereas the sea, the sunset, the town or even the waterfall comes from reality, then **that **is art. You reproduced exactly what you saw in your dreams as cryptic and evasive as they are. So that we all get to see a piece of your depth and dreams. In every details.  
So yes, it is not exactly what we call charming and pleasing for the eyes, but it gives off and induces a lot of emotions. My knowledge in art might be shallow and limited. But Clary, this is awesome."

Jace had always been good at taking speeches. He had to admit that her work was something more than everything he had seen before.   
But he saw the look of surprise on his target's face and he knew by those parted lips and those wide eyes that he had gained her heart. At least, that's what he thought.

"No one had ever said something like that to me. I.. I really appreciate. Thank you."

* * *

_"That went absolutely well. I'd even say I was great back there."_

"Don't get too excited, though. That was just the first time you guys had an actual conversation."  
Simon stepped out of school, crossing the gate to make his way to the parking lot.

"_That might have been the first time but I still gained a date."_  
Simon's jaw dropped.

"What? Already??"

"_Well, I didn't call it a date but she agreed to meet me. Told you I was a real Lightwood."_

"I hope you invited her to Jade Wolf."

_"Of course, I'm not dumb. I followed your advices."_

Given the way his voice sounded _melodious _on the phone, Simon could say Jace was in a good mood, he wouldn't complain, that kind of things don't happen twice. But still...

It was only Tuesday and he had already managed to garner a date with his significant one. Soon, he would go to prom arms linked with Clary's, and Simon still didn't even know who he was going with. Or if he was going at all.

"You still haven't helped me." Simon noted.

_"Yeah, about that, look on your right." _  
Jace said before hanging up.  
Simon turned his head to the right to see Jace leaning against his red shimmering Porsche, clad in his usual black leather jacket that was starting to become boring to Simon. He beckoned at Simon to come, which Simon did almost begrudgingly.

"I'm not getting into that."   
He gestured to the car behind Jace as soon as he was in front of the football captain. And it had nothing to do with Jace's way of flaunting that had Simon almost worked up. Not at all. 

"What? You don't like my car?"   
Jace inquired, with that same smirk that Simon would very much like to rip off his _pretty _face.   
Simon threw him an unimpressed glare.  
"Very well then. Suit yourself. Too bad I was trying to help you."   
He then said before turning back and deflecting his car to get on the driver seat.

If Jace was truly willing to help him, Simon couldn't miss the opportunity. He had accepted the deal, after all. Was a foolish caprice going to make everything fall through? Wrong question, of course it would have as it comes to Simon but not this time. 

"Fine."   
He hissed before Jace got to enter his car.   
"You better not mention it."

"I like it better." Jace sneered before finally slipping into his seat, Simon doing as well.   
He clipped his seatbelt as soon as he got into the car. It smelled new and even though it was hard to admit, his seat was as comfortable as it was supposed to be. And _hell_, it made it even worse.

"Where are we going?" Simon asked uneasily.

"To the mall. You know... to fix this."   
Jace said, looking him up and down, forcing a weary sigh out of Simon's mouth as he shook his head. If nothing that was just becoming wearing out. 

"I hate you."

"The hell you do."   
In a quick motion, Jace started the car and drove away, having Simon almost bumping his head onto the back of his seat.

* * *

Jace and Simon found themselves at the feet of a huge glass walled building Jace headed into, Simon eventually following him, trying to catch his unnaturally hurried pace.   
Simon didn't go to the mall in normal circumstances. Clary along with his sister used to drag him out to go shopping in small shops, and if they didn't, he would probably be loitering in PJ's in the streets. But he wasn't used to _this_.   
Jace walked by the stairs to go up to the first floor while Simon kept following him behind. He felt like he had been doing that an awfully lot of time, lately.   
As Simon threw glances around the people crowding his surroundings, Jace abruptly, again, stopped in front of a huge shop, making Simon, again, bump into him.

"Hey! You really need to stop doing that!"

"See that?"   
Jace said, gesturing to the shop.  
"This is the beginning of your new life."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Let's get it over with, shall we?"

Jace smirked, approaching an open window inside the shop.  
"Okay. First..."   
When Simon was close enough due to the small gesture Jace had addressed him, because he obviously wouldn't stand that close out of freewill, Jace closed the distance to put his fingers onto the branches of Simon's glasses, slightly grazing his skin to remove them, pratically gentle.

"What are you doing?" Simon inquired, feeling kind of mistrustful, not only at the gentleness.

"What crappy glasses!" Jace stated as he scanned them intently in the light of the twilit sky.   
As Simon scrunched his eyebrows, Jace suddenly threw the glasses out the window.

"My glasses! What the fuck? What's gotten into you?! I can't see a thing without them."

Jace handed him a small blue box before he could keep on freaking out, with this uncough smirk still playing on his lips. More than wearing out. 

"What is that?" Simon inquired more quietly, knowing that Jace wouldn't answer him, as his fingers tried to open it without tearing the box apart. He eventually opened it, failing to avoid tearing it, which made him, after thoroughly making out if he was still very awake or not, widen his eyes.  
"You... you bought me eye contacts?.."

"I know, right? I'm such a good person."   
Jace sucked up his own ego... Not very impressive anymore.  
"Now, stay here."

Simon did as said, with the box of eye contacts into his hands. He let his eyes browser the shop, peering at all the luxurious attires he knew he couldn't afford himself to offer. This not so loud slow melody echoing even outside the shop, chiming into Simon's ears. He started to bear it.   
But staying here was getting heavily boring, and for some reason, Jace was taking a particularly long time.   
So, lighthearted, he allowed himself to ramble through the different sections of the shop. Letting his fingertips brush the fabric of the clothes all around him. The colors mingling under his hands.

He caught a glimpse of a mirror hidden behind a shelf of clothes and watched himself for what he considered enough time.   
Was the appearance everything people could see in him? Was _that_ the only thing that mattered in people's eyes?

"What do you not understand in 'stay here'?"   
He heard the familiar voice behind him and turned around to make his most innocent face at Jace who handed him a stack of clothing, pointing to the fitting room right at the other side.

"Put the eye contacts on. And do not ever wear glasses again."   
He didn't say any other word and left once again, taking a look at the other outfits around them.   
_What? Is this stack not enough?_ Simon mused.  
With this thought, he went to the fitting room while Jace let his thoughts wander.

He seriously didn't think that changing his type of clothing would have any aftermath on his reputation. Simon wasn't ugly, granted, but he was still nerdy and very clumsy. Getting Clary would be no such deal for him. But finding someone for Simon would be, for sure.

Simon pushed the curtain away, tugging on the black long sleeves tee he had slipped on, too tight for his taste. Jace glanced at him, which had him raising his eyebrows. He didn't think it would suit him that much. Or that it would suit him at all. Helping Simon was kind of a breakthrough, he thought.

"It just... doesn't look like me."   
Simon sputtered, still tugging on his tee.

Jace rolled his eyes in despair.   
"Actually, that's the point."

Those words first stang his heart, as much as they sounded true, letting a fleeting feeling of sharp pain in his chest. Of course, it was the point. Simon Lewis wasn't good enough to be himself, anyway. Jace was right.

His look fell down on his feet, for some reason, he stopped tugging on his tee.   
"Yeah, obviously." His words didn't come out bitterly. And got Jace mentally slapping himself. He had still not grown to care about the man and didn't plan to. If it was somehow possible anyway. Regardless, Simon had always looked uneasy with himself, and Jace had easily noticed it. Why did he have to make such a comment?

"Fine. Put that on."   
Jace eventually said after thoroughly breathing out, throwing a denim designed shirt at Simon.

Simon frowned.  
"But.. it's mine." He noted. Which Jace only answered by nodding at him, seeing Simon foolishly hesitate.

"Onto the shirt."   
So Simon halfheartedly slipped into his blue shirt, before slowly doing the buttons.

"Don't fasten it, you idiot."   
Jace had gotten closer to Simon to undo the buttons he had started to clip, and adjust his collar, his hands at the back of Simon's neck, their faces let lethally a few inches apart while Jace's mind was too focused on his task to care about the proximity. And even though Simon didn't mean to, he couldn't help but notice the way Jace's searing breath hit his face skin and the warmth from his presence suddenly shifting away. He gave a light push on Simon's chest with his fist to make himself back off and take a look at the outfit.

"I guess we're good. Next." He said, tilting his head to indicate the fitting room.

After a few minutes of tapping impatiently his foot on the floor, wandering why the hell Simon was taking so long, Simon finally presented himself in front of Jace, wearing a royal blue jersey jacket framing his broad shoulders over a burgundy simple tee, thin enough to see his muscled chest, tight black pants shaping his long legs.

Just in a fraction of second, Jace inwardly took back what he had thought. It was hard not to stare. It was a simple tiny changing, that almost made Simon unrecognizable. Jace's pupils had strangely dilated, his lips were parted, not that either of them would notice it.   
He let his lips curve at the sides.

"Now, now, Lewis. Not bad."   
Simon felt himself going red by the seconds, flaming even, his cheeks getting warmer by the way the blondie let himself openly stare at him head to toe. This time it didn't look judgmental. This time, he could swear, Jace was biting his lower lip while his look became more intense and lingered on his chest.

He cleared his throat to soothe the tension.   
"Oh, you think so? I mean, that may be too much, you know.."

"No-I mean, you... you look fine. More than fine."   
Jace eventually stuttered, clearing his throat in turn. But his eyes were elsewhere, everywhere but on Simon. Seeing him uneasy and stuttering was the weirdest thing Simon had witnessed so far.  
"Just.."   
Jace got suddenly closer to the nerd, and this time, the tension intensified. Simon knew at this exact moment that Jace could feel it too. By the way he pursed his lips, the way his movements were wavering as he skimmed his fingers in Simon's messy hair, removing the lock hanging onto his face, his fingertips so slightly grazing his scalp, making him shiver.  
He had forced himself not to look right into Jace's colored eyes, ended up doing it reagardless, and at that moment he realized how close they were, he also realized he had never seen his eyes up close. In a way too short amount of time, he could see the icy blue of his eyes, inspiring snow melting in the sun, raw ice where beads of water streamed one by one... As well as this deep dark brown stain into the left one, spreading its dark color into the bright of his ocean eye, focused on Simon's silky and warm strands of hair. 

"Wow..."

A vague smile flickered on his lips, those eyes descended lower, locking with his, forcing them both to pull back after a single second pointlessly staring into each other's eyes.

Simon awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck while Jace cleared his throat, once again. The strain had whittled away, but it had also left a discomfort filling both of them.   
"I think we're done."

"Jace, I don't think I can allow myself to-"

"My treat. You'll thank me later."  
With that, he stormed out.

* * *

**To: Clary**  
**[**Tomorrow, 4pm?**]**

After slipping into some random sweat pants, he pressed the button on his phone to send the message he had been pondering over for way too much time. He then put it down on the white smooth sink in front of him, before leaning his arms onto it, watching his blurry reflect in the mirror.

It happened every now and then, that Jace stood there in the bathroom, while the hazy steam blinded him, and planted his eyes into the same mirror he knew by heart that faced him, and wondered who he really was. What his genuine surname was. Who he was at the time he was an innocent child, back when he could barely properly write his name down.   
What would have changed if he hadn't lost his parents this night? Would is life be any easier to undergo?   
Why did his new parents refuse to tell anything about his identity, his origins? It was however a part of him that he couldn't simply forget.

His eyes faltered between his golden hair and his blue odd eyes. Nothing related to the Lightwoods. No raven hair, no deep dark eyes.

He wondered if the others could see that he was different. He had seen many times the pity in the others' gaze as they peered at him. It had disgusted him.  
He hated particularly this feeling of weakness.   
It had always been his worst nightmare.

Sometimes, this night haunted his brief dreams. The burning feeling of those stifling flames around him, those screeches, this voice he didn't acknowledge any longer, screaming for help, this crashing pain all over his body consuming him. At first, he thought it was a simple nightmare, a particularly repetitive nightmare, but then he had realized that it was something else. Something _more_.   
And he had wished he could turn back time, one too many times.

And today, once again, he imagined himself in another family, he imagined himself being someone else, a random child cherished by his parents. In another country maybe, who knows? Maybe with what he could call genuine friends. Friends that he could actually consider as trustworthy.

Because in this reality he had no true friends, no true parents, no true family.   
His life was a sham, based on lies and too many hidden truths.  
He evidently loved his siblings. His _fake_ siblings. But he had once wondered if they loved him back.  
They had always been there for him, each time, he didn't doubt it, but what if they secretly considered him as a burden? As a heavy responsibilty?  
What if he was a sort of chain keeping them from the love they were supposed to receive from their parents?

Maybe this life wasn't worth living. The real Jace was just a dead spirit deep inside this new one. The one the Lightwoods had patterned.

"Jace?"   
The so called Jace snapped his head up to the mirror, as he heard the soft familiar voice ring in his back.   
He managed to percept his brother's silhouette's reflection in the mirror through the mist, the imperceptible water beads covering the glass.   
"Is everything alright? You've been locked in here for a while."  
The concern in his voice was blatant. At least for Jace. He knew this tone very well as his siblings used to be excessively but necessarily protective.

He eventually allowed himself to turn around, slowly, finding himself facing his tall brother.  
The words, however, were stuck in his throat and didn't seem to reach his tongue because of the grating fear in his heart enhancing the shakiness of his fingers.

"Do you..."   
Jace trailed off as the shakiness reached his whole body, unapparent, but slowly becoming unbearable. He had never dared to talk to his siblings about anything of that matter. Would it come out, one day?

"What is it, Jace?" Alec asked in a soft way, way too soft, gingerly taking a step closer to his blond brother.  
He had to be patient before Jace would break the silence and utter a word. Not that it was a problem. Alec had always been patient.

"Am I a burden to you?"

His voice was so weak and dimly quivering that he had to prevent himself from jerking when Alec gasped.

"What?"

"Am I a burden to you?"   
Jace repeated, emphasizing each word. Saying it out loud had made it easier.  
"I am not like you. I have nothing to do here. I don't deserve your wealth, nor your last name. I was born from a low rank family whom I don't even know the last name. What happened yesterday... it only happens because of me.   
Because after all, Maryse's right. My true parents wouldn't be proud of me. And they're dead."

Alec kept silent so he could regain the composure he had lost hearing his brother speak. His breath had become unsteady. He had always been scared to have this conversation, even though he knew it would come.   
And he had to be strong when Jace couldn't. He had promised to protect him just as Jace did. He would never forgive himself if he let Jace think this way.

"What has she done to you?"   
He whispered, walking closer to his brother.   
"Maryse is your mother. Just as she is mine, Izzy's and Max's. She might not be the best mother, actually she's not far from being the worst. But she is your mother. Because we are all your family. And if you really think that you're not part of this family, then we are all not either."

He stopped when he was only a foot apart from a silent Jace.   
"I am nothing without you. And you know that. We might have not been born by the same person but we grew up together. We have each other's backs. You're the closest thing to a brother to me."  
Alec took a breath that was supposed to calm himself down as he sighted tears forming in his brother's eyes.  
"Remember those guys who tried to rob us at the park when we were fourteen?"   
Jace slightly nodded.  
"They were at least two times older than us, but you didn't back off, you came between us and the guys and you told them to scram. Of course they didn't. But you had courage enough to defend us. And this courage gave you the strength to punch them both in the nose and I doubt they will ever be able to breathe properly after that.   
It's said that the Lightwoods punch in the nose and accept the consequences. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Even though you act like you're heartless, we both know that you'd sacrifice your life if someone else's was at stake."

It took a few seconds for Alec to realize Jace was so quietly sobbing, that the tears were now seeping out on their own. He pulled his brother into his arms, resting his chin on the top of his head.

"So, no. You're not a burden to us. You've always been our lifeline."

Those words had echoed in Jace's mind for the rest of the night. Even in his usual dreams he could still hear them from afar, like a howling of a wolf.   
But despite himself, inside, he knew that the next day, he would stand in front of the mirror. He would still wonder who he was. He would still feel like he belonged nowhere.   
He would still feel dirty. No matter how hot the pressure of the water hitting his skin was, each night. He would never feel like himself anymore. He would still dive into the nightmare.


	3. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace reveals one thing about himself to Simon, that he had never told to anyone before and that forces Simon to say something about himself as well. Secrets are coming this way!

**7.00**

**Beep beep be-**

The teenage boy groaned and threw his arm on the alarm clock before rolling onto his side to suddenly tumble onto the floor.   
_An usual Wednesday morning_, he thought.

His eyelids opened painfully, to reveal a blinding light stinging his sensitive eyes. He squinted and propped himself up onto the floor, yawning and stretching out. The sun rays kissed his skin through the thin silk curtain covering the window of his rather small bedroom.   
His eyes snapped to the clock on the bedside. With a long sigh of relief, he finally decided to get up from the particularly hard floor and make his way to the bathroom. He wouldn't be late today.

The minutes seemed to flit by so slowly, as the scorching pressure of the water streamed along his body, that he didn't feel the time passing by. Wearing a simple towel tied around his waist, he headed to the living room.   
An eerie silence flooded the house as his feet stepped onto the ground. No one was there, he noticed in a curious state of mind.  
And nothing had changed. Apart from the little note placed onto the table in the kitchen.

_"I had to leave earlier today so no worries. I still had time to make you breakfast_   
_-Mom"_

Simon's lips curved into a loving smile as his look went on the carefully prepared plate filled with food just right next to the folded piece of paper. Being alone would have its advantages, surely.

**From: Fray **  
**[**My mother gave me a ride school. You won't be mad, will you? I'll see ya there!**]**  
But these words, as simple as they were, had to somehow waste the aspect of peace he had come to feel.  
Simon sighed, reading the message once again, as if the letters would change.   
Maybe it was an opportunity to take a walk instead of driving this time, he reassured himself, after accepting that loneliness was what would accompany him.

After dressing up in one of the few outfits he had picked yesterday, trying impossibly to put on those eye contacts, he stalled himself on the chair and satisfyingly tasted the acidity of the orange juice glass put onto the plate.   
Usually in the mornings, Simon's mind had always been too blurred by his slumber to think about anything. But today, his mind felt clear and fluid. At least, until his thoughts ended up drowned by the events of the last day.

He wondered if the other people around him would see any changing in him. If today, those people who despised him, would spare him from the slurs and glares they had always thrown at him, from the contempt and the disregard he had always undergone, just because his clothes would not be the same as yesterday. If the deal they had made was worth enough the attention of the people surrounding him.   
He had never doubted that he felt grateful for having Clary by his side.   
But having friends doesn't mean that you're understood. Being misunderstood is a feeling that is just as deep as being alone.

His mother wouldn't fathom this bleak feeling of loneliness gnawing on him, either. She zealously tempted to pledge him a relationship with a high ranking girl from a high ranking family, to make a purposeful union. She was convincely undoubted that it would grant him happiness in the process.  
And beside this desire of hers, nothing seemed to matter as much.  
And it wasn't helping so far.

Clary had always been worshipped and loved, had always had many friends and connections over the school.   
Thereby, she surely couldn't understand either.

Simon wished he could be like her sometimes. He wished someone could tell him why he had always been left aside.  
He wondered what it would be like not to get mocked by the students whom the familiar look dwelled judgmental on him.   
What it would be like if people around him beamed instead of spitting on him.   
He wondered what it would be like if the leader of this school had a crush on him as well. _Jace_.

Thinking of Jace, Simon felt like the time had stopped.  
The multiple colors of his eyes had stayed anchored in his mind, as well as the warmth of his fingers through his hair.   
And the more he tried to bury it, the more he could feel it again.  
He was certain Jace hadn't felt it. Why would he? And even if he had, what repercussions would it have on his life?

Simon was nothing like Jace. He was nothing near what Jace had been fond of so far.   
He wasn't a girl, and far from being confident. He didn't consider himself alluring enough to even stand next to all the persons Jace had been around with.  
He was nothing at all.   
_Right?_   
This man Simon was uncommon to, was plainly using him in the aim of getting closer to the person Simon loved the most.   
And Simon knew that as soon as he would reach his purpose, they would both forget about him.   
He knew as seconds were flowing by, that he was losing the only thing that had shielded him through his life, the one thing that made him want to keep his sore eyes open. This feeling of love.  
And that right now, as he was wearily lumbering by the road to this school, he was falling deep into an endless trap.

**_________*_________**

This morning, as he squeezed through the entrance hall, the hallways were almost too quiet for a Wednesday.  
Although Simon could swear he wasn't late. And as much as it looked like he was in advance, it sure wasn't even thinkable.

Nonetheless, soon, as he dreadingly waltzed deeper into the halls, he quickly realized the reason of this eerie emptiness. The hubbub was getting louder as his footfalls echoed, mingling with the cheers and the whistling of a big crowd mustered in the right part of the highschool ground floor.

And eventually, his steps stopped, as he witnessed a scene he was afraid he was strangely familiar to.  
He knew this face way too well. Those dark golden locks, this petrifying gaze, this tall and feisty silhouette. _Jonathan Morgenstern_.  
This time, he held a wretched boy with ginger hair into his tight grip against a locker. His nails seemed to bore the boy's fragile and pale like porcelain skin. He seemed so harmless, so innocent. His bleary watery eyes were stuck down on his feet to avoid Jonathan's ones. The laughs and the cheers by the crowd of bystanders whistling for more was slowly gulfing.

"Trying to steal my girlfriend, now?"   
Jonathan's sharp voice rang through the corridor, making the crowd, including Camille, hastily hoot.   
"You shouldn't mess with me, little boy."   
At the end of his last word, Jonathan kicked the boy in the stomach, making him buckle and collapse onto the floor, his sobs still inaudible.  
Simon shivered.

In those watery eyes, he could see a piece of himself. He could see this same vulnerability, this same fear.

The boy was whimpering and weeping so weakly that the students had to pay attention to hear it.

And in this voice, he recognized his own wailing.   
Back when the same ruthlessness had struck him. Back when Jonathan took pleasure in tossing him onto the floor, back when Simon didn't dare to retort, back when dwelling silent seemed like a better option.  
But it had taken every ounce of his strength just to find out that Jonathan was nothing but unconscious.  
It took him restless nights of nightmares and pathetic endless tears. Of bruises and excessive gore covering his hands.   
No one had to know about this. No one could.  
And, crying in a corner of the washroom, praying for silence, for being hidden enough so that no one would ever see this side of weakness, had been the thing he had done most of the time.

"Hey, you!"   
A louder voice overcame the crowd's howling, making Simon snap back to reality.   
His eyes shot up, to fall onto the one that interrupted them.  
Simon didn't see his face as he approached Jonathan but he could acknowledge him among thousands.   
He grasped Jonathan's collar and pulled him off the little redhead boy to push him against the locker right next to them.   
The room went dead silent after everyone had gasped.   
_Jace_?

"Do you find that funny?"   
Jonathan's eyes went wide as he fluttered them open to see Jace standing in front of him, his knuckles getting white as he clenched his fists around Jonathan's ruffled collar, his veins slowly getting apparent.   
"Do any of you find that funny?" He bawled, taking a glance all around him, making the crowd back off and Simon pray that he didn't see him.

His heartbeats were the sole thing resounding in his ears. The only thing that made him believe that he wasn't dreaming.   
Jace pushed Jonathan once again, harder against the locker and Jonathan almost cried out as his grip got too intense on his throat.

"Next time I see you bully anyone else, I swear, you're gonna regret it."

"What... what is wrong with you? I thought we were mates-"

"Don't you ever call us that again. Understood?"   
Jace cut Jonathan off.   
His grip on his collar loosened up as the defeated one nodded. Jonathan quickly fled and the crowd quickly scattered in the hallways. Jace had probably ruined his solid reputation of player by defending the shy boy who was now weltering onto the floor.   
But it didn't seem to matter.  
And Simon stood there, unable to move a thing.   
Jace stuck his hand to the boy who reluctantly gripped it to hop up on his feet.

"Are you hurt?"

"I-I'm fine."

Jace passed over the lie and cracked his knuckles.   
"I advise you don't get involved with the Morgenstern. He's a dick."   
The boy nodded.  
"Go, now."

The redhead boy ran away and, Simon noticed, repetitively limped. And he regretted staying still there, as soon as Jace turned around and laid eyes on him.   
Simon wanted to do something, but what could be possibly enough? Maybe the golden boy would say something to him, anything.

But he simply glared at him before leaving, in a way Simon considered as natural.  
_Fair enough_, Simon mused before he regained the control of his movements and walked away.

**________*________**

**3.00pm**  
"I'm proud of you, Jace."

"Yeah, even though you could have gotten hurt..."   
The three siblings slashed their way to the exit between the crowd of students wandering around. Alec had his hand on his sister's back while Jace was leading the way.

"Jonathan is a weakling, Alec. There was no risk."

"Still, you've probably lost the friendship of half your teammates from the football team."   
Alec couldn't help the smirk creeping onto his flushed lips. He knew the contempt his brother maintained for the Morgenstern. And he knew his teammates' approval was the tiniest of his problems.

Jace spinned around only to roll his eyes at his older brother.  
"I don't care. They're all morons."

"First, and besides, I think Clary heard about what happened. Now, she looks at you with dreamy eyes."   
Isabelle noted, her ponytail bobbing up and down as her heels clicked on the floor.

"That was not the point but anyway. I have a date with her in an hour so I'll need your help, sis'"

Izzy beamed at Jace, Alec ogling at the both of them.  
"Wow, so you did it!" She cheered.

"Not very impressive. I wonder how long your relationship's going to last."

"Alec!" Izzy yelled at her taller brother who was walking by her side, nudging him in offence.

"No, he's right. But I believe she's the one."   
Jace said in an overdramatic tone, however winking at one of the girls chatting in the parking lot, making Alec roll his eyes in disbelief.

"I don't like this girl, anyway."

"You don't like anyone, Alec."   
Jace noted.

"I like Magnus." Alec muttered to himself, not that he wished for anyone to hear it.

"I mean, you've literally said exactly the same thing for all the other girls."   
Izzy yelped.

"Yeah and guess what? He's broken up with all of them in less than a week."

Jace raised a pointing finger after his brother gestured desperately around him.  
"Uh-huh, I dated Kaelie for two weeks."

The three Lightwoods hopped into the red car, Alec, being the eldest, instinctively going for the driver seat.   
They all clipped their seatbelts before Alec started to drive down the New York streets.   
The sky was flooded with a coat of grey clouds darkening the town, hiding the sunlight behind them. Thin drops of rain started to splash onto the glass of the car, foreseeing the thunder.

"Have you talked to Simon yet?" Izzy asked in a disconnected voice, her thoughts lost into the fair sky above the car.

"Why would I do that?"   
Jace wanted to avoid this conversation as well as he had avoided Simon this morning. Why would he go talk to him? He had stayed by the crowd this morning, among the cheering students who approved what was Jonathan doing. He had done nothing to help the boy. Which made Jace wonder if he really knew him. Even if, truth is that he hardly did in the first place.

"I don't know. You wouldn't tell me anything about what happened yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" Alec inquired in a curious and yet infuriated tone.

Izzy was sneaky and curious in nature. She would somehow find out everything sooner or later.   
Hence, Jace used to confess her everything.   
But this time, he wasn't willing to tell whasoever had happened. He still didn't know why. Maybe it was the fact that Simon and him had somehow grown closer and that he didn't like it. Maybe it was about the feeling when they had locked eyes. Maybe it was about the way he had found Simon this evening. Or maybe about the weirdest attraction he had felt.   
_No_.  
No, he had felt nothing.

The date with Clary might clear and lighten his mind, he thought, but as for now he could only loose his sight into those grey gloomy clouds. Maybe he would feel lighter later.  
Lighter without the pressure of the unknown and foreign feelings.  
"Jace and Simon went shopping."

"They did what?" Alec exclaimed louder than expected, his eyes yet focused on the road.

"He needed my help. I helped him, that's it."

"Simon Lewis, like, seriously?" Alec couldn't help but note.

"I know, right? That's what I thought first too." Izzy added.

"Look, we made a deal. That was my part of the deal, okay? And eyes on the road, Alec."

"What deal? Why am I always the last one to know?"   
Alec complained as he swivelled the steering wheel to drift on the right.

"Because I always find out everything, dear brother."

Jace sighed in exasperation.   
"He helps me going out with Clary, I help him finding a date." He quickly summarized, giving the least interest or attention to this unwanted conversation.

Alec raised an eyebrow, humming in comprehension.  
"Fair enough, I guess. Since when?"

"Since Monday."

He hummed once again.   
"Is he a good help?"

"Uh, I guess so, I don't know. Why? Are you interested in his services?" Jace teased his brother knowing aptly it wasn't the case.

"Well, I'll let you know that I don't need any help. I've already found the love of my life."

"Awww, you and Magnus are adorable. I ship it!"

"You what?"   
Jace frowned, taking a look at the mirror to see his grinning sister at the backseat.

"Nevermind.."

**________*________**

**3.30**   
The sheets of his bed were soft and warm as if someone had laid down here before him. Although no one had.   
He had the luxury to have a room isolated enough to be warm and enhance his slumber when it was too dim. His dear parents didn't miss any opportunity to make him remember that he was spoiled and lucky, by the way.

He stared at the ceiling, the smooth white ceiling, that he used to stare at when he was feeling down. Albeit now he wasn't.  
Listening to the rain drenching the glass of his window, as well as the cars in the street. The drops of water streaking between the red leaves of an autumn tree.  
Listening to his sister mumbling to herself while she folded and checked some of his clothes, he was feeling rather enthusiastic.

"You could at least help me out, you know."   
She mumbled in a louder voice, as she was now talking to him.

"You deal with it much more than I do. That is _your _department. I'm sure you can handle it. Don't act like you don't enjoy it."

Izzy hid the grin on her face, turning her back to Jace. She threw a pile of clothes onto the bed next to him, making her brother grin.  
"I think I've found **the** outfit."

**_________*_________**

"Are you sure about this one, though? Isn't it too much?"

"No, you look stunning in this."   
Simon cheered, dumping on the bed.   
"I'm sure he's gonna like it. Just make sure he doesn't jump on you as soon as he sees you."

Clary rolled her eyes.   
A comfortable silence filled the room as Clary pressed another dress on her regularly inflating chest. Her eyes never leaving her reflect onto the adorned mirror, she spoke up.  
"Maybe you're right."

"Of course I am, this outfit slays!"

"No. I mean, about Jace."  
At those sudden words coming from Clary, Simon found himself astounded. They had discussed about their love life many times, one of the greatest point of an intense and lasting friendship like the one they shared. But never had they been feeling unfamiliar with this topic, except for now. Especially Simon who, at the moment Clary spinned around to face him, started ogling at her in bewilderment.

"Oh."   
Clary slouched onto a chair near a wooden white desk while Simon chewed on his lips.  
"By the way, what's up with the sudden change of mind?"

A flashing smile, that plagued Simon at first, crossed her face.

"Well, I came across him at the academy of art."

"What a strange coincidence!"  
Simon tried, although badly, to take a dumbfounded look, speaking in an involuntar sarcastic tone.

"Tell me about it."  
She didn't seem to notice it and went through her makeup gear into the drawer.  
"He's nice. And he seems much more mature than it looks like."

"He is."   
Simon caught himself blurting out, instantly regretting opening his mouth, like pretty much all the time.

**That**, however, didn't go unnoticed and forced a deep frown onto Clary's forehead.  
"You guys hang out a lot lately."   
She noted, as if it was a revelation.

"C'mon, we've hung out like, what, twice..."

"But you went shopping."   
There, Simon couldn't deny that she had a point, not that he would admit it. Clary must not doubt anything behind his purposes. "You hate to go shopping."

"Well... things change." He tempted, writhing his fingers together.

"Look, if you ever feel weird with the fact that I go out with him, you can-"

"I'm glad it works out for you two. I just want you to he happy. And I'm sure he **can **make you happy."  
Simon hastened to state, for her to stop implying anything.   
But her words didn't reach deaf ears.   
Instead, they kept replaying and swirling in his mind, forcing him to think about one question haunting his mind, triggering his previously repressed fears.

_Would I feel weird?_

**_________*_________**

The Redhook Docks was a nice place to be in.  
The fresh scent of the moisture floating in the air was a nice perfume to fill his nostrils with.  
The chilling breeze hit her already pale skin, at the same time, the sunbeams sneaking through the clouds kissed her entire body, shimmering with the brightness of her blazing curls of hair.   
He caught himself staring at her, getting lost in the color of her paly green eyes.   
That's only about time that he realized he hadn't been speaking for a while. Luckily, the girl silently sauntering the docks by his side, decided to break the unbearable silence.

"Why did you bring me here?"

Jace took a slight breath in before answering. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't lie. He couldn't tell about the contract with Simon either. That would put them both in avoidable trouble.

"Do you want the honest answer?"   
He decided to let Clary choose. Not that he once thought she would expect a lie.

"I would rather."   
A small smile lit up her face framed by her silky hair dancing by the wind.   
From what he had gathered, honesty was a more valuable option when it came to Clary.

"Actually, I've never been here. I just heard it was a nice place."  
He artfully stopped pacing a few metres away from Jade Wolf, making Clary face him. "And I heard there was this Chinese restaurant... that you were keen of."

Jace scruted each of Clary's features in attempt to see her reaction. She parted her lips, a sign that she might be confused.

"Do you think I'm some creepy stalker, now?"  
He jested, watching the way it had brought a grin upon her face.

"That's sweet, you actually care about what I think about you."   
She said in sarcasm.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't."   
The answer seemed to have pleased his date, she softened her look while her eyes surveyed the curves of his face.

"To answer your question, no. I don't think that of you."   
A blow of the wind messed her hair, ruffling them. But in a slight gesture of her hand, they were back to the usual red cascade.  
"I like the idea that you took care to know more about me before taking me somewhere. It also shows that you care about my tastes. Which I appreciate."

"I have my ways, indeed."

Jace controlled all of his words and gestures in a careful, wary and observant way. He stepped aside, put lightly his palm on her shoulder to turn her towards the place they would soon be heading to.   
He pointed the restaurant down there, a few steps away.

"Shall we?" He muttered in a hoarse and seductive way.   
Clary smiled awkwardly and led the way into the Jade Wolf.

_________*_________

**7.00pm**

Trying as much as he could to control his wandering thoughts, he gazed out of the window from its sill, watching whilst people rambled through the foggy streets. Their silhouettes as much apparent as the sun hidden behind the clouds.

Reminding himself who was the person his best friend was out on a date with, as unimportant as it should be, was the last thing he wanted to do.   
Yet, it was the only thing he could do apart from bringing his knees to his exposed chest, his arms wrapped around them, and his eyes through the window frame on the shops edging the alleys.   
It was on those lonely moments when this knot reached his throat that he thought being alone must not be that bad.

After all, it would just keep him from any sort of pain and hurt.   
But, it alsmost seemed lifeless. Pointless.   
And so infuriating.   
Three hours had passed by, of silence. He wished he could just dive in whatever would keep him from reality and let himself pass away. Even though the whole concept of dying was dark and much deeper than that. Simon wasn't at the point of wanting to die. He just wished for everything to stop and to abide here, in his room, with the light covered in darkness. No issues, no disease, no pain, and no way out either. Why would we want to get out of a world without problems?   
Stop the time was one thing he wished he could do. But first he'd have to make out what was so hurting. What made him feel this way.

It was hard to try to let it go, to try to answer. Sometimes he knew better than to strive finding answers in everything. Some things were just better unanswered. Generating doubts, qualm and that would get stuck in with him.   
_In a world without problems._

Abruptly interrupted by the ringing bell of his house, his thoughts died out of his mind, carried away by the blowing wind.

He trudged, trailing his feet onto the floor until he reached the locked door. The way there, seemed so long and endless that he thought he would faint before barely brushing the door with his fingertips. The air as he touched the wood of the door seemed to chill up somehow, cooling up the bare skin of his chest. He huffed out an imperceptible breathe and forced his fingers around the handle to open the squeaking door.

Wide eyed, he suddenly found himself pushed aside as someone he wasn't expecting entered his house.   
_Jace? Again?_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't just show up at my place, invite yourself into my home and expect me to-"  
Simon who had regained his senses was suddenly cut off by his interlocutor.

"It's about Clary."

"Of course it's about Clary."   
The black haired one cleared his throat, trying to register what had just happened. The raise of his tone had seemed to confuse the man in front of him. Simon had this urge to speak his truth out loud. But what would be the result, anyway? He would keep himself from lashing out, in the near future.

Jace, out of his confusion, let his eyes rake over Simon's revealed chest for what felt like lasting minutes who had Simon unwittingly smile to himself, a faint blush fizzling on his cheeks. Not that Jace would notice it, he was too caught in staring at Simon's sharp muscles, visibly.  
  
"What is it? She texted me that everything was great."

"Well, everything is _not _great."  
Simon patiently waited for Jace to go on, which, when Jace didn't react, made him slightly nod in his direction.  
"I think she... misread my intentions."  
Simon was getting more than impatient at Jace's cryptic replies.

"Which means?"

"I think she's trying to be my friend." He eventually spilled through his clearly bothered state.  
A heavy silence followed his words while Simon shot up one eyebrow at him.

"Cool. That's a good beginning.."He commented, not knowing how to react.

"A good beginning, huh? It's wednesday!"

"Yeah, and tomorrow's thursday."He added, still dwelling clueless about what Jace was alluding to, or mostly because he liked annoying him. He crossed his arms and made his way to the living room. Since Jace had barged in here, let's at least get comfortable.

"You don't get it."

"No, I truly don't." He quipped back, slipping in a black tee that thankfully looked not too 'nerdy', and letting himself fall onto his couch. Lucky him his mother wasn't here.

"Let me spell it out for you. If today's wednesday it means that I have two days left before I can ask her out."   
He finally followed Simon's steps and stood stiff in front of the couch Simon was sprawled out on.

"Well, you'll just have to speed things up."

"Oh yeah? And how, when the only thing she has in mind is Sebastian Verlac?"  
He should have known about it. Making Clary believe he was taken was cutting straight to her intentions but not her feelings. Sebastian was a good guy, though, not that Simon would have someday figured she'd like him.

"She told you that..?" Simon halfheartedly inquired, almost weaving as he received a simple nod from Jace.

"And you didn't tell me."

"Well, it was not supposed to matter, you know. I mean, he's not her type."  
His desperate attempt to soothe the fear Jace had come to develop, wasn't so far making effect. Jace narrowed his eyes even tighter.

"Not her type, huh? Blond hair, bright eyes.."

"What I mean is that... I might have told Clary he was dating Izzy, anyway." His brain decided to make him blurt out, one of the worst idea he could ever have, he wouldn't have if he'd seen the look Jace was giving him right now.

"You did what?"

"Look, she was practically drooling over him, I had to do something. So I thought the only way she would back off was to make her believe he wasn't available." He explained, the speed of his words intensifying, as it used to when he got nervous.

"Still, he's the one she wants. And she sure didn't look the slightest interested in me."  
Eventually joining Simon onto the couch, he frantically burrowed his head into his hands in a thawrted way that made Simon feel uneasily bad. He was wondering whether the man was definitely developing feelings for his best friend, or if he was simply going too far for one of his uninteresting challenges.   
He sighed, once again feeling defeated, the guilt taking the best of him. 

"Maybe you should consider that it doesn't have anything to do with Sebastian, you know. Maybe your personalities just don't fit together. I know you're not used to that but you can't control everything."   
Jace turned his look, ogling at Simon like he didn't usually do, as if his talk was based on obvious surreality.

"I always get to go out with whoever I want, why is **she **so hard to get?"   
His words sounded very childish into Simon's ears.   
The last glow of the sun setting was thrown onto his face, reminding Simon of a fallen angel. What a paradoxe. Jace had nothing of an angel. Once again, he would have stayed quiet, but how? When so many unsaid things were bothering him.

"Well, mostly because the girls you 'get to go out with' whenever you want to, don't see you as you really are."   
For a few seconds, he stopped here. He was about to say so much things. Was it really worth it? His eyes got lost into the void, as he blinked ruefully several times.   
"You won't make me believe that they see the details about you. Like for example the way your eyes shine when you talk about your siblings. Someone that **really **liked you would have noticed." At those mere words, the blond's attention seemed sharp, as if ignited by their depth. Something which was unsettling, given the way he had despised every mention of his opinion in the past. In fact, if Simon was half aware of what was implied in what he just said, he'd probably take it back. "Everything they see about you is shallow and superficial. Every time they praise you is in expect to have something back. The way they see you, is the way you want them to. Not the way you truly are, and not the weak part you're trying to conceal."  
Jace's intent eyes on him had turned wide at the last phrase, yet unnoticed by Simon.   
The feeling of vulnerability started to grow on his mind. And it was unfairly helpless.  
"I thought you'd be aware of that. They like you because of how you look, they want you but only in their bed, for your popularity, like an insignificant trophy.   
One thing you need to know about Clary is that she would consider someone worthwhile as long as she knows this person deserves it. Or when this person is hurt."  
Simon's gaze shifted to the window, absentmindedly. As if this whole discussion had nothing relevant. "I know you're hurt. I don't know why and you might be very effective as it comes to hide it, anyway. But I can tell you're hurting."

Jace's voice was stranded into his dry throat. He wished he could act fearless right now, and play with the emotionless portrait he had drawn for as long as he could remember. After all, it wasn't a tough task, since mere people cared about who he was.   
But this facade he had strived to build had probably crumbled down by now.   
He thought for a second, or two, he didn't really pay attention. Maybe he had even thought for hours, actually.   
_Who was he to think that of him?_ Probably anyone. Anyone would have destroyed this facade of his.   
The real question was; how did he know?

He felt ridiculously naked, like an idiot. His lower lip dimly trembling. How dark had gotten the room? The depth of his mind devoured by the words he wished he hadn't heard. A poetical way to describe what he was feeling. Basically pain, and hatred. Towards who? Towards what?

"You think I should give up." He had managed to force the words out of his mouth. "Clearly I don't deserve it."

Simon's heart dropped. Obviously, that's not what he was expecting, if he was expecting anything. Maybe he was expecting to be all wrong from the start. Or maybe he hoped he was right. He instinctively reached for Jace's arm, urging him to look at him instead of planting his eyes onto the ground, which is what he'd been doing the whole time. This whole matter seemed to have much more impact then he had thought.

"No, no, that's not what I intend to say. I just... Perhaps you should be yourself around her. You should just stay the way you actually are instead of the way you try to be in school."

"Wait.. you're insinuating that I'm faking myself at-"

"You obviously are, Jace."

Jace sought for Simon's eyes, hoping he was somehow kidding, searching for an ounce of hesitation, uneasiness. But Simon was sat upright, his palm on Jace's arm, and he had never seen him this serious before. Certainly no one had ever seen him this way.   
It was almost suffocating.  
  
His nightmare was slowly getting real and bittersweet.   
Bitter for obvious reasons. Like the sour taste in his mouth, something similar to defeat. 

Sweet because, as his fears were progressively choking him, Simon flashed him a hearfelt smile that for a second broke the train of those fears. He breathed. That was a nice sensation.   
But nothing compared to what he had always been put through, to the emotions he would always feel while standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wondering about so many things about himself.   
Who was he?  
Was he even someone? Was his life worth it? Why didn't he die along with his parents?  
Perhaps he should have died, this night. Instead of leading a life of unwanted fears.

Letting himself dive into this sea of unanswered questions, made him barely notice the way his breathe had stopped, arousing the wave of shivers through his whole body. His sight blurred by the unannounced tears. The panic silently overwhelming his senses. So silent that it was a careful task to notice it.  
He didn't feel anything for once, but that wasn't for the best.

And so just like that, Simon decided to bring his arms around him, not knowing what to do with himself. It was not about his parents any longer, hell, it was not even about him anymore. It was just Simon, who had decided that the contempt they had always showed towards each other was not important. Why of all people did it have to be _Simon_..?

Jace heard him hush into his ear, the strong grip around his waist, he rested his head and let himself be. What could he do, anyway? Was backing off even an option?

The words, the secrets were burning his tongue. He knew as soon as they would leave his mouth, his worst fear would come true.   
But as he was gently cradled into the other one's arms, what he felt was nothing near fear or dread. Nothing frightening. And he understood why of all people it was Simon. 

  
But what if he rejected him? Pitied him? Even worse, what if he mocked him?  
He had braced himself for every of those reactions, too many times. Surely it wouldn't affect him. Right?

"I'm adopted."   
.  
.  
.

The hand that was skittering up his back, the hushing, had stopped, like a downturn in the time. A wave of silence flooded them both.   
Jace could hear and feel his heart pounding excessively fast, his breath went short. How could simple words even have so much effect on him?  
Even the noises from outside had been deafened, not reaching their ears.   
Simon's hand pushed onto the blond's chest to pull back from the baffling embrace.

"Do you hate me, now?" He muttered when they were finally apart from each other, Simon's eyes stupidly chasing after Jace's. He knew he wouldn't be ready to look at him right away. Not yet.

But however, through this infuriating and stark feeling, Jace dared to rise his look and stared into the other one's eyes. What he saw was a mix of confusion, of comprehension and affection. That probably didn't make sense at first.

"Hate you?" Simon foolishly repeated, a bygone smile, almost petulant, played on his lips until dwindling, whereas he'd scrunched his eyebrows in bewilderment. "Why would I hate you?"   
One of his hand hesitantly rested on Jace's jawline, a deed that made his heartbeat fasten, if it was still possible.   
"I had kind of figured it as a possibility."   
Seeing the panic cross Jace's face, he went on. "Not that it's obvious or anything. You're just different. And judging from the way you seem so insecure about this kind of topic, I just figured."

The room was dead silent, a lethal sensation ran through Jace, at the same time, his fear seemed to quell. It was hard to decide whether to say something or not. It just felt like everything was said, allowing him to indulge passionate revelation.

"It's fine, Jace. I don't care."   
A few tears welled up in his eyes, a lump reached his throat, as much as he wished to restrain it. He suddenly took conscience of the proximity, of the way their knees were slightly grazing. He did not back off. He did not feel the desire to.  
"It is not your fault. You have nothing to blame yourself for. Your parents would be proud of you."   
One single tear eventually rolled down his cheekbone, while Simon dropped his hand away. Definitely, he couldn't restrain it.   
This fact, though, didn't seem to change anything. The same silence was breaking through both their minds, the sun was still setting, and their heart beating. There was no judgment, no blame, just silence. And a little bit of confusion.

"You know, when Jonathan was bothering the boy from the art class. I regret not doing anything about it."  
Jace tried as much as he could to understand where Simon was getting to.   
"I realized I wasn't straight a few years ago only. Jonathan had heard about it. So, he basically started to harass me with slurs, calling me names I will unfortunately always remember. At first I thought he was just messing with me, that it was no big deal. But as soon as he began to hit me, I just... kind of broke down. I wouldn't eat, I would hide, I would hurt myself. It sounds pathetic, I know. But eventually I realized his strength was only based on unawareness.   
One day he had gotten close to me, enough to strangle me. I punched him in the nose, pretty hard. At least I guess so, since he backed off and was tremendously bleeding. But making this made me realize that I had lost two years of my life weeping for something I could have swerved. That I had gone through this only by my fault. I never told anyone about this. Not even Clary. And Jonathan back then was pretty shrewd as well so... That's why I didn't do anything this morning. The scene just brought back those memories."

Hearing this induced a gust of guilt through Jace, for doubting once of Simon's selflessness. For making him reveal secrets that he was sure Simon wanted to keep to himself.  
"So, you know, everyone has some sort of secret. A weakness. It doesn't make us less worthwhile in any sort, it just shows we are humans. Being weak is not always a bad thing."   
Jace simply nodded.   
"And you have every right to feel whatever feeling I wouldn't understand. You don't have to prove anything. Also, you don't give yourself enough credit, you're stronger than you think you are."  
  
The obscurity had finally fully enveloped the room, letting solely the moon and the streetlights take over. It seemed like they had been there for hours. And over these hours, Jace debated whether opening up or not. It didn't feel like he had an option.   
He had already started, they both had, anyway.

"I was seven. Somehow I don't remember anything from my childhood, I mean, before the accident. I just remember the night it happened. The flames, my someone's screams, the pain. I don't know how I got out of this situation either how I survived the crash. Since then, I always have the same dream. Basically the car crashing and the same pictures and noises, sometimes the sensation, too. My parents won't tell me anything about them. They won't tell me who I really am, whence I come. And so I feel like I don't belong anywhere, that I'm nobody. I'm so scared that once I tell someone, they would stare at me in disgust."

"That doesn't make sense. You-you deserve... so much more."

The words hit him like a rough boulder, destroying every of his convictions. _You deserve so much more._

The leaves soared into the wind, outside, the clouds coated the blinking stars, the light outside was making itself mere and scarce. Jace listened to the noises the wind made against the window glass. After a moment of hesitation another hand slithered into his, a thumb stroking the back of it, his knuckles. As much as he was startled, he didn't react, he pressed the hand closer and afforded his gaze onto Simon. They stared at each other, their hands pressed together. He didn't know what all that meant, he didn't know what would happen after then.

He didn't have time to, anyway, when the light came back, when they both heard the entrance door unlocking. They jumped apart, as if what had been happening before ought to be unknown.   
Simon knew perfectly what was going on. He cursed under his breath for having forgotten that his mother would soon come back from work.

"Simon, Rebecca is coming tonight, so I thought-"  
She trailed her words off at the sight of her wide eyed son onto the couch with a particularly handsome man sitting beside him.  
"Oh, did I interrupt anything?"

Her teasing tone wasn't making the situation any better, somehow it had rather deepened the blush onto Simon's face.   
Jace leapt up on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck, looking surprisingly awkward himself.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't see the time passing."  
He excused himself.

"Yeah, I don't doubt it one second."   
Her eyes never leaving Simon, she smirked playfully.

"I.. I'm heading out. Have a good evening."   
Without adding anything, his tall silhouette stormed out of the house just as it had stormed in, in the first place.   
Simon watched him getting further away, hoping his mother would let him sneak into his room without making any comment. But before he could even move, she spoke up.

"Well, you didn't tell me you were seeing someone."

He sighed in defeat and turned around.  
"That's because I'm not."   
But his answer had just pushed a bigger smile onto her face, as she hummed sarcastically.

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, he's cute."  
Now that Clary also thought something was going on between them, his mother obviously had to be the next one.   
He let out a huff out of his frustration. So did Jace, as he was driving his way down the streets of New York, a heavy feeling of bewilderment was haunting him, even though he tried to erase the last events out of his mind. He needed to sleep.

They both needed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, dear readers!  
I really hope you enjoyed this chapter even if I feel like it's crap. Well, I still wanted to share it with the few people that read my work (and guys, I really, REALLY appreciate it) to know more about what I should improve or change, or what you liked, etc... So, don't hesitate to leave kudos if you like it and give me feedback so I can evolve. 
> 
> Thank you so much for making it so far!


	4. Thursday

"I told him."

"You told what?"   
Jace writhed his fingers together onto the table while the room was progressively getting filled with students and voices in the process. His older brother didn't seem to be paying much attention to anything surrounding him, which pushed him into this idea of telling him what was bothering him, something he didn't do most of the time.   
He glanced up at the very time a student entered the room, not exactly knowing what he was waiting for or even expecting, he shot Alec a furtive look as well each time his brother sent a message on his phone.   
Jace easily assumed he was texting Magnus. Anyone would have, judging by the sheepish smile he was involuntarily sporting on his plump lips. His younger brother caught himself wanting to know the sensation it procured to have such a bond with someone, it was a rather avoided matter, though. Because he'd always considered feelings as a limit, as much as a burden.

"I told Simon that I'm adopted."   
He muttered, surprising himself with the large sense of his words, realizing himself the seriousness of the deed he had made. He had _trusted_. Most of all, he had trusted someone he barely knew. Someone out of family bound.

Jace expected Alec to be astounded, even speechless. It would be fair. But not to drop his phone onto the floor and lure attention, that he had zealously tried to avoid.

"What?!"   
A few students from the first row turned their heads back at them. And if it didn't particularly picked his brother's attention, it did pick Jace's nervousity.

"Look, we... shouldn't talk about that right now-"

"Well, you started it in the first place. By the angel, why would you do that?!"   
Jace couldn't make out if he was furious or very confused. But either way, he wondered if telling him was a good idea. It did unlock something in him. The truth, said out loud, always seems more real. More impacting, unfortunately.

"In the moment, I-"  
Jace, not wishing to meet his brother's eyes, once again flashed a glance he thought wouldn't last, at the door that had been opening every now and then, when came the same ginger glistening color, the girl he would have been wooing, if his eyes hadn't fallen onto the boy following her steps behind.   
A different person from the Simon he had known. The perfect line of his brought back raven hair, every bit of muscles showed under his tight clothes. It seemed for a moment like he had just discovered the smoothness of his pale skin and the beauty of his features. Which was paradoxical given the way he had always seen Simon.

Jace percepted easily each of the whispered words coming from the girls in the back of the class. The girls he had probably frequented in the past.   
He could almost feel their lingering stare onto Simon's body, which for some reason bothered him.   
They shared a long glance, as though trying to figure out what was there between them, while he walked past him, until Simon awkwardly broke it and sped up his steps behind Clary.

"You have a lot to explain." Alec spoke up after scooping carefully his unscathed phone.   
"When are you going to come out to our parents?" He inquired in a scarily casual tone contrasting with his words, still tapping onto the screen, before raising one eyebrow. "I wish you well."

"Uh... Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not gay."   
He bemusedly brought back his golden locks, an act out of confusion, of nervousity, not realizing the severity and the implication of his brother's words.

"No. No, of course not. You wouldn't have sex with so many girls in so bare time."   
After pronouncing those pretty much offending words, Alec crooked his arched eyebrows, acting like he was thoroughly pondering.   
"You must be bisexual. Pansexual, maybe?"

"What the-.. I'm not-"

"You've never talked about this to anyone." The playfulness of his tone had left, as he finally put away his phone and turned towards his interlocutor. "Not even Izzy, not even me. I know you better than anyone, I can guess every of your feelings, but you never broached this topic, you've always avoided it."   
His finger pointed the back of the class where Clary and Simon quietly whispered to each other.   
"This guy must be special, right?"

Jace huffed in disbelief, desperately shaking his head in disagreement.   
"No. This is not-"

"You don't even know him."   
The wrinkle forming between his eyebrows, the solemnity of his tone, convinced Jace to stay quiet. In a way, he was right. He hardly knew Simon, as much as it felt like he did.   
However, this night he had trusted him enough to tell something he had hidden the entirety of his life. Maybe it felt right to undo this rope that were his lies and secrets. Probably it felt right to reveal it. But to Simon..?

"You love him, don't you? "

Jace sucked in his already irregular breath. Why would his own brother and best friend think something so unrealistic?   
Love is something he had tried to avoid as much as commitment. And love is a strong commitment. Which is even worse than a promise, it's a feeling that bounds you to someone. And it is hardly undoable.   
Not even bothering sorting through his thoughts, he brought his look over his shoulder, his eyes searching for others. Searching for Simon's. And as soon as he turned back, their eyes locked.

"I don't understand, you know I'm not-"

"Mr Lightwood. May you repeat what I just said?"   
Mrs Fairchild, who had already been passionately starting her class Jace couldn't have paid attention to, interrupted him. Her red glasses set down on her thin nose while she carried a few books that seemed to glow under the sunlight close her chest.

This time there was no way out. He had been caught off guards.   
This time he couldn't act smart and tricky like he had always easily done in front of people. He could only let his icy blue eyes fall down on his table.

"I'm sorry."

"That's what I thought. Now, you shall listen to the class."

All the way down to the shame, he felt his brother's eyes on him. The bitter taste of humiliation was bare beside this fear he was feeling right now.  
_Love is for wimps._

* * *

**12.00**

A gust of fresh air breezed through his hair when they crossed the gate. Clary wasn't speaking, let her eyes browser the buildings facing them at the exit of the school. Simon noted that she had never been this quiet, unless something was bothering her. But she would tell him.  
And he caught himself being unable to bring what was on her mind into the non existent discussion.

"Is everything okay? You haven't been speaking ever since. And you won't talk about yesterday."

She loosened up her speed until they were no longer walking, and pressed her favourite book closer to her chest. Her eyes went to find Simon's and she scanned him as though discovering something.

"You think I should talk to Sebastian?" She simply asked and started making a few steps again.

Simon sighed, the most weakly possible for her not to behold his frustration.  
"Why would you talk to him? And what's up with this obsession you have for him?"

They detoured the corner of the streets, the sunlight squinting their eyes.

"You remember him, don't you?"  
Simon was left confused, his eyes narrowing even more. If Simon remembered Sebastian? Well, yes he did. They had pursued the same classes in middle school, kids were pretty keen of him at this period of their lives.

"Um, yes?

"No, you don't."  
Simon frowned.   
"He was in primary school with us. Back when people harassed us and made fun of you, remember? One day you were sick, Elaine said you had to stay home. Someone bumped purposefully into me in the cafeteria and I dropped all of my meal. You know I hate dropping food and especially when people make me." Simon nodded." So I started crying silently and it made others laugh. Sebastian told them to stop and he helped me picking the plate up. After that, he stayed with me. The whole day."

The sunlight subsided as they entered the small diner they had got to know by heart, breathing in the perfume of snacks and beverages.

"You never noticed but he smiled to me everytime our paths crossed. And everytime you weren't there, he came and we would talk. Until we integrated high school. He became popular, he turned handsome, he met Isabelle. And he forgot about me. But I didn't."

Clary waved at the diner waiter, Simon doing as well. They took a seat while Simon thoroughly let his thoughts demolish all the surroundings. Even the waiter who approached the table. _How could've I not noticed?_, he wondered.

"Hi, guys!" Maia, who had walked to them, greeted, tightening up the apron around her waist.

"Hi, Maia. You don't have class today?" Clary inquired cheerfully, kicking discreetly Simon's knee when he didn't react to Maia's encounter.

"Not this afternoon, so I'm enjoying it, you know. The same as usual?"

Clary gave a light nod at Maia, but they both had their eyes onto Simon who watched his fingers fiddling.   
If what Clary felt for Sebastian was so deep, what would happen? Had Sebastian really forgotten about her? What if Clary found out he had lied? Would she hate him for that?

Too many questions so abruptly interrupted when Clary kicked him again, once Maia was gone to her duty.

"Hey, what's gotten into you? You completely ignored her."

"What do you feel for him?"  
Passing over what had happened and her questions had Clary slightly frowning. But she frowned even more at the question.

"Well, I don't know."

"Do you really think once you'd talk to him, his feelings for Izzy would just... vanish?"

His question itself hurt Clary's convictions. She drifted her look downwards onto her hands which were soon wrapped around a coffee mug. But she didn't taste it.

Simon hit his back on the back of his comfy seat, feeling himself sink deeper into the leather fabric. His fingers encircled the cup, feeling the warmth emanate from it. He abided silent for some more seconds until it itched him.

"Is that what made you sulk this whole morning?"   
He sipped through the perfumed tea, until he could feel the scalding water burn the tip of his tongue, and watched his friend getting flustered on her seat.   
"Did it go bad?"

Clary knew aptly what he was referring to when she looked up at him.  
"No. No, Jace's been... really nice. I had a good time. Why?"

The boy cleared his throat, in attempt to catch some time to find something to say.  
"You know, he likes you. Like, a lot. He says the kind of cheesy things that people say in cheesy romantic movies when they're ridiculously infatuated with the main character."

Fortunately, the comment had made Clary laugh genuinely, as she finally brought the cup to her lips.   
"Really? I didn't know he...

"Clary, you're not going to tell me that you didn't notice the way he looks at you...?"

That was a pure lie, though. But it sounded good enough to make Clary's eyes go wide.   
Simon took a sip of his beverage to hide the wide proud grin that had crept onto his face.

"You're not serious.

"I am, though."

Clary paused for a moment, staring intently into the mush emerging at the surface of her cappuccino.

"So, Jace has a crush on me..?"  
Simon didn't bother approving, the message was clear enough.   
She sighed. A sigh that Simon couldn't discern.  
"And so you think I should go ahead and give it a try."

Simon shrugged nonchalantly, swirling absentmindedly the liquid into the cup of tea.   
"Well, think about it. Jace is head over heels for you whereas Sebastian seems to have moved on or at the best, considers you as a friend. I mean, who have you been on a date with? Surely not Sebastian."  
He paused and put down the cup in all seriousness.   
"Look, I know you see Jace as a player. You're not the only one. But... he's more than that. When you get to know him, you realize that there are things that hurts him and that he keeps hiding. That he can somehow get attached to someone. Even though he feels scared at first of any sort of commitments, I know you're able to make him let you in. It takes time to make him open up to you, but eventually, you discover someone else."  
Realizing that his arguments sounded too personal, Simon regained his composure. "And I've never seen him into someone that much."

Nevertheless, Clary had noticed the way he was zoning out while talking about his, what you could hardly describe as friend, unfortunately.   
"Maybe **you** should give it a try." Clary let a sly smile appear on her lips while finishing the bitter taste of her coffee.

Simon didn't know what she had meant by that. Or maybe he simply didn't want to. Clary had still seemed convinced by the depth and the sensibility of the words he had let slip out.   
So he entangled his fingers onto the table and let the conversation flow and turn into many other topics until it was time for them to go back into school.

* * *

**1.10**  
A part of his mind missed Clary's presence by his side, as every Thursday of the week after lunch break.   
The class was no longer noisy, the restrained amount of students in the class whispered to each other, waiting for Mr Starkweather's coming. He glanced at the empty seat beside him, and decided that it was better this way. He had been acquainted to loneliness more than once in his life and for what it's worth, he preferred being alone than accompanied by any of the students present in this room. He then put his heavy black backpack onto the seat, indicating to anyone who would be stupid enough to go for this seat that it was already taken. By his bag, granted, but still taken.

Having nothing in mind to think about, he took sight of the whole class, and realized how specific were the places people picked to take a seat. How the class was carefully split into different groups of people who decided that they got along well enough to stick together.

The first group he noticed was Raj's who was sitting close enough to Underhill and Aline. Then his eyes fell onto Ragnor who was sat next to Catarina and Magnus who had been separated from his beloved significant one. After all, not everyone attended to Mr Starkweather's class, which was the cause of Simon's loneliness.   
This was not the first time Simon took pleasure in analysing the bonds and relationships that people had created among the class. Therefore, he couldn't help but notice that someone was missing in Magnus's group.   
But his eyes quickly found the stray man for once sitting away from who Simon had thought were his best friends. Raphael Santiago.

Camille Belcourt was muttering probably devilish plans in his ear, an outlandish sight, Simon thought. They had never really spent much time together in the past.   
Camille's groupies, including Jonathan, were all mustered around her, and Simon didn't bother identify every of them. He probably couldn't anyway. None of these people had ever picked his attention.

But all of a sudden, while Simon expected the least, Raphael pushed his chair back, letting a sharp sound of creaking echoe into the now silent room. People quickly went back to whispering when Raphael stood up on his feet and left behind him what Simon saw as a furious Camille glaring back at him.   
Simon thought the show was over, he was about to let his thoughts wander to the other students on his right, scruting each of their reactions and old habits, that he was afraid he already knew by heart. Until he heard his heavy black backpack fall onto he ground with a loud thud, urging his look on his left.

There, was stood Raphael, whom the intensively black eyes almost bored Simon's soul.  
He gracefully took the seat Simon had tried to keep empty and let himself fall against the back of it. After letting the silence settle between them, pointlessly staring at the white board in front of them, he eventually glanced at Simon, scanning him intently.

"Long time, no see." Raphael eventually said in a low husky voice that almost had Simon startled. They hadn't spoken up to each other in a long time, Simon admitted. Not that their conversations were very interesting or deep in any sort.

"I didn't especially miss you."  
Raphael's plump lips broke into a snark smirk.

"I don't doubt that."   
For a second, his stare seemed to last a little too long onto Simon. But as soon as he looked back at the white board, it felt like a second.   
"So, what's up with the golden boy?" He asked, referring to Jace, the snark smile not leaving his lips.

"What's up with Camille?" Simon retaliated, which had Raphael groaning and sinking deeper onto his seat that seemed a little too small for his broad shoulders.

"Don't even get me started on that."  
Simon eventually decided to turn towards his interlocutor and swang one feet on the other.

"So, I get you didn't manage to end up in her bed."  
His assumption earned him a long glare from Raphael who seemed rather disgusted at the thought.

"Didn't try to." He paused, wincing to himself before turning his head to Simon in a funnily offended way.  
"You really think I'm into Camille?"

"You don't need to be into someone to get into their pants."   
Simon praised himself mentally when Raphael let out a small chuckle that sounded even way too nice to match Raphael's rough personality, and crossed his arms over his toned chest.   
"So, what exactly are you doing here?" He decided to inquire, since he still didn't know why Raphael Santiago would sit beside him when all of his friends were still into the room.   
Even though, at his surprise, he didn't mind Raphael's company.

"Trying not to get in detention. I'm not the type to ditch classes."  
Simon rolled his eyes.

"No, I mean, on this seat. Wasn't the bag enough to indicate that I didn't need company?"   
Simon watched Raphael straighten up in a seriously dramatic gesture before shyly smiling.

"I'm enjoying your presence. Am I not allowed to?"  
Simon, confused, parted his lips in a search of words but Raphael cut him off.  
"And, you know, your pretty light bag is not going to stop anyone.

"Well, I'll let you know that it's not that light. " Simon retorted.

His look went behind Raphael, at the group of good friends talking openly to each other, until one of them brought their eyes back at Simon and Raphael. Simon caught Magnus's eyes faltering between the two of them.

"Why are you not with them? Did you guys argue?"   
After questioning Raphael, Simon was surprised to see him turn his head and wink at his friends who waved back and smiled from the opposite side of the class. He then focused his eyes onto Simon, staring at him through his excessively long eyelashes.

"I think you have your answer."   
They both scrutinised each other's features in silence. Simon caught himself thinking of Raphael as a beautiful young man. Not that it was a lie. The Spanish boy had smooth features and an eye pleasing body. But never had he thought of Raphael in another way than as annoying as he was. He **was** annoying. That was a fact. But maybe in a good way, after all.   
"You know, if you want to get rid of me, you could as well just tell me to leave." His small smile deepened. "But you won't."

Simon knew the man was right. He didn't have any desire to see him leave the seat next to him to let place to the void and loneliness. Having Raphael by his side, he had to admit, wasn't that bad. However, Simon had no idea of what were Raphael's convictions on this matter.

"And what makes you think that?"  
Their eyes bound together, Raphael's ones became teasingly intense for Simon to bear. But he didn't divert the look.

"You like me."   
His voice sounding impossibly rougher than before, he narrowed his eyes, as if to percept Simon's reactions better, which basically were a simple scoff he huffed in response.

"Tsk. Bullshit."   
Simon knew better than to look at the man who was, him, thoroughly staring at him, in expect of a genuine answer.  
"What?"

Raphael's smile had turned into a genuine grin directed to Simon, just until he laughed and dumped back on his seat.   
That was somehow far from being awkward or embarassing, Simon was actually enjoying and relishing Raphael's opinion on the way he felt about him. To be honest, Simon did like Raphael. But something stopped it from going further, something prevented Simon to think about Raphael this way. It was nothing more than a simple matter of friendship.

"You know, it's fine to like someone as awesome as me."   
The man sneered, all his attention fully given to Simon, who couldn't have braced himself enough for what Raphael was about to confess.  
"Especially when this someone likes you too."

As if by fate, as soon as the words left his mouth, the teacher barged into the room, excusing himself for the delay, stopping Simon from whatever he was about to say. If he was ever going to say anything. Raphael, though, didn't look away. The same smirk anchored playfully onto his suddenly very kissable lips, he kept staring at him, unsettling Simon at the highest point. At one point, he decided to drift his attention to the class he liked the least.  
But it took the whole hour, half listening to the chemistry teacher, for Simon to process that Raphael might actually like him, while he shot the man on his left some one sided glances.   
_Raphael likes me_. It sounded nice... didn't it?

* * *

Since the frustrating hour of art class he had for obligation to pursue, Jace hadn't uttered a word to his heart brother who tried as much as it was still possible to soothe the tension already settled between them. Neither did he care to explain the strain they were both feeling to his dear sister who had been however insisting.   
He marched, ahead of them, listening to the click sound of his sister's excessively high heels against the floor, their whispering, the mingled pace of each person's steps, the locker doors slammig shut one by one, and soon enough, _her voice_.

It's only at this exact moment that he thought worth enough to rise his look and watch the people in front of him. And especially one particular girl, whom the silky long strands of fire hair were gently stroked by a taller man Jace didn't appreciate having in sight.

Gritting his teeth, his jaw contracting, he watched Sebastian Verlac slither his fingertips lower, onto the line of her thin jaw.   
But what triggered a flame of anger into his chest was her twinkling green eyes roaming over his face, hidden each time her long eyelashes flapped.   
She didn't pull back, she didn't push him away, at the point that Jace wondered if she would lean in and lock lips with the man he thought was infatuated with Isabelle.   
If it was jealousy, it sure didn't feel like it. No, it felt more like failure and defeat.

He shook his head, shaking himself out of his trance in the process. The floor seemed like a much better thing to look at. At least, he thought.   
Until he somehow found someone else with his eyes. A sight that, he swore, pissed him even more than seeing his prey slipping through his fingers.

While Sebastian Verlac found his way back into Clary's life, Simon himself did seem to have at least as much fun as they did.   
Sitting on a bench, watching his own hands fiddling, his lips moved in attempt to speak to another man who happened to be the one and only Raphael Santiago, their shoulders brushing from the proximity they had on the narrow seat.

Jace's jaw was sore from clenching, his nails almost pierced the skin of his sweating palms.   
What was it all about?  
He considered the mere options offered to him and decided better to head in the bench direction. His siblings behind him had, to his own pleasure, continued their way deeper into the hallway while he walked off to find himself in front of Simon and his new friend who both looked up in synchronisation at his sudden apparition.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to steal your boyfriend." He pronounced somehow bitterly before grasping Simon's collar and dragging him away enough to escape Raphael's sight. They both found themselves in a secluded hallway in which Clary and Sebastian were still talking to each other, a reasonable amount of steps away for them not to notice Simon and Jace's presence.

"Wow, uh, nice to see you too."

Jace ignored the easiness of Simon's tone who seemed, him, very lighthearted, to point at the other side of the corridor where Clary was now unnaturally laughing at one of Sebastian's comment, as if to push Jace's limits.  
He watched while Simon's eyebrows shot up in what he considered as surprise, as well as when he pursed his lips in realisation.

"Care to explain?"   
Jace didn't grant attention to the hardness of his own tone as he poked Simon in the chest angrily.

Simon, though, didn't react to this gesture, and his eyes still focused onto the pair gladly talking to each other, he blinked.  
"Does she...?"

Even through the dread and the hesitation of his voice, Jace understood as soon as the words were out, what he was implying.   
"Yes, she knows. She knows that you're a liar and she knows that Sebastian is single."  
He poked once again.  
"Way to go, Lewis!"

But that one didn't end up ignored by the dark haired boy this time and, startling Jace, he snatched his hand away, as his eyebrows deeply furrowing, left a wrinkle on his forehead. Jace did see clear the anger anchored in his usually soft features when the light from the top reflected on his face. But it didn't the slightest impress him.

"Oh, so the blame's on me, now!"

"That's exactly my point! While you were gladly enjoying yourself with your new boyfriend, you forgot that you put Izzy in trouble and didn't even bother make sure Sebastian stays away from this. You decided to lie while it was the least wary thing to do!"

Simon shifted uncomfortably, clenching his jaw, he decided himself to push onto Jace's chest as well, playing along, making the other lightly back off.

"He is not my boyfriend!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Why would it matter, anyway?"   
The feeling of relief was the last thing Jace would have expected to feel. However he, for the first time, found himself glad to hear Simon contradict him.  
But as soon as the question was asked, Jace caught himself being in an uncommon sensation of being stuck. Why would it matter? What if Raphael was indeed his boyfriend? Would it change anything?   
But then, again, it would change a lot ot things. Would they really be fighting, for example?   
The deal was the deal. No one of them were supposed to break it. By dating someone without Jace's help, Simon would have broken it.

"Because it's against the deal!"  
After a moment Jace used to innerly praise himself for finding an answer to the lethal question, Simon desperately shook his head.

"I did that for you! And what exactly was your part of the deal? Apart from changing my look because '_Simon looks so repulsing that he needs a make over_' !

"Pardon me if helping a desperate case sounds like nonsense!"   
By seeing the vague wave of hurt on Simon's face, his eyelids fluttering, his parted lips eventually pressing close, Jace would have done anything to take back the words he had pronounced and that had seemed to have such impact on Simon's fragile self trust. But somehow he didn't dare to do anything about it, the words were stuck.

"What do you take me for? Your slave?!"  
Simon tried the most possible to supress the look of shame and pain and erase it from the features of his face, but it's said that corporal language is inevitable.   
And Simon knew it.   
"Since the beginning you just take advantage of me, don't you..?"   
The gloom of his tone left etched in Jace's mind as he left Simon unanswered and felt his lips sealed and his mouth forbidden of any possible answer.  
"You knew it wouldn't work out for me but you made me believe it would, just so you could use me..? I was starting to admire you, to see you in a different way, to **trust** you. At least enough to tell you my biggest secret. And you just take me for a fool. You just use me."   
Everything went fast. In one second, Jace felt all of his wishes and purposes escape from his grip. His willing to have Clary, his integrity, the contract they had agreed.

"Look, I-"

"Clary may be my best friend. But I can't control her feelings. If she doesn't see anything good in you, she might be right."

"..Simon-"

"I don't know what you want from me. And I don't wanna know anymore. We're done here."

An in another second, he had lost Simon as well.


	5. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One thing you need to know, Izzy always got the best ideas.

**5.00pm**

He wanted the insistent knocks on his door to fall unheard, to subside. He wished the silence could settle in his room to let him drown his look into the glimpse of blue in the sky which the dark dust of clouds was flooding. Without a doubt, he wanted to be alone.

The knocks wouldn't stop. But the grey dust was slowly evaporating away, the whitish blue was spreading. And as for now, he was alone.

"Jace, please, open the door."   
_For now..._

That was the first time, since he had locked himself into this room, that he heard a voice. At least, the first time he had paid attention to it. And when he somehow caught the desire, the wish for this voice to belong to Simon, he gulped down the lump that had reached his throat and let his hands slide off the window frame. All of this was even too ridiculous to be real.

He wanted to go back there, when it happened, to tell him how sorry he was for treating him this way. But as late as it was now, it probably was a worse idea than to stay here and mope.

"For how long are you going to sulk? Just so I know."   
And the voice didn't belong to Simon.   
So, he reluctantly snatched his eyes away from the wintry sky, he replaced the mesmerizing sight of the landscape by his adorned wooden door that was much less stimulating to stare at.   
"I know you told Simon."

As much as he'd like to be surprised, his sister had always known everything, no matter what. Alec had probably gave in and let it out, which Jace couldn't blame him for. Isabelle wouldn't be quiet until she finds out the deepest secrets.

"What happened?"

That was a good question. He wished he could register what had happened, but as unfortunate as it was, it happened too fast for him to process the regret he had felt.   
He had watched Simon leave, watched with bitterness the contentment cross his face when Raphael gripped his shoulders. In less than a second he had witnessed, feeling all of those eyes on him, his pride shatter in front of his own eyes.

The blond young man and his earliest childhood friend, Clary, were long gone. Or perhaps they had just died out of his mind. There was nothing left but him and his dear regrets.   
Why, regrets? Because he had realized the day he had barged into Simon's house, the day he had opened up, that his nightmares were no longer haunting him.   
That this night, after he had confessed to him something he had always hidden, Simon's words had turned the disgust he felt while watching himself in the bathroom mirror, into some kind of... _peace_?

"I don't wanna talk about this."   
For the slew of seconds that flew by, he thought his voice had been too weak for his sister to percept. He thought maybe she had left, eventually. And it was, in his eyes, better this way.   
He wouldn't be ready to describe the feeling of remorse.

"You mean, your feelings for him?"   
But finally, with simple words, without even the need for her to be in the same room, his sister knew, once again with insight how to make him feel vulnerable.   
_Feelings_. Feelings are tantamount to shame, pain and falseness.

_Love is for wimps_, just as well. But, was it even about love?  
Jace inhaled sharply. Maybe it was all about love.  
Unconsciously, he trailed his feet up to the door, his fingers grasped its handle, pulling it open.

"Leave me alone."   
A lamentable mistake, he thought, when his sister pushed him aside and forced her way into his room. He should have known. Or maybe he knew.   
But he would simply use this pretense to let the truth slip out and find comfort in his sister. Perhaps he needed to talk about all of this. As much as it was a waste of time.

"No. Not this time, brother."   
Finding a seat onto his messed sheets, she had seemed to forget about the fancy dress she was wearing, as well as the make up staining her face. It's only at this moment that Jace realized she had been there for a moment. Would he have to feel guilty about that, too?  
Probably not in his sister's eyes. It seemed like the only thing bothering her was the plain emotionless facade in his eyes that, for once, he didn't control. Ever since Simon had turned upside down whatever facade he was trying to build, none of this mattered any longer, anyway. He had stopped trying to be someone else.   
"Something changed into you. Maybe you should consider stopping the deal."

Was it even the matter? After what happened, the deal wouldn't even be a question in all this disaster. Jace wished very hard it was the matter, however. If only it was this simple and pathetic.

"The deal's pathetic." Saying it out loud felt like a weight flying off his shoulders. It also put a frown onto his sister's face. And he didn't know what it was about. He felt tired. Too tired to even wonder about that.   
"Everything about this idea was stupid. It doesn't even matter anymore. He won't talk to me."

"Jace, the real question is, what do you really want?"

Wouldn't she stop asking questions meant to stuck him? What could he possibly answer?   
_What do I want?_  
What he wanted did matter as much as the deal they had agreed on. Basically, it didn't matter the slightest.

"I want him to forgive me."

"Is that everything you want, right now?"

"What else could I possibly claim..?"

The confusion surged in him when his sister flashed the purest smile to herself, a smile of realisation. Or at least what looked like realisation.   
Yes, this was the only thing he wished, right now, wasn't it?

"Well, I thought you wanted Clary in the first place."

**Clary**. Was this conversation ever going to an end?   
Clary wasn't the question, either. But was she what he wanted? Did he still even want her?   
Simon was right. She didn't belong to him. Most of all, she didn't want him. And as he had said, neither of them could control her feelings.   
He wanted to see Simon, that's it.   
No. He _craved_ to see Simon. Did it even make sense?

What had Simon done to him and his bottled up feelings?

"I just want to talk to him."

"Then why don't you?"

Jace forced a smile onto his face, a foolish smile.   
As if Simon would ever want to even hear him out... And even if he did, what was Jace supposed to say? That he was sorry? That wouldn't be enough.

"I'm just selfish. I'm so selfish. It feels like I just forgot the way he stood up for me the day everything had started. Something that no one had ever done before.   
He held my hand, he told me that it was right to be weak, to let it out. It was the weirdest thing that had happened to me. But the worst is that... I believe him. And I didn't have the tiniest glimpse or even the sensation of the night my parents died, after then. I slept peacefully. And I believe it's the first time I did since the car crash.   
He just... erased all of this with simple words.  
But unfortunately, I am selfish. And stupid. I've never realized how stupid I am."

All the words were blurred, a mess of unspoken thoughts. A speech that barely made sense to himself. But which seemed to make enough sense to his sister who ruefully smiled, even through her surprise, and who, in no time, got closer to him to bring her thin arms around his middle.

"Talk to him."

"To tell him what?"

Isabelle pulled back, some of her silky hair sticking to his tee, a grin on her face that Jace could hardly understand. But what he saw into the black of her eyes looked like a glimpse of hope.

"I have an idea."

* * *

**6.00pm**

"And I don't wanna know about it."   
He said while adjusting the microphone behind the set he had put on the stage. Watching when people crossed the entrance of the Hunters Moon, he couldn't help but notice that the crowd of customers was growing way too fast for a Friday night. He wouldn't complain. Or maybe he would.   
He had to admit, the nervousity was gnawing on his willing to perform, but he aptly knew that Clary wouldn't give up until he'd perform in front of 'actual people', as she tended to say.

He could as well sight many familiar faces that he didn't know if they were reassuring or stressing him out even more. He watched Magnus holding drinks with his favourite Lightwood at the bar, not so far from a radiant Isabelle who was excessively laughing at Meliorn's face. Simon acknowledged a slew of other people from different classes, whether he appreciated them or not, it seemed like they were all mustered in front of him.

And all of a sudden, when he thought nothing could be more perfect, he couldn't help but realize that every members of the Lightwoods family were present, **even** their mother who was surprisingly smiling at her son, except him. Of course he wouldn't come. Not after the argument they had had the last day. An argument that he had tried all day long to erase from his mind. He should have stayed calm, he thought. He should have not gotten mad. Not like that.

"C'mon I wasn't going to give you the details. Nothing really happened, anyway. Not yet, at least."  
His best friend brought him back to reality, with a comment about her last evening with Sebastian Verlac, that Simon didn't feel the need to know about.   
It was a reality he was dreading, and that, seeing all the people surrounding him, he wished he could escape. But so many people were gathered and, all in their own way, waiting for him.   
Honestly, he wasn't expecting so much people to come. And in another way, it warmed his heart.

He wondered if Jace's presence would have soothed the tension crashing his heart and the fear that he would fail his friend during his performance and make a fool of himself. Surely his presence would rather enhance those fears. Simon was particularly certain that Jace hated him. Not only because he had dared to confront him, which not many people would have done, but also because he had left the deal close, while Jace found benefit out of it.

"God... Are you serious?"

"What? What's your problem with Sebastian?"

"I have no problem with him. It's just that... it's so sudden."

Truth is, that Simon didn't himself fathomed why this information would somehow bother him. He had called off the deal. And his old feelings for Clary were long gone, anyway.   
Nonetheless, Jace **did** have feelings towards her, didn't he? He could hardly even imagine the hurt he had felt by seeing them together, a pain that he thought was maybe the reason why he seemed so upset.

As soon as he finished tuning his guitar, his eyes fell onto the crowd, onto Maia giving him thumbs up, Raphael beaming at him, Isabelle cheering. All of that aroused a mix of euphoria and confidence in him. During these eventful past days, he had learnt a lot. He was thankful for the people supporting him, right now.

The lights around him lighting on were blinding him for a second and, when his eyes adjusted to the light, his fingers strummed slightly the strings of the instrument he had owned for years.   
It would do the thing. He would do it. What could possibly go wrong?

The strumming became soon regular, the light push onto the strings gave off an agreeable and vibrating sound flooding the quiet room where people nodded to the pace of the melody. He watched far away from the crowd. His gaze became lost, without he even noticed. His lips parted, he heard his own soft voice echoe and mingle with the sound of his guitar.

_My regrets are a shade around my neck, I know_   
_It's tortured us, there's a burden that I can't let go_

His own words came out and pierced his heart. Throughout the melody, his voice became lower every now and then, without anyone noticing. His eyes were definitely lost somewhere else. And so were his thoughts.   
While in front of him were people bouncing back and forth at the music and some of them seemed to get hypnotised by the notes, the only thing he saw was the golden color of someone's hair, and the only thing he listened to was not his music anymore but the sound of the entrance door. He kept on singing, on playing, but all his attention was on the person who was now standing there, among the crowd, smiling. Smiling at him.

He only realized the veracity of his presence once he stopped plucking on his guitar and his voice was no longer resounding through the room.   
Jace had come, eventually. And although their father wasn't present, the whole Lightwood family was gathered and now applauding, as much as the remain of the crowd. People were cheering, whistling, but none of this was the reason of his relief. A second was enough for him to lock eyes with the man distinguished among the gathered people.  
But before it could get too intense, Simon decided to look away. He had to stay focused on the rest of his concert.

Throughout the musics following one another, Jace loathed to admit that he enjoyed the vibration of his voice into his ears, the pace of his melodies and, most of all, the appearance he had up there, onto the stage. The light bathed his pale skin, made his eyes gleam in the same way it reflected onto his bright guitar. For once it seemed, to Jace, as if Simon was pushed into a state of confidence, of passion.  
Wasn't it harmonious?

After all, his sister's idea couldn't be that bad, he thought. A thought that was soon enhanced when Simon had laid eyes on him. And he swore they had stared at each other for more than seconds, perhaps even more than minutes that were embarassing him. The time didn't seem to be worth counting, when he could just as well enjoy the feeling of locking eyes with the man whom he had wished to hear the voice. Something brought to his heart a feeling of dread, however, and he couldn't quite put a finger on it.

And, the more he kept feeling the notes resound and vibrate under his feet, the more he grew impatient. How long ago had he been standing there?

He threw a look, all around him were pressed and bouncing bodies, dancing and enjoying themselves way too much for Jace to find any of his friends in this bunch of people. With the ounce of luck he had, it didn't take more than a minute for him to find Alec in a corner of the room who, visibly, was enjoying something else than the pace of the rhythmic music, making out with his lover. _Has my brother gotten wilder than me?_  
His question dwelled unanswered, though, when someone gripped his arm and drowned him into the crowd once more, and he lost sight of his busy brother.   
The grip onto his wrist didn't left until it turned him around, revealing the chestnut brown hair color of a person he would have done anything to avoid.

"Wow, Kaelie. It's been a while."

"Way too long, you mean."   
Jace did just need to hear the tone of her suave voice to guess as fast as possible that she had had one too many drinks.

"No, I meant, not long enough."   
Her fingers not letting go of his wrist, he tried to pull back. But, to his detriment, the space he could use to back off was too dim to afford any movement.   
Though, he did really feel the need to pull back. Her hands finally let go of his wrist to instantly be placed onto his shoulders. They slipped quickly to the back of his neck, imprisoning him into her embrace, as she almost nuzzled her nose against his. She started to move in attempt to dance on the music but she was too wasted for her gestures to even look like some sort of dance.

"I missed you."   
Scenting the sharp smell of alcohol from her breath hitting his face, Jace caught himself even wondering how he could have started dating her. After all, they were both kind of similar. They were players, ridiculously stuck behind their notion of popularity and reputation. But Kaelie was desperate. And Jace could feel himself going numb at the awkwardness of this situation.

Before her lips could get any closer to his, he put firms hands onto her shoulders to slowly push her back once and for all.   
She tripped, slightly, and grasped his clothes to keep herself from falling.   
While she was foolishly laughing out of her tipsy state, he grabbed her elbows to keep her in place but she pushed him away, her mouth wide open as she kept laughing for no reason.

"I know you still love me.. " She put a finger onto his chest, at the place of his heart. "...deep inside."

Before Jace could process the last events, he heard a voice from afar getting gloser, a voice he had been hearing since he came in here.

"Hey! Kaelie!"   
Simon presented himself between the two of them, hands into his pockets. And that's only then, as his look hovered Simon, that Jace realized that the music had changed into something lower and slower. Up close, Jace had noticed Simon was wearing the jacket they had bought on Tuesday, the color complimented his fair skin and the fabric stuck to his chest.   
"I'd like to say that it's nice to see you, but, you know, it's not."

"What's this freak doing near us? Tell him to go away!" Kaelie retorted when she eyed Simon in half disgust and curiosity, her words blurred by her drunk state.

"Why would I do that? You've always had a thing for my friends."   
Jace laid hold of the situation to retaliate, a warm, dizzying smile onto his satisfied features.

"Oh, sorry, did I interrupt anything?"  
Jace watched while Simon asked Kaelie in what he heard in his tone as sarcasm.  
"It's curious, though. I was practically sure you were dating Meliorn. He's the one who happily told me so, at least."   
Simon took one step closer to the girl, towering her in a way she had to raise eyes to look at him. "Maybe I should go tell him that he was wrong, just so you can keep grinding desperately on your **ex** boyfriend who, if you hadn't noticed, doesn't want anything to do with you."

Jace, astounded, brought his look to his now furious ex girlfriend who, without a look, instantly stormed out of the bar and left a proud Simon behind.  
The blond ogled at Simon in awe for some seconds, wondering if the feeling of jealousy was involved, before bursting out in laughter.   
Simon joined him, soon, and they both, without saying anything, headed to the drinks bar.

"That was very harsh." Jace commented, being done laughing, and ordered a beer, Simon doing as well.

"But deserved."   
Simon waved at Maia who smiled back at him, before taking a sip of his beverage.   
Jace looked at him, bit his lip, took a breath in, basically everything to make himself relax before speaking up again. He knew once he'd do, everything would start.

"Um, I meant to.." Simon eventually turned to him. "... to apologize for what I said yesterday and also the way I've been treating you."   
Jace didn't dare to look into Simon's eyes in which the surprise was blatant. Instead, he simply threw his arms around Simon's middle, gently, resting his head on his shoulder, innerly freaking out by the simple feeling that procured this deed.   
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."  
He thought that maybe it was too straight forward, that maybe it didn't make sense. It would have, if Simon had seen him mope around his room for hours, or if he could feel the relief he was feeling by being close to him..   
But none of this mattered, because Simon hugged him back, releasing his breath Jace realized he had held when he took him into his arms.

"Wow, uh... it's okay. I'm not mad."   
Jace pulled back.

"You're not?"

"No, I mean.. It's not only your fault. It's also mine. You were right, I screwed up." Simon justified after biting his lip and breathing in to soothe the anxiety he was feeling by Jace's still hands on his middle. When they both pulled apart, Jace drinking his first sip of the beer he had ordered, Simon tried to clear his mind.  
"I wasn't expecting to see you there."

Jace, his eyes onto the gold color of his drink, smiled slightly.  
"Apparently you were a great singer, so I had to check it by myself."

"And.. may I ask how you found me up there?"  
Simon inquired hopefully, having himself a small smile onto his lips as well, and turning to face his interlocutor.

"No, you may not."  
Simon scoffed in disbelief as Jace answered in all seriousness.   
"I actually wanted to ask you a favor.."

Jace knew these words would disappoint somehow the younger boy now scowling at him, a bummered look on his face, but that was the purest truth. And if he didn't achieve to ask, despite the reluctance, the said favor, his idea would fall through and nothing would be left. This opportunity was one of the few ones that he could only take once.  
"Oh, so that is the genuine reason why you came."   
It aroused, for some reason, a feeling of déjà vu...

"No, I came because I felt bad. I've been an ass with you, and not only yesterday. You didn't deserve the way I treated you."   
Jace cleared things up, locking eyes to show his genuine sincerity. And it seemed like Simon, above the feeling of greatest surprise, had seen he could trust him, in his eyes. He briefly let his own eyes fall down before speaking again.

"But you still got a favor."   
Jace shrugged innocently, flashing an hesitant smile at Simon.   
"So what is it?" He crossed his arms over his chest. And that somehow made it harder to go on. In a single statement, everything became serious.

"You're not gonna like it."

"I don't like anything that's coming from you, so it's no surprise."   
But Jace passed over it, innerly rolling his eyes, as if he didn't have time enough to actually do it. His mind was too caught up in asking the favor, debating whether it was a good idea or not. Not that debating this would change his mind.

"Simon... will you be my fake date for Homecoming dance?"   
As he had dreaded, Simon widened his eyes in pure shock. And as he had dreaded once again, he then smiled in disbelief, looking half confused as much as half non believing.

"Ha! You got me, there. Nice one."

Jace parted his lips to say something, anything. Just one reassuring thing to make it easier to accept.  
"Look, it's just for one night, okay. And I promise I'll behave."

Simon raised his fair skinned palms.  
"You can't actually expect me to do that!" He exclaimed before shaking his head." And, do you really think it's going to make Clary jealous?"

Was it going to make Clary jealous? Surprisingly, Jace hadn't even bothered wondering this over. And for once it wasn't out of extreme confidence, the one he had always felt, but mostly because it didn't seem to matter.

"Honestly, no. But a man can try."

"She's totally into Sebastian, Jace. This is-"

"Yes, except that Sebastian is **taken**."  
He emphasized the word 'taken', feeling proud of the turning of the situation.

"We all know it was a lie, so does she."

"And soon she'll know that it's not a lie anymore."   
Simon, however about to retort something in return, found himself frowning, stopping in his tracks, his lips parted open.

"Izzy asked him out." Jace explained.

"She's part of the plan?!"

"... Kind of."

She was actually the source of the whole plan. But Simon didn't have to know about that.

For a moment, Jace was convinced that Simon wasn't thinking this over. To be honest, he knew it was a huge deal to handle, and that Simon might have not forgiven him, yet.   
Nonetheless, he saw him nodding in approvement.  
"Okay, I accept."   
Maybe he had already forgiven him, after all.   
Jace beamed.  
"But it will be on **my** terms."

"Okay.. whatever you want."

"First, no kiss."   
Wasn't it unsettling? For a moment it seemed like a glimpse of disappointment crossed his mind. He pouted childishly. Obviously there would be no kiss. Even though the idea sounded intriguing.

"You're no fun."

"And no physical contact except if needed."

"Are you serious?! Can't I even kiss you on the cheek?"

"... Well, I guess **that** is fine. And so is holding hands."   
Jace only smiled. He watched through his golden eyelashes Simon's relaxed features become tensed, watched his deep brown eyes faltering between his own, the strain crossing his face.

"And..." Without a second thought, he shifted closer to Simon." What if I hold you by the waist?"   
A pretext, of course, to get closer to him and to feel the proximity give off the familiar warm sensation it had always given off. While Simon's eyes searched his, he slid his right arm around his waist. Their faces dangerously left only a few inches apart. Jace heard pleasingly the sharp breathe Simon took in through his parted lips as soon as he felt the arm wrapping his thin waist.

"Um, yeah, uh, I guess it's... okay."   
Jace's smile deepened in satisfaction. Simon could have sworn, the look on his face... as stupid as it sounded, it felt like he was his _next_ _prey_.   
Jace removed his arm only after a few seconds staring way too deep into Simon's flustered eyes.   
_How can I be so stupid?_, he thought. Jace would never think about Simon as something more than a key, a useful item, right? However, the aspect of his magnificent eyes were the same as when he had first laid eyes on Clary.   
What was he doing with Simon? Why didn't he ask Clary out, by the way?

"Hang on... it actually means Clary will be alone.." Simom realized, out of his flooding thoughts.

"Well..."  
Jace hesitated, knowing how manipulative it sounded.

Simon scowled, once again.  
"**Or** you're going to ditch me."

"No, I'm not. I asked you to be my date, so you'll be my date."

"Then, what's the plan about?"

He had had the last hours to think about every inconvenience and part of his plan. He wasn't going to say them all, he was simply going to summarize.

"Clary's going to expect Sebastian to ask her out but at the last minute she'll realize that he kind of ditched her for someone else. And that's where I interfere. Seeing her alone, I decide to ask her to dance with me."  
This idea didn't seem to please Simon, when he scrunched his eyebrows in the slightest way possible, the tiniest movement of his eyes meant once again the disappointment. Jace knew it. Or at least he hoped.  
"Just for a few minutes so we can get closer and I'll come back to you, don't worry. I know you'll miss me."  
He paused." It doesn't stop you from dancing with someone else, though. Like your **dear** Raphael, for example."

The emphasizing seemed like an overreaction which had Simon frowning and smiling just the next second.  
"That's an excellent idea, actually."  
This time, Jace allowed himself to roll his eyes. He hadn't expected Simon to be so pleased at the idea.  
"That's funny, right now, you kind of sound jealous."

_Damn_ _it._

"Jealous? That's ridiculous."   
Simon hummed playfully, a particularly annoying smile edging his lips, his eyebrows raised at Jace and almost wiggling.   
"I am not jealous."

"Are you somehow trying to convince yourself?"

"I am **not**."   
Jace's tone was so convincing that he felt like he started to believe his own lie.

"Okay."   
Simon gave way, raising his hands in defense, yet still eyeing him unobtrusively. What was the point in hiding when you're already found? Jace huffed in defeat. He hated the idea of Simon dancing with Raphael and had to expel this single picture out of his mind.

"Okay, maybe a little."   
Even though it seemed like Simon had already demasked Jace, he still looked excessively shocked at Jace's admitting. Probably because Jace admitting something is not something that happens more than once.  
"But it doesn't mean I like you."

"Actually, it kind of does."

Simon proudly watched while Jace glanced every now and then around them both as if not to be seen in this rather embarrassing situation of being caught _liking_ Simon Lewis after spending his life despising him.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but it doesn't."

"Oh yeah? To me, it sounded like you were actually asking me to be your date, though."

"My **fake** date."

"We're still going there together. _Hand in hand_."   
Simon emphasized, having Jace rolling his eyes. However, a fond smile appeared on his face as he did so. This was probably appeasing the jealousy itching him.

"Try not to enjoy yourself too much, fake boyfriend."   
Jace held him an arm for him to take, not managing to restrain the smile he was sporting out of satisfaction. Simon had accepted. Nothing could go wrong. Having him as a boyfriend, as much as it was phoney, was an idea he caught himself liking.   
"Let me walk you home, _sweetheart_."   
Simon encircled their arms, beaming as much as Jace, brushing their shoulders together. A slight beat of his heart seemed to be skipped as he saw Jace peer at him through his half opened eyes, a look he was craving for.

"Oh, and one more thing." Simon added, while, their arms linked, they made their way to Simon's house. "No nickname."

"Alright, beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you find this chapter relatively short. I can pledge you the next chapters to come might be rather long but I hope either way that you'll enjoy it. That's the most important to me. Thank you for all the support. I wasn't expecting so much from you guys ^^


	6. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How fast things unravel...

**7.30pm**

"Why are we here, already?"   
The same question that started to get on Simon's nerves. He pulled her into the small shop, his fingers wrapping her thin wrist while she trudged reluctantly behind him. He searched for the right section of he shop with his eyes, feeling Clary shuffle uncomfortably behind him. Which didn't help him concentrate.

"You need a dress for Homecoming dance."

"I don't even know if I'm coming, anyway."

"You **are**, Clary. You can't miss this opportunity."  
He heard Clary sigh in his back and frowned in disillusion.  
Simon remembered as clearly as his own name, back when they were both particularly young, that Clary dreamed of one day where she would get to buy the fanciest dress and impress the crowd with the beauty of her favourite purple draperies back then.   
She had forced him to watch with her, the excessive amount of movies based on prom and dances.   
She lived for it, she just wished to witness the beauty of the crowd of people each dancing with the love of their life.   
A dream that almost all girls of her age had, as well. But the reason of her dream was not to wear a beautiful dress but in reality, to see people around her that were actually happy. To see a place where problems and lies didn't have place.

This period was now long gone.

"What opportunity? To watch people dance around my pathetic alone being?"

"No, the opportunity to dance with a cute guy, silly."   
Simon removed a stack of clothes from an excessively high shelf that he could barely reach.

"Every cute guys are already taken."   
Clary complained, crossing her arms in disapproval, watching desperately Simon sort through the several costumes.

"That's doesn't prevent them from dancing with you, first. And then... I thought something was going on between you and Sebastian."

"I don't know... I doubt he's going to ask me to be his date."  
Simon stopped searching, to lean on the shelves behind him, peering at his best friend that had forgotten her deepest dream, and that was scathingly sulking. She was right to doubt it.

"You'll never find out if you don't come."

"I guess so..."  
Simon sighed in a final relief before turning around once again for another section of the shop he had grown to know, the extravagant colors of the fancy suits almost repulsing him.

"Plus, I need a suit as well."

"Wait... you're coming too?!"   
Even though he couldn't see her from behind, he heard her gasp in what sounded like shock, which led him to wonder if he had really not seemed to want to even hear about prom in the past.

"Well, if you can't miss this opportunity, I guess I can't, either."  
A royal blue tux picked his attention in the pile of clothes.

"But... homecoming has never been your thing!"   
Eventually, the tone of his friend urged him to look back over his shoulder at her wide eyes that eventually showed a particular enthusiasm.   
Homecoming would never be his _thing_, unlike for her. In his eyes, it was a matter of people believing they love one another and showing it to the world, to eventually lie, cheat on each other and break up a few days after then.  
Yeah, that's a dull vision of the world.

"It's still not. But at least, I'll be there for you, just in case."

Clary stupidly cackled.  
"Oh, you're so sweet"  
While he didn't expect her to, she eventually stepped closer to him and the piles of clothes, sitting on the top of one of the few white shelves stood into the shop.  
"And... since you seem very enthusiastic, I guess you already have a date, don't you?"

Was it wise to keep the identity of his date for himself?  
"Well... um, kind of..."   
Clary beamed while happily clapping her hands together.  
"It's nothing serious, though."  
He quickly added.

"You mean that there's nothing between the two of you?"

"No, it's just that it's... complicated."  
For sure, it was. Nothing Clary would understand if she had to know. But she didnt have to.

"But you like them..?"

"It's a guy. And yes, I think I do."  
It was destabilising to say such a thing out loud, saying that he liked Jace. Destabilising mostly because it wasn't a lie.

"I'm so happy for you!"

"Don't get too excited, though, it's just a date."

"My point, exactly."  
She got off of the shelf to close the distance he had settled by walking farther.  
"Simon, it's never happened, before. I mean, you always say that you're meant to be alone and you avoid any mention of this matter. I always have to force you to open your eyes and see all the people that actually like you. So to me, it sounds kind of serious, right now."

Simon realized, once the words were out, that what he was doing was in the single aim to help Jace settle down with Clary.   
And, he would like to deny that it saddened him. He knew aptly that she was right. That relationships were something he tried to stay away from. But, right now, he wished all of this was true, real. But it was a sham, like most of the things that recently happened to him.

He tugged a dress out of the trail of clothes to hold it to Clary.

"What do you think?"   
Clary smiled hesitantly before giving a nod in approvement.

* * *

Such a waste of time, Jace couldn't help thinking. A time that he would have gladly used to stretch his muscles that were hurting from being stupidly standing in an empty garden, desperately waiting for his sister to finish whatever was taking so long into her room.

Perhaps girls had some obligation to take more than an hour to get ready, wherever they were heading to. Or maybe it was only Izzy. But one hour had passed and Jace was still standing on the same grass, watching the same whitish lights brightening the dusk devouring the streets, wondering if his sister was somehow still alive.

But maybe this time that had seemed to flow by way too slowly was useful, at the end. Because standing here alone made him wonder if he had to pick up his _date_.

That's what standard people do, right?  
But, again, he wasn't standard. And everything that had happened in the past few days wasn't either. And, most of all, Simon wasn't his _actual_ date. Well, technically he was.   
If he wasn't, Jace wouldn't feel this outrageous sensation of dread, of something he considered uncommon to him. The lack of confidence.   
After all, everyone lacks of confidence while facing a situation they are not used to. Jace had never had any fake relationship, and even less with a guy.

What would people think of him? Would his reputation be stained? And if it was, did it matter?   
_Will I have to make my coming out?_  
He wasn't even gay, nor bisexual, or whatsoever. At least that's what he'd always thought so far.   
This was way too much complications to handle at this point.   
After all, he would just have to make up his unlikely relationship with Simon and then tell the truth as soon as he gets Clary jealous. That's what it's all about, anyway.  
_Clary, Clary, Clary..._

It sounded, all of a sudden, a bit foolish to expect anything to happen with Clary any longer. He had desired, indeed, to have her by his side during this night, and he had failed. What prevented him from failing again?   
Maybe deep inside, it wasn't what he wanted. Maybe he was meant to become someone else.

"Here I am!"

"Yeah, five days later..."  
Jace condescendingly commented before turning around to notice the changing his sister had done on herself. And, honestly, apart from the considerable amount of makeup on her face, her glittery silver dress had nothing unusual.

"Bullshit. It's barely been three hours."

"How lucky me!"   
Jace gestured dramatically around him to force an eye roll from his sister, and finally headed to the fancy car that was supposed to smoothly lead them to Brooklyn High.   
Except that...

It broke.

* * *

Except from the awful bottle of undrinkable wine, the uncomfort that procured his new outfit and the missing presence of his date, the party didn't seem so bad, Simon thought.   
He had been standing at the bar for thirty minutes and started to think that maybe he would make it to the end without ending up drunk, after all. But, anyway, wasn't the aim of this party to get drunk? Otherwise, it would be no fun.

Simon ogled at the glass he lightly held in his hands. Maybe he was already drunk.   
_Nah, not enough._

"Okay, what's bothering you?" Clary put her glass of wine down in an earnest gesture after wincing at the taste of it.

"Bothering me? Absolutely nothing. Nothing could be more perfect."

At the response Simon gave her, Clary decided to take another sip of what they all called wine.. A terrible mistake. She almost spat it back.   
"C'mon, he's coming soon, you know it. I don't know him but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't dare to dump you."

_No, he wouldn't dare. He'll never get over his little crush for you._ Simon was tempted to say, but, he wasn't drunk enough. And he wasn't willing to get drunk enough to let anything out.   
The wine did have some effect on him, though. He did feel somehow lighter.   
The blue and violet lights hovering them mingled with the obscurity of the gymnasium, as if to stun him. The synchronized movements of people around him seemed to blur, somehow. But he only put the blame on the darkness. He squinted, recognized some faces. Some people dancing, holding drinks.  
What was Jace doing? _Did he really ditch me?_

"Wow, I really suck at this."   
Simon caught himself saying out loud. As much as he didn't mean for Clary to hear it, he wouldn't take it back. It was already said and, honestly, he did feel like venting out, right now.

"At what?"   
His best friend simply uttered, herself feeling kind of dizzy.

"I hate relationships. I hate feelings. I hate prom and its disgusting wine. And I hate Jace Lightwood."

Clary, in the middle of bringing her glass to her lips, raised up her ginger eyebrows in a mix of confusion and surprise.

"Okay, first, wow. And then.. why are we talking about Jace, again?"

Oh, that's right. Clary did not know about his date's identity, which was for the best. But, sooner or later she would have to find out, anyway. So he might as well just reveal the truth.

"Well.. let's say that... my date-"

Before he could think about the next words to pronounce, he felt a strong hand grip his waist along with warm lips tenderly pressed onto his cheek, dangerously near his jawline.

"-is sorry for being late."   
Simon simply froze and unknowingly stiffened, being aptly aware of the identity of the person who finished his sentence, still having their hand onto his waist. And when, soon enough, he took notice of the pure shock onto his best friend's features, he judged better to play along and to force a small smile through his own surprise.   
"I had a slight inconvenience during the way there. I hope you didn't miss me too much."

Simon let his eyes fall onto Jace, finally, when he considered that he had regained his composure, which wasn't certain. And was even less certain when he witnessed for the first time in his miserable life Jace Lightwood wearing a suit, which was first uncommon, but most of all and he had to admit, pretty hot.   
Restraining himself from showing any sort of surprise or admiration towards Jace, he flashed a soft smile at his date, that still managed to look suspicious.

"Oh, you don't actually think I-"   
Still sweetly addressing a smile to him, Jace discreetly stepped onto his foot.  
"**didn't** miss you..?" Simon gasped, suppressing the groan threatening to come out procured by the pain in his foot.

After staring close at Simon, an uneven smirk onto his face, he eventually let his eyes wander around to fall onto Clary who, wide eyed, was foolishly smiling at the sight.

"Oh, hi Clary."  
He greeted, uninterested, almost sounding detached, which had Simon wanting to roll his eyes in disbelief.   
What was he playing? Clary was probably the first thing he laid eyes on when he had entered the gymnasium.

"Hi..."   
She awkwardly greeted back, her still wide eyes flickering back and forth onto Simon and Jace, which progressively reversed Simon's calm.   
"Wait, are you guys-"

"Care to dance?" Jace asked out of nowhere, tightening his grip onto Simon and surprisingly cutting Clary off in the process. Simon stared at him in incomprehension before Jace turned his attention to Clary, once again.  
"If you don't mind, of course."

Clary, to Simon's detriment, resigned to frantically shake her head, an embarrassed smile shaping her lips. And Jace instantly took the opportunity to pull Simon along with him further in the crowd.

"W-what are you doing? I don't even know how to dance."

"I'm saving us. And it's not that complicated."   
His lips pronounced, his voice hardly audible as he grabbed his fake boyfriend's wrist and dragged him to the middle of the bright bustling room.

"Easy for you to say. I've never had the opportunity to dance with anyone."

"Now you do."   
His eyes never leaving Simon's, he brought Simon's hands onto his shoulders, lacing his fingers around his wrist, leading them up in an excessively slow motion, their skin slightly grazing. The atmosphere around them felt as if turned into something different, warmer, stifling even.  
His own hands slipped onto Simon's waist as they had left his wrists, lingering dangerously lower, on his hips.   
And Simon wished deeply he could quell the heat creeping on his cheeks. Even though he doubted he could help it. The situation had suddenly shifted into something he didn't expect. And as much as he was confused, he refused to break it to ask anything about the sudden turning of situation.  
The warmth of Jace's fingers through the fabric of his suit was way too distracting to think about anything else, anyway.  
"See, you're not that bad."

"Oh you think? Wait until I step onto your foot."   
Simon savoured the charm of a weirdly genuine smile welling on Jace's lips and the thin dimples forming at each side of it.   
A new feeling of vulnerability flooded him as soon as his eyes dived into the blond's ones.

And that is why Jace oddly tried many times to keep eye contact with him, but that as soon as their eyes locked, Simon's eyelashes fluttered to instantly look away.   
Jace himself didn't know why he wanted Simon to lock eyes with him. Perhaps it was to be sure that they were the only ones owning that moment. That it was about them and nothing else. But now, was it really about them? Because, only a several seconds ago, it was all a sham, a plan, a _deal_.

Simon fidgeted, glancing all around, everywhere but at the man he was dancing with. Almost in what seemed like embarrassment, confusion, or fear.

And that was a silly game.  
Simon was different. Different from everything he had known, everything he had experienced, everything he had liked. It was a new taste of pure connection. Something which was not related to carnal desires, something rather innocent. It made him feel an uncommon sensation that he first didn't know was right or wrong.   
But maybe, maybe, he could give it a try.   
Give a try to something he didn't even know the veracity.   
He fathomed that his reputation he - so zealously - upheld, kept him back from even thinking about a man this way.   
But Jace knew with a glimpse of conviction that men aroused no attraction in him.   
And however, he felt Simon shuffle into his embrace, and this potent conviction flew away.

"Stop stressing out. It's just dancing."   
Jace eventually said, in a low, low voice, still pointlessly holding tight onto Simon.

"Except that I **can't** dance."   
At this reply, Jace grasped gracefully the other's hand as soon as the idea emerged in his mind and made him elegantly spin around, wishing for anyone to see the way their moves were so carefully controlled, which was unexpected.  
"I think you're doing great."   
Jace could swear again that Simon's lips curved, but only to be hidden as he once again looked down at his glistening black shoes.  
"Or maybe something else's making you nervous."

Simon dwelled silent, finally affording himself to look at Jace through his eyelashes, for a few long seconds that felt like torturing hours. Yet, the time had seemed to speed up when he closed his eyelids in the attempt to avert the look.

"Sorry, it's not my business."   
Jace added, suddenly feeling the urge to pull Simon closer, which he successfully did. His arms slid further around Simon's waist until they were wrapped around him, forcing Simon to tangle his arms around Jace as well. He rested his head on his dance partner's shoulder, enjoying the warmth of their pressed chests, the searing touch of Simon's fingers through his hair.

A tough pang speared his heart at the feeling of those sudden deeds that felt so unnatural and meant to be done at the same time.   
So much incomprehension overwhelmed Jace at the same time. What was he doing?

He squeezed Simon tighter until his breath was mere, gliding his hand up to his back between his shoulder blades, leaning his head against Simon's.   
The sensations that induced their excessive proximity tingled his skin.

He was not holding Simon because anyone was watching. And he found himself surprisingly fine with the fact that people could watch if they wished to.   
Once again, it was just Simon, who forgot about the contempt they had always showed towards each other. And this time, Jace had forgotten it, too. Even worse, he had replaced it with a feeling far too absent in his life. A feeling of love.

* * *

Maybe the wine wasn't that bad, after all. Maybe it was actually delightful. Or maybe Simon was too wasted to even care about its taste anymore.

And, even through his _tipsy_ state, he could spot from very afar his suitor dancing close enough to his best friend.   
_My suitor? Seriously?_  
He was most definitely drunk.

But, no matter what, he kept unwittingly feeling the searing alcohol hitting the back of his throat, he hardly noticed his own hand reaching for the glass.   
What had he done?   
Well, basically dancing, or at least attempting to. And he had successfully shunned making a fool of himself.

_So, what was wrong?_

Probably the fact that, merely two seconds after they had 'danced', Jace had evidently ended up pulling back and almost brushed past him, without uttering a word. And his arms were no longer wrapping his waist but now encircling Clary's. It technically shouldn't be _wrong_, but the sensation of falling into a trap, started to arise once more. And it was even bigger now. Now, it consumed his thoughts, alongside the pervasive alcohol.   
He was drowning too deep into them to take conscience of the presence prowling closer to him. A presence he would have probably felt awkward around, if he hadn't drunk that much. Which he could be thankful for but he wouldn't.

A presence he couldn't have expected, also. Whether being sober or not.

"Hi."   
There, Alec Lightwood simply sat down on a seat facing Simon's, looking the most out of place possible, himself. Simon took note that the Lightwoods would always be close enough to pierce his bubble of supposed comfort.

"Well, well, well..."  
Simon downered the beverage filling his glass.   
"Alec Lightwood. Jace's beloved brother.. isn't that great?"

Apart from the very much unimpressed look Alec threw him, Simon saw him take a glance at the bottle precisely placed near his hand, and especially the brief drops of wine still left in it.

"Oh. Well, I'll leave you to it."

Before Alec could move after announcing his leaving, Simon held up his hand.

"Now, this exchange was very enriching... "  
Simon coughed up and reached out for another sip, just before Alec gripped his wrist.

"I think you've had enough."

"You spoilsport."   
Alec eventually let go of his wrist, although slowly, as if to be sure Simon wouldn't make any other move. Which, obviously, he did. And his clumsiness was no help added to the fact that he was basically drunk. Thus, stumbling off his seat was nothing Alec wouldnt have expected. Still, he infuriatingly sighed, wishing he had not come here in the first place.

Simon, on his side, giggled. This was certainly the first thing he'd thought of. Alec didn't bother helping the latter up, he'd have debated it but Simon was back on his seat the next second. 

Alec let out a second sigh, of resignation probably, and sat back as well.

"So, I saw you.. dancing with my brother..? Is something there I should know about?"  
Alec finally and mistrustfully inquired, which was probably the reason why he had approached Simon, and which he seemed to regret when he saw the way Simon foolishly smiled while his eyes wavered all around him.

"Oh... no... Not at all. As you can see, he's crazy about Clary. What would he want to do with me, huh? I am nothing. Nothing beside her."

Alec hesitantly frowned in a way it seemed like the situation presented in front of him was somewhat familiar, but mostly pathetic.   
Simon, who had been searching for the bottle of wine Alec had hidden somewhere, dramatically sighed.

"I'm single and I'll always be, after all. That's my destiny, right?"

"You sound very desperate, right now."

"And you're not really helping, right now.

Alec turned around, in the aim to find someone with his eyes, someone that was now dancing with the said Clary who Alec, for some reason, didn't particularly appreciate. Probably due to his protectiveness.   
They were dancing close. Like, **very** close.   
Hence, Alexander rapidly made the connection with Simon's serious state of drunkenness. And he praised himself for being right from the start. Something was indeed going on between them. 

"Just... take it easy, okay? He may not see that you're into him, for now, but he'll come around."

_Will he? _  
What was he thinking?   
Simon had given up on trying to find the bottle back. Although he could feel the giddiness control his movements that he had also stopped, it seemed like his mind was clear enough to be drowned by these new thoughts Alec had brought up.   
He did not know if he could blame the alcohol, but he swore he could still sense the proximity, the warmth that seemed to stick to his body, smell the scent that was now gone. And this unbearable sensation that teenagers in love expressed in ludicrous romances.   
It was not the first time that a man, being close to him, made him feel desired. However, this was the first time he felt like chasing after someone's approval, someone's love. And most of all, someone's proximity.   
That was the first time it caused him to feel secured, safe, even in ecstasy.

He however felt the need to deny it. He wasn't here to discover whatever feelings he was developing for his fake date who also happened to despise him. He was here because his presence was necessary for a precise goal that wasn't his. And he respected it. At least, he had to.

"He wants her. This is obvious. She's the one for him. And I've already done too many mistakes. This time, I'm not going to ruin it. She's always had what she wanted. Why would that change for me, huh? She's my best friend, after all. I want her to be happy."

He didn't know if it was directed to Alec, if it was directed to anyone, but saying it out loud kind of convinced him to stay in his place. He would not leave this place and surely no one would come for him. And even though someone did, their presence wouldn't reach him.   
Just as the fact that Alec stayed sat in front of him didn't reach him.   
Only some words seemed to enter his mind while the silence had enveloped his thoughts.

"Jace will not make her happy. Convincing yourself won't make you happy either. Think about it."

* * *

The world had slowed down. And so did the music leading their steps.   
This moment was supposed to be veridical, revealing. The moment he had waited for days to happen. A moment that he had even made up in his head. Everything had been settled for this.   
He had imagined the color of her hair under he spotlights, the blurred sound of the music, the slight touch of her palms onto the back of his neck.   
And he had it all.

_So, what was wrong?_

Where did the feeling of uncomfort come from?

Slowly, as he absentmindedly replayed the notes of the song playing in his head, Jace realized that the deal had finally proved to be the right thing to do.   
Or did it?   
Because, if he let his eyes wander off the girl dancing in his arms, around him were people whom he perfectly knew the life, and far away was someone he did not know that much. And however, this someone was the one it felt right to be with. But still, he was far away from him. He wasn't the one he was dancing with.

And if you paid attention, he seemed not at the top of his mood, either.   
Was it because of him? Was it because he had ungratefully left him behind, after they had both shared something that felt oddly intimate?

What was wrong, was that he felt like being in the wrong place. Like he did not belong here.   
And it was all _wrong_ from the start.   
What he had wished and had struggled to get was _wrong_. His perspective, the way he used to press back his feelings, was _wrong_.   
He was getting what he had desired, certainly.   
But he did realize it was not what he was desiring, now.

What he was desiring now, was to take this someone away, to turn back time, to stop it, to relish the last drops of joy and safety that he had tasted while holding him in his arms.

But his eyes were stranded in the ones that, finally, had been on him for the past few minutes. Beautiful eyes, he had to say. Everything about Clary had something beautiful, something that had led him here, with her.   
Something that involved the stunning aspect of her defined curls of hair, the blushed color of her cheekbones.

But her eyes lacked of intensity, the intensity of Simon's ones. Her defined curls of hair were not messy enough, not dark enough. And her skin was so flushed, so vivid that Jace missed the paleness of Simon's face.

_Ugh, what am I doing?_

"What are you doing here, with me?"

Her voice was also beautiful, just as beautiful as the shape of her defined square face, and too distracting from the question she had asked.   
Or maybe Simon's silhouette was too distracting.

"What do you mean?"

"I can tell you want to be with your date, right now."

He had to sigh, to let out the frustration that was negatively increasing. The undeniable fear that unfairly sped up his heart pace.   
Pulling back from her afforded him some time to wonder what was the right thing to say.   
_What if I told the truth?_

What truth? There were so many truths unspoken.   
Although his arms had unwrapped her slim body, deflating the peaceful smile that had remained on her face, his hands had come to grab hers in an all too serious way that put a nasty frown on her face.   
So many thoughts rushed in his mind that he was afraid his words would lack of sense. His eyes had fallen for a few reasonable seconds onto Simon, short enough to erase the doubts, to fall back onto Clary, who was bemusedly waiting for anything that would put a stop to her questions.

"We're not dating, Clary."   
The music around them sounded weaker, making it difficult for Jace to concentrate on his next words, seeing the frown deepen on her face.   
"We're... hardly friends, actually."

"What..?"

He wished he could back off from what he had started. But he had started it way too long ago, if you think about it, and he couldn't wipe off his wrongs. His hands had tighten around hers, as well as his chest irregularly inflating from the distress.

"All of this is a set up. A part of the deal we have been.. planning with Simon."  
Her eyes went to find her best friend miserably resting his head in his hands at the other side of the room, and an unexpected feeling of guilt devoured Jace.   
"Don't be mad at him, I sort of dragged him into this. And... he didn't even gain anything back, at the end."  
Jace, whom the eyes had been roaming over Simon, tempted to get her attention back, to no avail. Nevertheless, she was somewhat listening to his words that were the more confusing her.   
"The only thing you need to know is that, I wanted you. And I was willing to use Simon because of this, while... he had been so oddly nice to me. It's my fault. It was stupid."

While he expected her to stay passive, to even leave without a word, while he hoped for this to be over, Clary fought back the desire to walk away and forced the words out of her mouth.

"This... this can't be. You seemed... in love."

_"You love him, don't you?"_, were the words he remembered hearing from his adoptive brother, earlier in the week.

And he realized rather unwillingly than easily, that after years of denying and repressing, five days had been enough to question his convictions and the rules that had been forced on him since the loss of his parents. Would he have failed and finally fallen in love with someone he had hardly gotten to know?   
After all, he had failed so many times in his life. And it had only brought him pain and struggle.   
But this time, that was something that actually felt right, ever since his world had crashed down.

"I might be, actually."   
He finally admitted, feeling like any other words would have been a lie.

"Wait, what? I'm not following, right now."

"It doesn't matter. You should join Sebastian. The fact that he's with Isabelle is only part of the plan as well."   
Before thinking about stepping the farthest away from her in an unstoppable shame, his hands found their way up to her face, his palms hesitantly resting on her cheeks in a dramatic way.   
"You deserve so much better than me. And so does Simon. I'm sorry for wasting your time. And for treating you like some... trophy."

And it's only after then, that he decided that leaving was for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for the people who've been waiting after I kind of ghosted. I had lot on my mind as well as a lot of work in school. As a matter of fact, it could take a while before I post again but I'll try my best and find inspiration to make the best last chapter possible!  
Thank you for your support!


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